Dateline: "I bet sex with him would be a lot of fun..."

We're collecting stories about your most entertaining dates. Send your time-stamped dating stories to dateline@nerve.com; don't forget to include gender and age for you and your date.

Female, executive assistant, 22
with
Male, software engineer, 31

6:47 p.m. - I check my makeup and my trusty First Date Outfit in the mirror. The long-sleeved light pink top covers everything up, but it's stretchy and hugs me just the right way. We both know this isn't going anywhere, but I still hope he thinks I'm pretty.

6:48 - Man, my boobs look great.

7:35 - I'm late. Google Maps told me the restaurant was eight blocks away from where it actually was. I call him. "I think I'm lost..."

7:43 - I finally walk inside. There's only one table not occupied by a couple or group. The guy at this table has a brown shirt on, as mentioned over text. But I think, "Eh, he's way too cute to be the guy in the picture" and keep looking around the restaurant.

7:44 - He waves at me. Whoops.

7:50 - Here's why this isn't going anywhere: I'm twenty-two and I got dumped by my first boyfriend a week ago. My date has three girlfriends (they all know about each other — he's polyamorous), and he's moving to California in six months. I tell him this is exactly what I needed but was afraid to ask for on my profile: a low-pressure date where I can just have fun and remember that my ex-boyfriend is not the only guy in the world.

8:12 - I told him before meeting him that I just wanted a nice, quiet place where we could hear each other, and he recommended this Greek restaurant. A middle-aged Greek woman dances to live music while servers around her throw plates on the ground. We are sitting next to the speakers.

8:15 - The conversation picks up with him giving me relationship advice, like red flags to look out for in other men. But then it turns into a discussion about how much we like sex. This is a topic we are quite passionate about.

8:48 - We both have high libidos — my ex and I used to average two or three times a day. It's now been two weeks since the last time I had sex, and it feels like years. He sympathizes.

8:55 - We walk to a sex shop down the street and he shows me which toys he recommends I try now that I'm single. I'm of the "window shop in stores and buy online" school of thought, but this is good advice.

9:20 - He's been to a sex convention! He's fucking a fifty-year-old sex instructor with really strong Kegel muscles! He is a fountain of information, and I am an enthusiastic sponge.

9:38 - We never do stop talking about sex, and neither of us seems to mind. We're walking down a boardwalk overlooking the river, and he tells me about his first threesome, which happened two months ago and was awesome. I am utterly amused and fascinated.

9:45 - This man is the happiest man in the world.

9:50 - I'm tempted to sleep with him (he's really attractive), but I can't: I admit to him that my ex actually begged for me back at the start of this week. After a long discussion about where things went wrong, my ex and I planned to meet up this Saturday to try again and make our relationship better than it was. I insisted on still going to this date, though — I liked being single for a little bit, and I thought this would be a good learning opportunity.

10:10 - I ask him why he was willing to pay for dinner and shoot the shit with me all night when he knew he wouldn't get any sex out of it at the end of the date. He says he likes to play the long game: if I only talked to or dated a string of douchebags online, I'd be pretty put off of guys for a while, so he took me out to show me that there are actually decent guys out there with good intentions. Even if it doesn't pay off for him, it'll hopefully pay off for some other nice guy out there, whether that's my ex or another man later down the road.

10:18 - I'm glad I went on this date. I bet sex with him would be a lot of fun, but I'd rather make love with my boyfriend. I feel confident about this Saturday.

10:20 - Although sex with him would be really, really fun.

10:45 - We're in his car. He demonstrates a fingering technique: we pretend my hand is my pussy, and his hand goes in and does things. This is the only form of hand-holding we do tonight.

11:10 - I tell him, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!"

11:35 - He walks me to my door and gives me a big hug.

11:37 - I race to my bedroom, giddy over everything that just happened. I met a Manic Pixie Dream Boy! Now I can rebuild my relationship with my boyfriend with the optimism and knowledge I gained from this exciting date.

Saturday, 10:24 a.m. - My ex is my boyfriend again! We have sex eight times.

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Commentarium (30 Comments)

Jun 08 12 - 1:52am
m

I'd be happy too if I had three girlfriends who knew about each other. Fuck that guy. Some people are just greedy!

Jun 08 12 - 9:16am
U Mad

Youuuuu madddddddddddd!

Jun 08 12 - 10:26am
m

I am. I be hatin' too :)

Jun 08 12 - 9:23am
Gila Monster

This is the lifestyle everyone on OkCupid thinks they can have.

Jun 10 12 - 1:15am
c

true story!

Jun 08 12 - 10:11am
ss

This guy was not a manic pixie dream boy. And he was definitely not taking her out to prove to her that men can be nice. He was definitely getting something out of it; he hoped she might sleep with him, and he enjoyed playing the role of "tutor" to a naive 22 year old, even if it didn't go further.

Jun 08 12 - 10:53am
mp

Hoping he might score and wanting to prove to her men can be nice are not mutually exclusive. I doubt he was disappointed by the night.

