Being too horny is an emergency!
Everyone's been there. We're drunk, lonely, and horny. We pick up the phone and reach out to someone we shouldn't. But instead of an ex or a hookup of questionable character, 58-year-old Maria Montenez-Colon of Punta Gorda, FL called 911. When a police officer arrived, he attempted to explain the proper use of 911. But Ms. Montenez-Colon didn't want to hear about that. She propositioned him, telling him he's "sexy" and rubbing all up on him. When he refused to have sex with her and left, she called 911 again. Calling again was the only way to get him to have sex with her, she said, which is the same logic from that story about the psychopath at the funeral.
The reason she had called 911 in the first place to try to get back her Corvette, which she had signed over to her stepson after her husband died. She told the reporting officer that she hadn't had sex in ten years. The story from News Channel 3 doesn't mention when her husband passed.
Montenez-Colon was arrested for misuse of 911 and booked into the Charlotte County Jail, proving that maybe there really is a legal limit for dry spells.
Image via mnadi.