Dateline: "That girl is not straight…"
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8:30 p.m. – I meet up with some friends… well, friends of my friend who's visiting from New York. It's one of those "I only have a few nights in town, so if I want to see everyone, they'll all have to meet up together" kind of nights. My pal is an old work buddy from a NYC bar, and I'm sure we'll have fun.
8:35 – The bar is packed. It's in the Castro, and it's gay. Which is to say it's packed with dudes, and a few token hags. And me, my gal pal, and her five, gay, guy friends. I bitch about the lack of chicks. Some of the guys point out the hags as "other girls," and I point out that said other girls are all very straight.
9:01 – One of the guys notices this hot blonde thing walking to the bathroom and says, "That girl is not straight."
9:02 – I get up and follow her. The bathroom is just a one-stall deal, so she's in line. I say, "Come here often?" in my cheesiest '70s voice. She giggles and says, "Yes, I visit the restroom a fair amount. You?" I tell her that I've actually just joined the line to hang out with her.
9:04 – She's up next, and as she goes in, she invites me to join her. As I start to enter, she realizes I wasn't kidding and says "Awkward!" I step back, but stay in line.
9:05 – She walks out, and I follow her away. She realizes now that I wasn't kidding about any of it — that I really had just wanted to talk to her. She pulls me aside and tells me she's on the worst online-fixup-date, but she doesn't want to be rude. We quickly exchange numbers and she walks away.
10:30 – I receive a text asking if we're still at the bar. She's walked the girl home and will come back to meet us.
10:40 – She walks up to our table and says, "Wow! I get to have a first date with all of your friends watching!"
10:50 – We decide to part company with my friends. She drags me to this nightclub where she knows the bouncer and gets us in quickly.
11:00 – I am drunk.
11:02 – We dance. A lot.
11:55 – She says, "Let's get out of here."
11:57 – She says, "Where do you stay?" But I'm house-sitting and my out-of-town guest will be there and has an early morning. I suggest her place, but she's bashful that it's not tidy, so we go for "a walk."
12:02 a.m. – We walk uphill, giggling, holding hands, and talking about nothing and everything.
12:18 – We're still walking. Uphill. She promises we're going somewhere awesome.
12:22 – She says, "Now turn around," and there's the entire San Francisco skyline, all lit up just for us. We're in a ridiculously high-end, suburb-y type neighborhood where everyone's got fences and gated driveways and shiny Range Rovers.
12:43 – We make out against a fence. Hands start to wander.
12:44 – The fence isn't working. I throw her onto the hood of a BMW and fuck her senseless.
1:15 – A light goes on on someone's front porch. We ditch out of there. She forgets her bra on the hood of the car.
1:16 – We walk downhill and giggle. She invites me out on a "real" date.