Tristan

I remember hanging out with Tristan for a few weeks during the summer and being unable to wear shorts. Why couldn't I wear shorts? Well, Tristan somehow managed to be so aggressive in bed that my upper thighs were constantly in a state of black, blue and yellow. He also managed to bite my inner calf so hard I had the most ridiculous bruise from it. I didn't enjoy my pants-wearing summer, but it could have been worse.

Matt

Wasted at a house party, this sober "angel" let me sleep in his bed. His roommates were a couple who tried to get me to have a threesome with them, I tried to pass out and instead gave a pathetic performance in bed and wished it never happened.

MMFF

My first multi-partner experience. I made jokes at the bar about an orgy and a close friend of mine was determined to fuck me with her strap on later that night. She called her boyfriend over and I called over the most recent boy I fucked. Before I even made it in my door, I tried to call it off because I was so drunk. Not a second later, we were leaning against my house and she had her fingers down my throat to make me puke. It worked until I realized how comfortable my bed was and I just wanted to sleep. She had no problem keeping me awake though after she started fucking me. Finally the boys came over and it was a lot of stimulation going on, and for some reason mainly on me. The boy I invited over got really overwhelmed and I ended up taking him to another room to finish him off. If anything, I think I just did this for the story.

Patrick

While in town visiting, I mentioned to my friend that I jokingly wanted to be set up on a date. She took this seriously and in an hour, I had a handsome prison guard show up to her door. She had left for the evening and said I could do whatever I wanted to in her room. We hung out on the bed and decided to just have sex, after a few pumps we both started laughing and realized we couldn't do this. We were both attracted to each other but the whole situation was so ridiculous- it really killed our mood.

Matt

I love working in restaurants and making friends with the cooks. It would always result in delicious snacks and eye candy. Matt and I had a great work relationship for a while that escalated to outside of work hang outs. This situation made me realize how oblivious I am to my surroundings that are the opposite (or sometimes same) sex. At this point, you'd think I would understand what it means when someone says I can sleep at their house instead of trek home. But no, I never got it. We slept together and after him pressing me to hang out again, my delicious treats and eye candy turned into hungry work shifts and side eye.

OkCupid Round One

Mike messaged me on OkCupid saying he was new in town and wanted to hang out with someone like me. I didn't understand what that meant, but went with it. He made me meet him really south of the city and escort him to a restaurant of my choice. I should have known the date was going terrible when we split the bill and the server ran the wrong bill on my card. Instead, I went back to his house for some coffee and decided to stay over. He was very forward once in his room and immediately stripped both of us down. After we had sex, we were looking up images on his computer when I noticed he had photos of me saved to his desktop. I made my exit after thirty minutes and never spoke to him again.

OkCupid Round Two

This photo-hipster messaged me asking if I wanted to make last minute plans. We exchanged a few messages, flirty texts and met up for a drink the next night. He invited me back to his schoolhouse turned loft apartment and wanted to make it clear he doesn't sleep with people on first dates but that I could sleep over. After getting into bed, we fucked for two hours. I had work in the morning and slipped out of bed quietly. He recently added me on Instagram, so I don't think there were hard feelings.

Adam

He took me on an amazing dinner date and to the casino. During the night, he asked me if he could photograph me with his bikes in different positions for him to hang up in his bathroom. We started making out while I was playing Kitty Glitter and decided to leave immediately. Without speaking, we bolted for his front door and left piles of clothing throughout his apartment. The night immediately halted when he said he only wanted to fuck me in the spooning position and it lasted for less than 6 pumps. We never went on a date again but he recently was in town and begged me to visit him in his hotel. I declined his offer.

The Vegas Hat Trick + 1

I guess what happens in Vegas, doesn't stay there. In under 24 hours, I managed to wake up in someone's bed, make my way to another, fall asleep in a third and invite someone to my room the next morning. I think we should leave some mystery to these four however, the overall experience was memorable and nothing I ever desire to do again. Vegas, baby.

Joe

I flew out to Los Angeles with the promise of a Disneyland on the horizon. We had been talking for months prior and time was really on my side with this one. I arrived and we immediately had a 3-day relationship, with unlimited amounts of PDA and sex. I finally got my Disneyland with my pretend Boyfriend and when I got out of his car to go to the airport, it was a mutual understanding that this is where the magic stopped. We still talk every few months, I wouldn't change what we had for anything.

Dan

If you've ever accidentally dated someone without realizing it, you'll understand what happened here. We hung out 3-4 times a week when I was new to New York City and he was my adopted tour guide. Little did I know, we were going on dates and when I let him sleep at my house one night- I found out the hard way. He made an advance and by that time everything came together, how did I not figure it out sooner?! I slept with him and while he was inside of me, explained that we could never be more than friends. He claimed to be okay with this, but I lost my tour guide after this night.

Ian (2)

I think we met on an online forum, where we discussed being pen-pals and living extremely close. We talked online for weeks and I found out he had a baby and with that- a baby's mama. There was mutual sexual attraction and we ended up sleeping together while he was at work one night. Things got complicated with the baby's mama and I had to exit the situation.

OkCupid Round Three

Before I moved to NYC, this person messaged me on OkCupid with hopes of going on dates in the future. Somehow we exchanged messages and texts over the course of a year before I even made it to NYC. When I finally got settled in, I met him for a few drinks at a terrible beer and pizza bar in Brooklyn. He asked me if I wanted to come over and I agreed, we finally made up lost time and had sex after he made me listen to terrible synthesizer music he made. He still texts me two years later to come over and play. I don't see this happening again.

Kent

I would marry Kent, if he asked me to. He is an ideal husband who works hard, studies hard and knows basically everything about me. We used to live in the same city for years and after my terrible "Second Long Term Relationship", wanted to date me. I wasn't ready for it and we remained close friends. After moving away, I was in town for the night visiting and stopped by his house. We were both single at the time and he started kissing my neck. He took a video of me giving him a blow job and decided to fuck me. The night was ruined when he pulled his dick out and realized he was covered in blood, which didn't come from me. There was a lot of confusion and we decided the timing just wasn't on our side. We still talk and have a pact to get married in our 30's if we are both single and lonely.

Tom

I admired Tom for weeks before making any sort of advancement towards him. Had I known how easy he was, I would have definitely made a move early on. The first night we slept together was after hours at the club he managed, in the women's bathroom while I was bent over the sink. We slept together over the course of the next two years and had the best fuck buddy situation I have ever been in. It was always strictly business. We are still friends.

Seth

We were set up on a "blind" date through a mutual friend of ours. We both shared a love for Rom-Com's and bikes. We met at a really shitty Brooklyn bar and had small talk for a while, then he decided to kiss me. We made out for a longer than appropriate time in public and decided to head to his house. Now, I think of shower sex as something you do in a relationship but for some reason- this was a regular non-relationship thing we did every time we fucked. He was obsessed with my tits and I didn't hate his dick inside of me. It worked for a while until he freaked out that we were becoming too "domestic".