Love & Sex

Everyone I’ve Ever Had Sex With: Female, 24, Sydney

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"He usually lasted a few seconds and then went silent and self-loathing."

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He was one of the only guys I knew with a tattoo (tribal) and piercings (lip, nose and eyebrow). He had dyed black hair with a red streak and a shitty yellow Hyundai. He ran his hands all over my body and said, "If I was blind, this would be heaven." For a summer we explored each other after school and took showers together before his dad got home, then spat watermelon seeds at each other and drove around in his car listening to bad metal.

We only hung out on Friday nights and took turns going down on each other. He had a huge, bent one. It lasted five months.

The first time, his breath smelled like the devil. He was surly, cheated on me, and called me a cunt one morning when he thought I was asleep. But over that year we got perfect at both coming at the same time, and the theme tune of Scrubs reminds me indelibly of the comfort of lying in his messy, dark room. I still have a pair of someone else's pink socks that I found in his bed. I was blind.

He was a skinny ginger virgin and I was younger than him. Still the only guy I slept with during the semester I lived on campus at college. I left a pair of underpants in his room. I reached behind and grabbed his balls while I was riding him and asked if it felt good. He said, "not so much."

He was my housemate; he lived downstairs. We drove around trawling the council pickup together once, and every time I bent over to pick something up he said I was driving him crazy. He put his hand on my thigh in the back of our other housemate's car. Our first kiss was in the garage surrounded by spare furniture. My other housemate saw my bra in his room, but never connected the dots because he slept around so much. It only happened a few times, but I became intensely paranoid every time I heard him moving around the house late at night for a few months.

I had a crush on him for years during high school when we worked together at the supermarket. He was the short, pink-cheeked produce manager and we had great chemistry. I finally hooked up with him in a sleeping bag on his friend's floor when I was home on uni holidays. I was so drunk I don't remember much, but I think he went down on me. I got kicked out of the pub that night, and sent a terribly auto-corrected message to my semi-boyfriend back at uni: "ha, ha, I got licked out."

Jake's best friend. Sadly, Jake knew about this event and didn't care. We smoked pot on his pirate-themed bunk bed and laughed our way hysterically through an entire John Williamson album. He had a giant stuffed Very Hungry Caterpillar. He didn't take his pants off at all – he just pushed them half down and then pulled them up again as soon as we were done. His phone kept ringing and he kept ignoring it – the name on the screen was Holly but he told me it was John. I walked home after midnight, across the park I used to play in as a kid.

Only fun because we both knew we shouldn't, and Naylor and my other housemates saw us come in and go straight to my room. I was trying to avoid dating his friend Josh at the time, and he was terrified of him finding out. I wrote a poem about a half-memory of possibly kissing him one time I was high. He asked, "How long have you wanted to kiss me?" I was honest and said, "At least two weeks.'" He looked shocked, so I said, "I mean, since I met you, baby."

We dated for over a year. Almost every time we had sex we were both high. Well, he was every time. At first we had to do it two or three times a day, but then after that stopped, he usually lasted a few seconds and then went silent and self-loathing. He had a mental breakdown, quit pot and we broke up.

We worked together and his girlfriend was overseas. I kissed his neck in a bar and whispered in his ear, "Nobody will ever know." I took him home twice, but we never actually slept together. I thought about it a lot though, for a while. We woke up to the sun streaming in the window and a Sia song that still haunts me.

He liked to be bitten and grabbed, hard. He was able to keep going after he came, which was brilliant.