Jun 08 12 - 12:12pm
aa

"he says he likes to play the long game" -which kinda means a slow game. if she later decided that she wanted to have sex with him, he would be available. he's not bummed on not having sex but he made a new friend who might in the future.

Jun 08 12 - 6:30pm
jaycee

I mean, yeah. What if the ex hadn't come crawling back? The sexy gentleman card is a much better one to play than the sleazy-pushy card which might - might - get a one-night stand. Also, it's a nice thing to do that just happens to have likely positive externalities.

Jun 08 12 - 7:09pm
JCB

Really? I know the commenters here like to hate on absolutely everything, but I didn't see anything sleazy about this guy. He was straightforward and honest about his intentions with her, and it sounds like they both had a lot of fun with each other.

Also, there is absolutely nothing to suggest she's a "naive" 22 year old - that's a ridiculous projection. She said she loved sex and enjoyed meeting someone with the same perspective. It sounds like they both realized the door was open for sex, but the timing wasn't right and they parted as friends with no pressure. You guys just sound bitter.

Jun 10 12 - 6:50pm
MattFoRill

1. nobody called him sleazy.
2. 22 yo just broke up with her FIRST bf. sounds pretty naive.

I wish I wasn't so awesome at reading words.

Jun 11 12 - 9:16am
JCF

With three girlfriends, he's not desperate for sex at the moment, but as a guy, it's a big ego boost to have lots of women wanting you, even if the logistics would never work out to have sex with them all. So yes, he's getting something out of it. And if she breaks up with her boyfriend again, guess who she's going to think of first.

Jun 08 12 - 2:00pm
LL

Actually, he thought that he would get sex. Its old news that the woman SAYING it wont happen probably means it will... its kinda cute that the girl writing the story is so naive

Jun 09 12 - 12:01am
DBN

Yeah, he probably did think he'd have sex with her. What's important, though, is that he wasn't a douche when he didn't.

Jun 08 12 - 2:42pm
10:45 pm

Best anecdote from the date:

"We're in his car. He demonstrates a fingering technique: we pretend my hand is my pussy, and his hand goes in and does things. This is the only form of hand-holding we do tonight."

Jun 08 12 - 11:37pm
CC

I'm wondering where a guy with three girlfriends finds the time to go romancin' new prospects... and I say this as a poly person myself. That guy definitely doesn't have any other hobbies or interests, amirite?

Jun 09 12 - 5:28am
Harold

Sounds like they're both sex-nerds; especially the guy. When I first discovered that these types of people exist I was thrilled to be dating one but I've since come to realize that like most other types of the nerds it gets annoying when you're not on the same level about stuff.

Jun 09 12 - 12:37pm
steve

my ex-girlfriend was a "sex-nerd." It was pretty awesome for a while but it became obvious after a while that she either didn't know how to talk about anything else or didn't want to.

Jun 10 12 - 11:31am
True Patriot

Three girlfriends times two nights a week each still leaves one night a week free. Plus, maybe one or more of the three was out of town?

Jun 13 12 - 6:43pm
smt

I've know many a poly person in my time and I'm going to go out on a limb and say the word "girlfriend" should be taken with not a grain but a shaker full of salt here.

Fuck buddies is probably the more appropriate term for what he has going on. I could certainly be wrong, of course, but I find it very hard, if not impossible to believe that any one person, regardless of gender, has the emotional resources for three relationships unless it's more of a Mormon-type thing where they all live together.

Otherwise, I'm guessing that he sees them all pretty casually. I say this b/c most of the polys I know have one primary relationship, they're actual boyfriend/girlfriend and then other secondary relationships where they expend less emotional energy and time. They rarely say they have three actual girlfriends/boyfriends.

IF this guy really does have three full-fledged relationships going he must have a very busy life and make his own work schedule.

Jun 10 12 - 2:36am
kas

Is it just me or are the people who talk about sex all of the time generally the ones with the most boring sex lives?

Jun 10 12 - 4:30pm
st

I'its just you

Jun 11 12 - 3:53pm
AAC

Naah, I've noticed that people who talk about sex all the time are often terrible lays, and seem more into the idea of sex than the reality of it.

Jun 11 12 - 6:11am
aww

I would have totally fucked him if I was her! It wouldn't even have counted!

Jun 11 12 - 11:24pm
ridic

Counted towards what?

Jun 12 12 - 9:33am
drakma

Towards having to be honest with the other guy.

Jun 19 12 - 7:05am
AG

Totally agree! He sounds hot

Jun 14 12 - 6:34pm
shae

Seriously, how to people write stuff like this? Was she checking her watch and making notes every few minutes? Or does she have a photographic imagination - er, I mean, memory?

Jun 18 12 - 5:31pm
Mimi

If i was her, i would of slept with the other guy. Sounded like he was pretty experienced!

She would of been able to have a comparison to her ex and actually make a mature decision about that relationships future.

Jun 19 12 - 7:06am
AG

Damn, I was expecting a super hot sex scene at the end... Gutted