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6:00 p.m. – I’m barbacking for my friend Dan at an after hours event at his boyfriend’s museum. We tell ourselves we will only have one drink while we work. After all we should study when we get off.
8:52 p.m – We go back to Dan’s place with his boyfriend and three bottles of wine liberated from the museum storeroom. No studying is going to happen tonight.
10:58 p.m. – Two and a half bottles in, I try to convince Dan to come out with me. His boyfriend wants to go to bed. My powers of persuasion win.
11:05 p.m. – Dan and I hop on our bikes and head to a bar across town. The wind on my face feels divine, possibly due to the large amount of Merlot coursing through my veins. Luckily I am an excellent bicyclist when inebriated.
12:12 a.m. – I want to dance but the bar is dead. We remember it’s a weeknight and decide to go to our favorite gay karaoke bar.
12:43 a.m. – Karaoke is in full swing. As we approach the packed bar I notice someone hot eye-fucking me from across the room.
12:45 a.m. – The saintly Dan gets me a drink and I approach the handsome stranger. She introduces herself as Kayla.
12:51 a.m. – Dan returns with drinks, he has met her before and the three of us chat. She is witty and I am almost too sloshed to keep up the conversation.
1:29 a.m. – Kayla says her house is two blocks away and I’m sold. I offer to let Dan stay at my place nearby, but he wants to bike home to his boyfriend, so we part ways.
1:58 a.m. – We are making out on Kayla’s bed, playing music, when her roommate walks in buck naked and says we are being too loud. We decide to go to my place.
2:02 a.m. – Kayla throws some stuff in a backpack and tosses me a motorcycle helmet, I hop on the back of her Ducati.
2:23 a.m – We are standing in my bedroom, half-naked, making out. She is teasing me with a knife. Against all logic, I am not at all worried about this.
2:27 a.m – She accidentally closes the knife on her finger and starts spurting blood. I attempt a joke: "Not to worry, I’m half a doctor."
2:35 a.m. – We are in my bathroom trying to stop the bleeding. I drunkenly finagle an awkward bandage and think how weird it is that this isn’t going to deter me at all.
2:41 a.m. – She reveals that the backpack she brought contains a bounty of sex toys. I think I might be in love.
3:50 a.m. – Sometime in the middle of round two, she pauses to say: "We should get dinner sometime." I think it’s hilarious and agree.
4ish – We pass out.
7:30 a.m. – My alarm wakes us up, she asks me if I have anywhere to be and I say no. We go back to sleep.
9:49 a.m. – A text wakes me up again: it’s my friend asking, "Where are you??" from class. I see that the bandage on Kayla’s finger came off at some point during the night. I look around and realize that I can retrace our sex from the puddles of dried blood where her hand was on my crème sheets.
10:07 a.m. – Kayla wakes up and remarks that it looks like I have been doing minor surgeries in my bed. She says, "This hookup hasn’t exactly restored my faith in the medical community." We have sex again.
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