Dateline: "I feel like throwing up..."

We're collecting stories about your most entertaining dates. Send your time-stamped dating stories to; don't forget to include gender and age for you and your date.

Male, 24
Female, 24

6:30 p.m. - I arrive at the bar on Avenue B, sporting a rain-soaked jacket and fending off a horrible cold. I feel like throwing up. 

6:40 - She texts me "hey, I'm gonna be a little late!" I respond with "no worries, I'll be in the back in the blue hat." 

6:42 - I run to the bathroom to throw up/check my hair. I've just gotten an awful haircut. I dry-heave, splash water on my face, and leave the bathroom.

6:53 - She walks in. Tall Indian princess. "Hey, you're really tall," I say. She laughs and asks me what I was expecting. We sit down. 

7:00 - We order beers. She asks me if I'm hungry. I decide against telling her about my recent dry-heaving session, instead toughing it out and ordering quesadillas for the two of us.

7:20 - Food arrives. I realize that quesadillas are the sexiest date food. So much melted cheese. 

7:24 - We talk all about our lives. She has a successful job, speaks three languages, and lives in Manhattan. I ask her if she likes my hat and order another drink.

8:00 - Trivia night at the bar. It's on: my head is full of useless knowledge. 

8:10 - The first question is asked. I laugh and say it out loud. Everyone glares at me. Yikes, I'm bad at this game.

8:20 - We're not doing so hot at trivia. But she smiles at me and touches my thigh.

8:33 - I lay my head down on the bar and admit I'm not feeling well. (Chicks dig dudes on the brink of death, right?) My huge crush outweighs the nausea. 

8:40 - I touch her hands and ask her about her bracelet that says "I <3 Big Boobs." She tells me it's a breast-cancer thing. I bring up my mom's winning battle with breast cancer. Yes, I went there.

8:48 - She goes to the bathroom. I get the check and put my head down.

8:49 - I fall asleep. I actually fall fucking asleep. Holy shit. 

8:51 - She comes back and wakes me up. "I feel horrible," I say. She pats my back and tells me it's time to go. I agree.

8:55 - We go outside. I ask her where to go, because I'm still new to the city. She points me in the right direction.

8:56 - "It was really nice to meet you. Text me again when you're not dying." I laugh. We hug. It's different because she's so tall, but nice.

8:59 - She leaves. I put her in my phone as "T.I.P.S." — tall Indian princess, son!

9:04 - I puke.

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Commentarium (10 Comments)

Apr 10 12 - 9:42am

I was terrified that he'd end up puking on her mid-date. Congrats for making it through without hurling, guy!

Apr 10 12 - 1:26pm

This was damned funny. Well done man, well done. You held out until she was out of sight.

Apr 10 12 - 3:10pm

yeah, great effort and fantastic honest writing. Been there with a building explosion from the other end on a date and I'm still haunted by it. Maybe I'll send in that story...

Apr 10 12 - 5:47pm

Did you text her?! Can we get an update for Date#2?

Apr 10 12 - 6:24pm

I puked almost immediately after going down on a girl, first date hookup and all. It had nothing to do with her, it had to do with the absurd amount and type of cocktails I'd had the previous 4 hours.

The fun part is she still made out with me after I puked. Yikes.

Apr 10 12 - 8:01pm

*nauseated hero

Apr 10 12 - 10:42pm

+1 jmh! Let's go on a date!

Apr 10 12 - 11:53pm

Long story short, we were briefly official until the romance fizzled after a couple of weeks. She was a lover of pancakes and boxed wine, though. I'll always remember the words my grandfather told me in his death jacuzzi: "Find a girl who loves pancakes and lock that shit down."

Apr 14 12 - 12:58pm

Surely it can't be difficult to find women who love pancakes and boxed wine. I thought everyone likes pancakes.

Apr 11 12 - 2:25am

why the fuck would you go through with a date if you were that sick?