Because who has time to care about anyone else?
Bro, let's say you have a girlfriend you don't deserve. Since you self-identify as a "bro," the odds are high. She's real needy and clingy, like she wants you to text her and ask how her day was and generally act like you care about her. Well, bro, BroApp will do all that boring busy work for you! Just download the app for $1.99 from Google Play (it's only available for Android. No iPhones, bro), enter your girlfriend's name and number, and let BroApp do all the work. Choose from messages like "hi darl, how did you go today?," pick a time and day of the week, and BroApp will text your girl for you. If you're actually in the presence of your girl, or you just texted her something like, "do you need me to pick up tampons lol," BroApp will know and hold off on sending. We got you, bro.
But, yes, BroApp is for real, and only sort of a joke. BroApp co-creator James says that BroApp is "a 100% legit app, but we designed the marketing to be humorous." I think it's really funny as a satire of bro culture, but I don't think that's what James meant it to be. But if you say BroApp out loud, you can make a funny dipthong. Which you are, bro! You're a dipthong. But for any other bro-preneurs out there, the creators of BroApp did make a list of things they "learnt" while building the app, which is legit helpful, bro.
images via BroApp.net