Everyone Ive Ever Had Sex With

Everyone I’ve Ever Had Sex With: Male, 30, Brisbane

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Want to catalog your sex life for Nerve? Send your complete list of bedpost notches, along with your age and location, to submissions@nerve.com. Don’t worry — we won’t print your name. 

Kim
She was my first, but I wasn’t hers. We were fourteen. Every Friday a bunch of us would go to this park to hang out and get a little drunk. It was a big, mixed-gender friendship group and all the girls had kissed all the boys at some point. Eventually we started to sexually experiment with each other. One week, Kim, who I’d kissed a couple of times previously and who’d once let me touch her breasts, decided we should have sex after a long, flirty conversation that we’d been punctuating with sips of cheap cider. It was against a tree, it was uncomfortable, and it was terrible. We were in a short-lived, immature relationship afterwards and haven’t seen each other since finishing high school.

Charlie
A few months after Kim, I had sex with Charlie in the same park, but not against a tree this time. We did it on the ground, in a clearing amongst some trees. Less uncomfortable, less terrible, but I think I came after about thirty seconds. Charlie is a tall, curvaceous girl, and I was a skinny guy, but we had great sexual chemistry, and she eventually became the first girl I was able to bring to orgasm. We got together every now and then for maybe the next four years, but stopped once we got into serious relationships. We are still good friends, though I live on the other side of the world from her now.

Panna
I met Panna at a party the summer holiday after finishing grade eleven. She was a pretty British Bengali girl in the year below me, and I found her sitting on a bed when I went upstairs to use the toilet. She drunkenly threw herself at me, and we fucked there and then while everyone else was downstairs. She was the first person I ever went down on. We fucked again later at the same party, on the floor of a different room while another couple were trying to sleep. The next day she got insanely angry at me when I told her I didn’t want to be with her, but this was before mobile phones were ubiquitous so I was able to ignore and avoid her fairly easily.

Michelle
My first ‘holiday romance’. I went on a family holiday to Spain when I was sixteen and met Michelle while playing table tennis in the resort. She was black, from Birmingham, and had the best body I’d ever seen up to that point – shapely and athletic, with beautiful breasts. She approached me in her bikini and we played table tennis for a while, and I was hard the whole time. We arranged to meet on the beach that night and had underwhelming, sandy sex. I remember being worried because I didn’t come. She flew home the next day and I never heard from her again.

Liz
The first girl I fell in love with. We were seventeen when we got together, but had been in the same class since we started high school and had kissed a couple of years before. She was beautiful, smart, witty, and she broadened my literary, musical and artistic horizons. Our sex life was poor. She gave great head, but was quite peculiar about intercourse, and only let me go down on her once. She didn’t like to take her bra off because she was insecure, and would often kill the mood for me by commentating on what was happening. Despite this I was obsessed with Liz, and was incredibly jealous in this relationship. We argued a lot, and after nine months it ended badly. We still share our high school friendship group, but rarely speak to each other.

Kirsty
My rebound girl after Liz. She joined our school in grade twelve and I immediately found her attractive. She was popular with all the boys, so it was to my complete surprise when she kissed me at a party one night. We started seeing each other soon after, but the sex was infrequent and clumsy, and I soon learned that she was quite a shallow person. She started seeing someone, an older guy, behind my back, and I was pretty upset. I still occasionally masturbate to the memory of her beautiful body.

Kate
I had a part-time job at a jewellery store and was sent on an errand by my boss to get some office supplies from a stationery store down the road, which was where Kate worked. While I was queuing up to pay for my items, another customer approached me with a piece of paper on which was written a phone number and a kiss. She had been sent over by Kate, a pretty petite girl with dyed red hair who worked on the checkout, and when I looked over Kate winked at me. I was astonished and turned on by her forwardness, and straight away went to speak to her. We arranged to meet that same night. The most sexually active week of my life followed, but I had to end it because she was simply too intense. She had already begun talking about marriage and kids! I had only just turned eighteen. I felt vindicated because she turned very nasty and kept pestering me for weeks afterwards. A shitty ending to something that had a sensational beginning.

Laura
Laura was an incredibly sultry girl who somehow became the person I would chat to every weekend at the local bar/nightclub. We were fuck buddies for a few months, but I was still in love with Liz and ended our arrangement unskilfully. She was the first girl to give me a handjob while I was driving, and made the sexiest noises when she came.

Theresa
The first and only girl I ever cheated on. I met Theresa a couple of weeks before starting university. She was the best-looking person I’d ever met up till then, and we made a promising start to our relationship, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. I had a one-night stand with someone else once I’d moved away, so I ended it by phone shortly after. I was honest with her and told her what I’d done. She took it really well, with dignity, and I felt like a complete bastard.

