I Did It For Science by Grant Stoddard

To achieve orgasm via the Aneros massager.

State your hypothesis in the form of a prediction that can be verified by the results of the experiment.

I'm an absolute beginner when it comes to bum play — and a little squeamish, to say the least. But according to the makers of the Aneros massager, the ultimate orgasm is to be found back there. At the very least, this experiment will either prove or refute my friends' claims that I'm a tight-ass.

Please list all the materials required for this experiment (including, if applicable, how they were obtained).

Aneros massager (one)
Astroglide lubricant (25ml)

In this portion of your report, you must describe step-by-step what you did in your lab. It should be specific enough that someone who has not seen the lab can follow the directions and re-create the same lab.

I've been dreading Project Aneros for months. It's been looming dark on the horizon ever since Ross and Brian put the thumb-shaped piece of white plastic on my desk with a note saying, "Guess where this goes." Up until now, no foreign (or domestic) object has been shoved up my bum, and I was quite happy to stick with the status quo.

The Mongoose and I, while still very much together, have decided to move out of our shared apartment and onto opposite banks of the East River for the good of our relationship. My new living situation — and the oodles of "me" time it provided — meant that now was as good a time as any to give Aneros a test drive.

Aneros is a "male G-spot stimulator" that works by massaging the prostate, perineum and anal sphincter simultaneously. The intended result: "dream orgasm." The company's literature states that users can expect:

  • Extra sensitivity of penis, individual hair shafts, inner thighs, and nipples
  • Prickly but pleasurable sensations upon the penis bulb, shaft, and glans
  • Prickly sensations on the surface of the prostate
  • Extra pleasurable sensation deep within the prostate and perineum acupressure point
  • Warm sensation within the anal canal

I'm always skeptical about products that make these wild claims, but if I've learned anything from two wasted gym memberships and a dormant Ab Roller, it's that you only get out of these things what you put in — the phrase taking on a more literal meaning in this case. The company had already sent two samples of their product to our office, but both mysteriously disappeared from my desk. After a reluctant request for a replacement, Aneros kindly obliged, and sent along a smaller prototype intended for greener arse-ticklers like yours truly. (It's about the size of a large man's thumb, rounded at the tip and tapered at the base.) Intending to follow the complex instructions to the letter, I lay on my side, lubed up the smaller of the two massagers and began to explore virgin territory.

Quantify the effects of the experiment.

Getting it in's the hard part. It felt like going to the bathroom — backwards. I'm sure that feeling of No. 2-ing in reverse can be gotten used to — but can one actually enjoy it?

"When the Aneros massager is fully drawn into the anus, you will initially feel the pressure of the foreign object. For best results, wait 10 to 20 minutes. The prostate will accommodate the Aneros massager and the foreign sensation will begin to alleviate."

This is actually key. After several minutes, the unwanted-guest feeling slowly subsided and, heck, it actually felt pretty good in there. I read the directions during said waiting period, slightly yet pleasantly aware of the massager's presence.

But after awhile, I lost patience with the instruction manual — which read like an unabridged copy of the Talmud — and I decided to go with my instincts and what I'd gleaned from the web site. The idea is that with some practice, you can reach orgasm just by squeezing your sphincter, without even touching your penis.

After about ten minutes of serious squeezing, I was totally tuckered out and starting to feel a bit silly, what with the toy's handle protruding like an albino ram's horn from between my cheeks. I admitted defeat and rolled onto my back to bang one out in the old-school fashion. Lying on my back must have shifted the position of the toy, because I almost dropped sauce immediately and had to concentrate hard not to. When I came shortly thereafter, the feeling was much more intense than normal. It started as kind of a strong pulsing, originating from my perineum and traveling up the shaft of my old chap. I started to wonder what was achievable if I weren't so slapdash about the whole thing. A friend of the Mongoose once told me that anal sex was "okay" — apart from the dismount. "It's like a really fun house party," she explained. "But then everybody leaves all at once, and you're left alone, like, 'Where'd everybody go?'" As I removed the Aneros, this made total sense. I felt vulnerable, delicate, a little light-headed and empty. I looked down at the massager and was relieved to see that it was clean as a whistle. I think that's typical. Otherwise, why would they make them in white?

Summarize your findings. Don't forget to attempt to identify possible variables that could result in different findings for others trying to re-create your test results.

Despite this being my most-feared assignment thus far, it was ultimately the only one I'd revisit on my own time. (If only I could be knocked out for the insertion and removal.) Stripping was a fun experience, but injaculation, cock rings, and kissing a man didn't bear the fruits of this four-inch piece of plastic. However, let it be noted that Aneros is a masturbatory commitment, not something that can be accomodated during a commercial break. Private time, lube and concentration are an absolute must — and required in large quantities. Perhaps the most important prerequisite is a sense of humor: dare I say that I give it a thumbs-up?

© 2002 Grant Stoddard and Nerve.com, Inc.

Commentarium (40 Comments)

Apr 10 02 - 1:58pm

Well written, very funny and titillating! At the risk of sounding tawdry, I

Apr 10 02 - 4:26pm

I want one! I've tried a few butt plugs (including vibrating ones), a couple of vibrators, fingers, and fruit (hasn't everybody tried a banana at some time???). I love the tickly feeling and heightened sensations.
It's nice to know I'm not the only bloke to enjoy a bit of bum play every now and then. I hate the gay and "that must hurt" connotations that go with anal sex and anal play. I'm glad to see Grant had the courage to try it, and admit to liking it. :)

Apr 10 02 - 4:46pm

Grant, you should try using it during sex with a girlfriend. One of mine put me on to having a small anal vibrator on and in during sex and it was amazingly intense. The only drawback was having it feel so good that I couldn't contain myself and finished way before she did. But, she thought that was good and would only "allow me to use it" on certain occassions.

