Dateline: "I bet sex with him would be a lot of fun…"
We're collecting stories about your most entertaining dates. Send your time-stamped dating stories to firstname.lastname@example.org; don't forget to include gender and age for you and your date.
6:47 p.m. – I check my makeup and my trusty First Date Outfit in the mirror. The long-sleeved light pink top covers everything up, but it's stretchy and hugs me just the right way. We both know this isn't going anywhere, but I still hope he thinks I'm pretty.
6:48 – Man, my boobs look great.
7:35 – I'm late. Google Maps told me the restaurant was eight blocks away from where it actually was. I call him. "I think I'm lost…"
7:43 – I finally walk inside. There's only one table not occupied by a couple or group. The guy at this table has a brown shirt on, as mentioned over text. But I think, "Eh, he's way too cute to be the guy in the picture" and keep looking around the restaurant.
7:44 – He waves at me. Whoops.
7:50 – Here's why this isn't going anywhere: I'm twenty-two and I got dumped by my first boyfriend a week ago. My date has three girlfriends (they all know about each other — he's polyamorous), and he's moving to California in six months. I tell him this is exactly what I needed but was afraid to ask for on my profile: a low-pressure date where I can just have fun and remember that my ex-boyfriend is not the only guy in the world.
8:12 – I told him before meeting him that I just wanted a nice, quiet place where we could hear each other, and he recommended this Greek restaurant. A middle-aged Greek woman dances to live music while servers around her throw plates on the ground. We are sitting next to the speakers.
8:15 – The conversation picks up with him giving me relationship advice, like red flags to look out for in other men. But then it turns into a discussion about how much we like sex. This is a topic we are quite passionate about.
8:48 – We both have high libidos — my ex and I used to average two or three times a day. It's now been two weeks since the last time I had sex, and it feels like years. He sympathizes.
8:55 – We walk to a sex shop down the street and he shows me which toys he recommends I try now that I'm single. I'm of the "window shop in stores and buy online" school of thought, but this is good advice.
9:20 – He's been to a sex convention! He's fucking a fifty-year-old sex instructor with really strong Kegel muscles! He is a fountain of information, and I am an enthusiastic sponge.
9:38 – We never do stop talking about sex, and neither of us seems to mind. We're walking down a boardwalk overlooking the river, and he tells me about his first threesome, which happened two months ago and was awesome. I am utterly amused and fascinated.
9:45 – This man is the happiest man in the world.
9:50 – I'm tempted to sleep with him (he's really attractive), but I can't: I admit to him that my ex actually begged for me back at the start of this week. After a long discussion about where things went wrong, my ex and I planned to meet up this Saturday to try again and make our relationship better than it was. I insisted on still going to this date, though — I liked being single for a little bit, and I thought this would be a good learning opportunity.
10:10 – I ask him why he was willing to pay for dinner and shoot the shit with me all night when he knew he wouldn't get any sex out of it at the end of the date. He says he likes to play the long game: if I only talked to or dated a string of douchebags online, I'd be pretty put off of guys for a while, so he took me out to show me that there are actually decent guys out there with good intentions. Even if it doesn't pay off for him, it'll hopefully pay off for some other nice guy out there, whether that's my ex or another man later down the road.
10:18 – I'm glad I went on this date. I bet sex with him would be a lot of fun, but I'd rather make love with my boyfriend. I feel confident about this Saturday.
10:20 – Although sex with him would be really, really fun.
10:45 – We're in his car. He demonstrates a fingering technique: we pretend my hand is my pussy, and his hand goes in and does things. This is the only form of hand-holding we do tonight.
11:10 – I tell him, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!"
11:35 – He walks me to my door and gives me a big hug.
11:37 – I race to my bedroom, giddy over everything that just happened. I met a Manic Pixie Dream Boy! Now I can rebuild my relationship with my boyfriend with the optimism and knowledge I gained from this exciting date.
Saturday, 10:24 a.m. – My ex is my boyfriend again! We have sex eight times.