Unknown
The girl I had a one-night stand with. The first time I’d had sex whilst on drugs. I can’t remember anything about it except that she’s the only girl I’ve been with who squirted.

Emily
Emily was 24 and from Canada. She lived a few doors down from me in our halls of residence and was probably the most confident person I’ve met – very vivacious and talkative and hyper-intelligent. One night she arranged a ‘slumber party’ in her room and invited the whole corridor to come over. Five of us turned up. There were two sets of couples, plus a weird guy who didn’t talk much. We all had to go in our pyjamas. Emily was flirting outrageously with me all evening and had arranged my sleeping bag next to hers.

The weird guy left early, but everyone else stayed, with the possibility of an orgy left open. When the lights went off, we lay next to each other and she guided my hand down to her crotch, where I could feel that she’d torn a hole in her pyjama bottoms and was really wet. I was so hard, and in the dark we helped each other to come with our hands while the other couples were probably doing the same. An orgy didn’t happen, and we didn’t have sex until the next night. For the next few months Emily and I were together until she went back to Canada. We emailed for a while but are no longer in touch.

Christine
Over the summer holidays after my first year at uni I worked in London in an office. I went out one night with some colleagues and ended up at a nightclub where Christine approached me. She was an American-Taiwanese girl and she told me I looked like a cross between Justin Timberlake and Jude Law (which might have been true at the time but is sadly no longer the case). We kissed for a long time on some sofas, and eventually I said I wanted to take her home. She didn’t want to have sex that night, so she took my jacket as a way of guaranteeing that I’d come and see her again another time. I drove to see her a few days later, and we fucked in my car three or four times: once or twice in broad daylight; the remaining times in a wooded area at night. We texted a few times after that but never met up again.

Abbie
The second person I fell in love with. Abbie was a gorgeous girl who I met in my second year at uni. We had a passionate relationship to start with, and I would say one of the best in bed I’ve ever known. We would fuck three or four times a day in the first couple of months, and towards the end of our relationship a couple of years later, even though we knew it was nearly over, we were still fucking every other day or so. She would come really hard, and I absolutely couldn’t resist her whenever we were lying next to each other. A shame that it ended because I still occasionally desire her, but she was very jealous and our frequent, loud, drunken and often public arguments were our undoing.

Izzy
I knew Izzy because for a while she’d been going out with one of my friends. She broke up with him around the same time as I broke up with Abbie, and we ineluctably ended up in bed together, which I felt bad about because my friend was pretty devastated when he and Izzy broke up. We hooked up a few times in total, and I was attracted to Izzy not only because she was good-looking but because she was an amazing writer. I think we both felt too guilty, however, so it was a short-lived affair, and we soon lost contact. I regret this.

Unknown
I moved to London a couple of years after graduating and met this girl at a friend’s fancy-dress party. She was dressed as a Sherlock Holmes. Towards the end of the night when I was pretty drunk she cornered me in the kitchen, kissed me hard and grabbed my crotch. We found an unoccupied room and fucked until dawn. Once she’d taken off her outfit I found that she had spectacular breasts, and she sat on my face while I licked her and grabbed her buttocks, which gives me an erection just thinking about it. I have no idea who she was, because she left before I woke up. I asked around, but no-one could remember her name, or who she came with, and despite some assiduous Facebook stalking, I could not find any trace of her.

Julie
Julie was 31 and from Paris. I was 23. I met her at a party and made her laugh when I told her all the French I knew, which was about eighty or ninety words. She came back to my flat and we had slow, languorous sex, and she was very sweet. Neither of us came. She was recently divorced and was only in London to visit her cousin. We never contacted each other again.

Gemma
I met Gemma online when I was 24 and we were pen pals for a while – about six months. She lived in Australia. I became addicted to writing to her and hoped to meet her one day. She eventually came to England to visit some extended family and we decided to meet. We were very nervous, but we hit it off and are still together. We have been for nearly 5 years, and now I live in Brisbane with her. Gemma is beautiful and cute and sexy, and I’m in love with her. We are very compatible, and have a strong, deep bond, probably because we have the foundation we built when we writing to each other before meeting.

Our sex life is still pretty good, in that when we do have sex it’s passionate and spontaneous. It doesn’t feel routine, and we make each other come every time. It has naturally become a less frequent occurrence, but at the moment, I feel ok about that. I’m looking forward to seeing Gemma when she gets home from work, because I’m feeling pretty horny right now. Let’s hope she’ll also be in the mood…