Love & Sex

54 Percent of American Women Prefer a Circumcised Penis and That’s Just Sad

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I know Lindsay Bluth is on my side.

I have it from on-high that women don't like uncircumcised penises. I received this information from belittling, pun-filled Sex and the City dialogue, years of overheard bar talks, and now, the gospel's coming from a third-party survey conducted by sex toy slingers Adam & Eve. The circumcision survey found that an overwhelming 54 percent of American women don't enjoy foreskin, while 33 percent had no preference, a tiny 3 percent liked the untouched shlongs, and 10 percent of the women wisely refused to answer very personal questions about other people's genitals.

Dr. Kat Van Kirk, Adam & Eve's alliterative resident sexpert claims that because circumcision is so prevalent in the United States, "the Muslim world, Africa, and Israel," the good womenfolk just haven't been exposed to enough hooded instruments to actually like them. As we all know, fear of the unknown has never and will never be a valid excuse to not like anything. Plus, uncircumcised penises feel tons of pleasure, give a lot of slack to a hand job, and – oh yeah – are how men are naturally born. 

Let me tell you why bowing down to the snipped ween god is kind of sad: if ladies are holding men up to unrealistic or highly specific aesthetic standards for their genitals, what's to stop men from holding them up to the very same crippling norms? With products and surgeries like clitoral dehooding, labiaplasties, and vaginal dyes crowding the designer vagina market — nay, the very fact that a designer vagina market exists — is proof that by preaching about what genital look is the right look we and our wallets are becoming slaves to shitty (and hypocritical) ideals.

I think it's totally fine to rock a circumcised penis, for whatever religious, health, or personal preferences you may have, but, ladies, it's damaging to the entire notion of body acceptance to say vagina's can come in every pink, purple, and brown variety on the planet, but every male infant's foreskins should be, invariably, clipped off. Because you're not used to it, deemed it not normal, and are afraid to try new sexual experiences. This trickles down to labia shape, vulva color, pubic hair, and ball sacks alike. If it's not your junk, you should probably lay off. Or, at least, stop taking public surveys about other people's natural biology.

I know Lindsay Bluth is on my side. 

[h/t International Business Times]

Image via Veer.