Everyone I've Ever Had Sex With: Female, 21, Canada
"Looking back, I think we were both just nervous and didn’t know what we wanted out of one another."
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Incredibly dashing and charismatic boy whose smile seemed to rest on the lips of every girl in the city. We ‘dated’ for two weeks and when he finally got it in with the help of a cherry flavored condom, he lit a candle just before the deed went down. We may have been listening to Radiohead or Tom Waits. I don’t remember much else; at least I had virginity out of the way.
My high school’s hottest jock. We spent the summer after he graduated sneaking around our neighborhood fucking and blazing and not having a single conversation worth repeating.
My first "real" boyfriend. Whip-smart and beautiful and far too motivated for my just-graduated-high-school hazy mind. I wanted to smoke weed and he wanted to become a cultivated filmmaker-artist-musician-chef-carpenter-martial-arts-master. The sex was decent at best but we made up for that by doing it very often.
An old family friend and what had been my first kiss that I must have had a few leftover feelings for. The sex was terrible but at least it happened in a tent overlooking the ocean after a long evening of singing around the campfire and holding hands.
At seventeen I went to Europe with my best friend, and not a few days after claiming I would likely never have a one night stand, I went home with a sweet but kind of pompous rich London boy. It was his birthday, his house was massive and had a recording studio, he ate me out while I was on my period and in the morning I met his mother.
Budding musician, golden goof. I would bop around his then-sparsely populated shows and we’d go have sex in his bedroom that was actually a water closet, he’d light a cigarette in the dark even though the room was windowless, and we’d cuddle as tightly as possible 'cus the heating was out.
I showed up in this guy’s bed one night because I was bored and lonely over the never ending raincloud existence of the city. We went on a few dates but I would generally just show up at his place late at night stoned as a rock and unwilling to roll another to share.
A prolonged affair that started drunk out of our minds on whiskey on our mutual friend’s leather couch, until the sun rose. Then we went out on the back porch and fucked more. The rest of that summer was filled with similar events. He was sexy like a god is sexy and was always a little drunk and belligerent; we had a good time.
That same summer’s other fuck buddy. He was kind of an asshole but the chemistry was there and the sex was mind blowing. Though we had a lot in common the conversation was always stilted and coded. Looking back, I think we were both just nervous and didn’t know what we wanted out of one another.
Danced with him all night to old school R&B and walked around the city holding hands and chatting about transcending time. He was someone that I would walk past in my neighborhood for years previous to then and wonder about because of his hip-length blonde hair, huge beard, squinty green mischevious eyes, and high-pitched voice. I saw him at the same bar the next week and went back to his loft that was filled with classical Japanese art. The sex was ok but the hair was weird – I had a shaved head at the time and his kept getting caught on just about everything.
Hands down the worst sex I’ve ever had. We went on a few dates and ended up back on his fold out couch at his parent’s house one night. He didn’t know what rhythm was, mentioned that he might have peed in me, and asked why I was getting on top “like you’re the guy.” Then he said stuff about child porn and bestiality and I never talked to him again.
He bought me flowers after a bike accident left my face looking wanting. We hung out every day for weeks and finally hooked up one night in the back of his shared studio. Such was the beginning of a very long and irritating miscommunication spiral, but the sex was sweet and awesome.
Called me out of the blue insisting I meet him on the beach late at night, even though I’d only met him once or twice before. He gave me a dead person’s silver retainer (he used to work at a crematorium and had a collection going) and took me out for wine. We spent the few weeks before I moved away bumming around drinking more wine and watching foreign films, and one night had sex in the tree house in my parent’s backyard while listening to Pere Ubu.
Bored and desperate living in a new city with old friends, he ended up in my bed after a night of drinking in my living room. Big ego with not much to show for it, but our friendship seemed more sincere afterwards.
Aaron B’s best friend. He would also show up in my bed after nights of drinking, but it went on for a few weeks instead of just one night. Biggest penis I’ve ever seen but he didn’t seem to know what to do with it, or maybe we just had no chemistry.
Second ‘real’ boyfriend. We would eat fancy brunch, be socially awkward, get into arguments about the Western notion of the self, and stay in bed for days. He spoiled me and I thank him for that. The sex was great but our minds were pointed in very different directions.
The roommate of my best friend’s boyfriend. This was a nice end to a long day of doing shrooms at the beach and all over the city, and I feel terrible that I can’t remember his name. He brought me juice in the morning and I haven’t seen him since, as I left the city that same day.
Met him one night at a show and immediately felt attached; he was a total sweetheart who knew how to make anyone smile. It got too real too fast — I really liked him and he had just gotten out of a long term relationship – but the few times we had sex, it was great.
Him and his ex-girlfriend and musical partner watched me eat pho alone one night from a table across the restaurant, and he told me about how cute it was at a show a few days later. On New Years, we were both in a different city at a show they were playing; we all took MDMA and had a great night. Back in the first city him and I started hanging out every Saturday drinking whiskey and dancing to Aphex Twin in empty rooms and making out like mad. The sex was fabulous, and when we happen to both be in the same city, it still is.
He was the only late comer to the bush camp we were living out of while tree-planting, and I was immediately interested in his 6’7” gentle giant existence and unwavering eye contact. We moved into the same tent a week or two later and spent the rest of that time having awesome sunburnt sex and watching fireflies and lightning storms.
Our first conversation was about his foot fetish; his unwavering honesty and humor and general babeliness moved me to give him my number. The first few times we had sex seemed off, like we didn’t know each other well enough. Not much later he moved a half a block away from me and we became quasi-inseparable. We decided at one point to just be platonic friends until the sexual tension broke like a waterfall. Now I’m waiting patiently for him to return from a trip to see where we both stand.