Dateline

Dateline: "She reveals that the backpack she brought contains a bounty of sex toys."
Dateline

Dateline: "She reveals that the backpack she brought contains a bounty of sex toys."

"She is teasing me with a knife. Against all logic, I am not at all worried about this." You   |   03.9.2013   |  
Dateline: "I suggest we move the make-out session to the bedroom."
Dateline

Dateline: "I suggest we move the make-out session to the bedroom."

"We are kissing. I am drunk. Whee!" You   |   02.27.2013   |  
Dateline: "He has yet to sink a ball... we are both terrible at pool."
Dateline

Dateline: "He has yet to sink a ball... we are both terrible at pool."

"Half the shit he's told me about himself seems to conflict." Nerve Readers   |   02.8.2013   |  
Dateline: "I'm out at 2 a.m. on a work night with a guy whose last name I couldn’t tell you, who pays for everything with huge wads of cash...."
Dateline

Dateline: "I'm out at 2 a.m. on a work night with a guy whose last name I couldn’t tell you, who pays for everything with huge wads of cash...."

Speculate wildly on the identity of the pro athlete our narrator's out with! You   |   02.1.2013   |  
Dateline: "I don't like fellatio tutorials on a first date..."
Dateline

Dateline: "I don't like fellatio tutorials on a first date..."

Really, who would? You   |   01.18.2013   |  
Dateline: "We’re making out, my body in a limbo position..."
Dateline

Dateline: "We’re making out, my body in a limbo position..."

Will our narrator survive her last-call pickup? You   |   01.11.2013   |  
Dateline: "This is for you. I got it in Dubai. I was thinking of you."
Dateline

Dateline: "This is for you. I got it in Dubai. I was thinking of you."

Will our narrator live up to her date's wishes? You   |   01.3.2013   |  
Dateline: "She looks at my red pants and asks, 'Could you invite me to your yacht club sometime?'"
Dateline

Dateline: "She looks at my red pants and asks, 'Could you invite me to your yacht club sometime?'"

Will our narrator evade the bitingly class-conscious zingers of his lust object? You   |   12.14.2012   |  
Dateline: "I decide I am going to be a good girl and not hook up with anyone this weekend..."
Dateline

Dateline: "I decide I am going to be a good girl and not hook up with anyone this weekend..."

Will our narrator stay true to her vows? You   |   12.7.2012   |  
Dateline: "If I'm going to hang out with a guy with zero chance of a real relationship, he may as well be a famous professional athlete..."
Dateline

Dateline: "If I'm going to hang out with a guy with zero chance of a real relationship, he may as well be a famous professional athlete..."

Our narrator risks getting tackled. You   |   11.30.2012   |  
Dateline: "We've never met. Our first date will be a weekend vacation in someone else's house..."
Dateline

Dateline: "We've never met. Our first date will be a weekend vacation in someone else's house..."

Will our narrator and her internet flame hit it off in real life? You   |   11.23.2012   |  
Dateline: "If I'd worked my way farther back towards sobriety, I might not be sitting on his bed..."
Dateline

Dateline: "If I'd worked my way farther back towards sobriety, I might not be sitting on his bed..."

Will our narrator get to make out before he passes out? You   |   11.16.2012   |  
Dateline: "I'm out with a hot Irish footballer..."
Dateline

Dateline: "I'm out with a hot Irish footballer..."

Will our narrator score a goal, or get a red card? And other such puns. You   |   11.9.2012   |  
Dateline: "He just made the smoothest invitation for sex ever..."
Dateline

Dateline: "He just made the smoothest invitation for sex ever..."

Our narrator wonders if it can really be this easy. You   |   11.2.2012   |  
Dateline: "That girl is <em>not</em> straight..."
Dateline

not straight..."">Dateline: "That girl is not straight..."

Our narrator seeks female companionship in a gay bar. You   |   10.26.2012   |  
Dateline: "His profile only had three pictures, two of which were of his cars..."
Dateline

Dateline: "His profile only had three pictures, two of which were of his cars..."

Our narrator braces for a strange encounter. You   |   10.19.2012   |  
Dateline: "Stylish green dress, great figure..."
Dateline

Dateline: "Stylish green dress, great figure..."

Our narrator fights off an uninvited guest. You   |   10.5.2012   |  
Dateline: "He's already gone through the trouble of completely undressing me..."
Dateline

Dateline: "He's already gone through the trouble of completely undressing me..."

Our narrator reflects on arbitrary moral boundaries. You   |   09.21.2012   |  
Dateline: "I explain to him that rappers care about the things that matter most in life..."
Dateline

Dateline: "I explain to him that rappers care about the things that matter most in life..."

Our narrator and her date bond over career ambitions. You   |   09.5.2012   |  
Dateline: "The way he says, 'What you want?' makes my nether regions quiver, even though it's grammatically incorrect..."
Dateline

Dateline: "The way he says, 'What you want?' makes my nether regions quiver, even though it's grammatically incorrect..."

Our narrator can feel it, coming in the air tonight. You   |   08.7.2012   |