My boyfriend pampering me or taking me out to dinner is less important to me than him having a job to anchor his life, to give him — and us — the stability we need. As we wait to find out where his new job will be located, we're in limbo. We could wind up in Florida or Michigan or North Carolina, and the job market is such that he would likely take a job in any of those places. It's unsettling, but I love him, and wouldn't want to place limits on where he considers working. I'm certainly not going to try to find a new boyfriend. If we're in it for the long haul, I'm not going to start looking for someone else at the first sign of trouble. I'd rather be with someone who forges through the tough times than with someone who simply gives up. Seeing how he's coping with the situation — he has good days, and bad days — has taught me that he is resourceful, creative, and willing to compromise.

The most humbling aspect of his unemployment is precisely that there's little I can do about it, aside from sending any job leads I see, and baking brownies. Frankly, I hate that; I'm one of those people who wants to fix things when someone I care about is going through something difficult. That I can't is a good lesson in the one prayer I genuinely believe in: The Serenity Prayer. Accepting the lesson that I can't change things for him save for being a good listener will be useful if we are going to be together for the rest of our lives.

I don't mean to downplay the importance of money; it's something I think about every day as I try to figure out how to juggle my bills. I want to have kids, and I hope that when I do, I don't constantly need to race to my mailbox to see if there's a check inside that will allow me to feed them. But my feelings for my boyfriend are separate from his earning potential, and I hope the same is true on his end. I wish I were bringing in more money, and if I'm ever in a position where I can support us, I will gladly do so.

The only times I've felt like his unemployment might doom our relationship have nothing to do with the fact of him being out of work and everything to do with his attitude about it. When he starts to feel hopeless, that trickles down to me. Obviously, I can't predict what the future holds, but I do believe that thinking positively radiates out into the world. Even the site that commissioned the study concedes that it's also about attitude, because 42% of women would consider a date with an unemployed man "as long as he had a plan for getting back on track." In the meantime, he's been doing more cooking, another arena where his resourcefulness comes in handy. He enjoys it, and I hardly feel deprived. If we can get through this, we can, hopefully, get through anything, and learn to support each other in ways that go far beyond money.

Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) has edited over 40 anthologies, including Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Orgasmic, Spanked, Bottoms Up The Mile High Club, and is Best Bondage Erotica and Best Sex Writing series editor. She writes widely about sex, dating, books and pop culture, and blogs at http://lustylady.blogspot.com and http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com