Dateline: "I regret my decision to let him pick me up."
Will the adorable tiger cubs at the zoo soften our narrator on her date's bad jokes?
We're collecting stories about your most entertaining dates. Send your time-stamped dating stories to firstname.lastname@example.org; don't forget to include gender, age, and profession for you and your date.
2:00 p.m. – Date picks me up at my place. His car is clean, but he plays a mix of Kenny Chesney and Chris Brown the whole way.
2:22 – Arrive at the zoo. Date informs me that his grandma hasn't transferred money to his account yet — can I please pay for our entrance? He'll pay me back later. I agree, mostly to end the awkward conversation. It's not like I can refuse and go home — I don't have a car and the zoo is a few miles outside the city.
2:25 – Watching napping tigers. Old couple offers to take our picture; my date returns the favor and makes some cute comments about how long love lasts. I start to think I might be able to like him.
2:45 – African-American family with children are being rowdy near the concert pavilion. I smile and make a comment about how sweet family time is. He makes a joke about black men in prison enjoying sex in the shower. For the second time, I regret my decision to let him pick me up.
3:00 – Awkward silence from his completely inappropriate joke finally ends when he asks me about my family. I yammer about them while picking up the pace, hoping to make it through the rest of the exhibits quickly.
3:10 – We're near the end at the penguin enclosure. He pushes me against the fake cave wall and kisses me. His force startles me. I don't reciprocate but also don't openly reject him. The drive back is at least twenty minutes long.
3:20 – He starts talking about what we can do tomorrow, and I try to be non-committal. I mention that I have finals coming up.
3:25 – He starts asking me why I'm going to school. I interpret his questions as genuine interest until he makes a comment about women getting pointless degrees. I weigh the option of paying forty dollars for a cab to take me home.
3:30 – I convince him to drop me off at a coffee shop five minutes away, where I've texted a friend to meet me. He asks if I want him to wait with me, but I don't feel like buying him a latte. I tell him that she's just around the corner and I'll be fine.
3:32 – He seems annoyed, but hugs me goodbye then steals another forceful kiss as I pull away. He says he'll text me.
4:00 – My friend arrives and I tell her all about our date. I get a text from him asking if he can take me to dinner tonight. He says he needs to pay me back still. I send back a quick "I'm busy tonight." He replies, "I'll let it slide this time, but normally I expect my woman to make time for me."
4:01 – I tell him not to worry about paying me back. I don't see myself ever having much time for him in the future.