Love & Sex

How to Have a Sex-Proof Makeup Routine

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Avoiding the post-coital raccoon eyes.

I don't even wear that much makeup for the average woman. Like, sometimes I drag a smear of mascara through my eyelashes for 20 seconds and consider it a "night look." But even I know the humiliation of a post-coital vampiric lipstick streak down my chin or the sudden realization that my NARS bronzing powder has completely ruined my host's cream-colored pillow case. Let me be clear: You in no way need to be wearing makeup to enjoy sex or look sexy, ever. There's no direct correlation between liquid eyeliner and sexual satisfaction. I'm just saying if you happen to find yourself in the sack (perhaps unexpectedly) with a full face on, it'd be sort of great if you didn't come out of it looking like a "Step in Time" extra from Mary Poppins. Which is why the subreddit MakeupAddiction had some super helpful, surprising, and specific tips for creating a sex-proof makeup look. Here's what we learned.

Sweatproof Everything

If the label says "waterproof," "smudgeproof," or "sweat proof," you're going to want to invest. Sex is a rather sweaty endeavor, and you're going to want to have your look stay in place. Some suggested brands that won't wash off as you perspire: Kiss Me Heroine Mascara, Estee Lauder Dermablend Foundation, and Stila Stay All Day liquid eyeliner.

Use a Setting Spray

Something about a setting spray seems very teen beauty queen, but it's a surefire way to get your makeup sex-proof. Redditor Toke-ahontas admits: "Try Ben Nye Final Seal. Disney characters use this in the parks to keep their makeup in place all day. Once you spray it on your face, nothing is going to budge. And it's loads cheaper than Urban Decay." Listen, if Snow White is looking this put-together in 90-degree Florida humidity, it's probably worth trying. Theater kids know their stuff.

Go Minimal

Some people suggest if you don't want your makeup to smear during sex, then simply just don't wear makeup. As Redditor Dbzitm says, "I don't wear more than eyeliner and mascara. And that works well for me." Wearing the bare essentials will keep you looking fresh even through the sweat and positions. Plus, literally no makeup will transfer onto the face of the person you're kissing.

Hold Your Brows Down

There is a look I like to refer to as the Peter Gallagher in which every hair on my eyebrow suddenly become errant or sticks straight up. I often get it when I first wake up. Sometimes I get it after sex. To combat the Peter Gallagher brow, there are awesome shellacs that seal in practically all your makeup — eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, and yes, brows. One great line is Beauty Genius which will hold your brown penciling and your wiry hairs in place.

Leave the Falsies at Home

If there's one type of beauty routine that absolutely wilts during sex, it's false eyelashes. Redditor Shrimpfriedrice recalled the time her falsies fell off during sex and got swept up in her hair. Oozing hair adhesive is not a good look. Plus, those things are expensive. Save them.

Pick a Lipstick that Won't Fade

Rookies might want to just skip the lipstick and lipliners, because they're going to come off with extreme makeouts. But some ladies should keep an arsenal of blow job-and-cunnilingus-proof lipstick. The brighter the color, the better the staying power. Redditors appove of Armani Rouge Ecstasy, NYX Butter Lipstick , Seophora Cream Lip Stain, and NYX Matte Lip Creme.

Make Your Face Transfer-Proof

Redditor Visualism suggests a patented process for your face. First, use your primer (like Stay Flawless by Benefit), then set that with liquid foundation, and then set it with powder. It will make your foundation waterproof and transfer-proof. 

Stop Caring

When all is said and done, maybe you should also stop caring what your makeup looks like when you're fucking. After all, the makeup smears are also part of the fun and sex is about way more than what your face looks like. Stay flawless.

Image via Flickr.