Apr 10 02 - 7:58pm

Great article! While it was entertaining reading, like another reader, I found Grant's science project a bit of a turn-on. My husband and I have both experimented with back-door fun and have found it an interesting treat from the norm. After reading this, I may surprise him with a little gift...

Thanks, Grant!

Apr 10 02 - 9:48pm

ohh im a bit turned on myself by that a man doing this is a turn on alone i love it when a man isnt afraisd to touch himself!!!!! thanks for the fantasy now i have to go indulge

Apr 11 02 - 9:53am

Did you actually stick a man made polymer up your ass for science? If that company wouldn't have sent the promotional product to you, would you have eventually used another readily available tool or even person? Your story sounds a bit contrived. It reads like the typical; I was scared then dissappointed then extremely satisfied story used to get children to eat vegetables or go to the opera. What you do with your anus and a mouse-like probe is your business, but leave Einstein's field out of it.

just my humble, tight-assed opinion

Dec 12 11 - 11:01am
Joe M

enuf, sounds like someone's not getting enough... and it's not Grant. Whatever; if using other men as proxies for suppressed issues is what does it for you, have fun.

Apr 11 02 - 10:18am

Hey Grant! Pardon my protruding bulge, but your experiment quickened MY pulse! Aneros, here I come! (no puns intended)

Apr 11 02 - 10:50am

Written with finesse. Nicely done Grant!

Apr 12 02 - 10:55am

Hey! I wanna try it...!!!
I did some search on the web and found one at www.malegspot.com... and another site (www.highisland.com?) that sells almost exact duplicate. Where can we get one of these things??? I know you don't want your column to be a product endorsement... but given that you've given such a high mark, it *might* be a good idea to inform us as to where we can purchase one (online, please)... so that we can duplicate the experiment... all for science, of course.

If Aneros is as good as you say... I think I'll take down my personals ad...!!!! :-)

Dec 15 11 - 5:29am

Google, anyone? Please, you can buy these things from just about every single sex toy website ever. Did you even look?

Mar 17 12 - 12:41am

Amazon has some.

Apr 14 02 - 6:53pm

Way to go, Grant! Next on your list: Auditioning to be a porn star?

It would be hysterical.

Apr 15 02 - 4:11am

Thanks for trying it and telling us you liked it. I am all for science in such matters. I tell people all the time that there is so much to learn about sex. There is not time to learn it all, so we need help from our friends who find new information and approaches.

I think it was very important what you said about allowing enough TIME for it to achieve the results that were reported. I have used the "WAND" to achieve the same results..when a man is willing to let a woman show him new tricks. I had my hand blown by friends who is a glassmaker..out of pyrex glass. All the others are made out of acrylic.

I love it when a man is floating about 3 inches off the sheets when the orgasm takes over his body and he growls, thrashes, curses, and begs for it not to end! Keep up the good work for the enlightenment of all man KIND.

Apr 19 02 - 12:00pm

I love the scene in Road Trip where the nurse 'milks' the guys prostate at the sperm bank lol. I've had gf's masage my prostate with a couple of fingers while giving me a bj. It was so damn intense I thought my prostate was going to implode. And it would last sooo long too. I would still be having aftershocks like 2 minutes after. I do suggest laytex gloves though.

Apr 23 02 - 11:28am

Oh! Grant! Don't stop!!! PLEEEEZE hahahaha! Interesting point though -- I've enjoyed some of this with my partner. Keep it up! Er, no pun intended...

May 04 02 - 1:47pm

Hey man your story sounds like what I was hoping for when I
ordered Aneros. I've not had much luck and I feel I've done
just what the orders said. I know I must be missing something and that is why I keep tuning in and reading what
others have to say. If you've any positive input please drop
me a line now! Thank you much for your time,

May 18 02 - 2:50am

Just wanted to say thanks for a perspective that I could relate to. I was sheepishly investigating the Aneros online, and came upon your article. I appreciate the humor, honesty, and insight.

You've convinced me to try it!


Aug 16 02 - 4:50pm

You ask "I'm sure that feeling of No. 2-ing in reverse can be gotten used to

Feb 05 07 - 12:41pm

The whole point for such experiments is for you to FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS! You can't commit to the experiment and then skip steps! What if you had skipped something essential to the proper functioning of the toy? What if you got only half of the experience that way?

Jun 16 07 - 4:47am

Gay---altho not very into back-door sex for myself---I bought the Aneros. The first time was a " build up for a let down. " Nothing new happened. The second time was similar, but I believe that there is a POSSIBILITY that this massager might introduce a man into pleasurable new realms. One great thing about masturbation: its certainly qualifies as safe sex ! Straight guys need to know that anal enjoyment does not " make them gay. "

From a man in favor of tolerance.

Oct 08 07 - 1:41am

thank you

Mar 22 08 - 12:06pm

This was a most interesting review of an Aneros prostate massager. You are to be commended for tackling it so seriously, and still keeping your sense of humor. I'd say, if you can keep your sample, that you'll build your tolerance to insertion, and find that you look forward to it.
Though the packaging and reviews speak highly of the Super-O, I have yet to experience one that I would call that. They talk of hand's free orgasm, but I find I always need some help, either from Mr. Hand or from my wife. So the truely tantric experience remains ellusive.

Please consider giving us an update if you continue your experiments. Your progress might be very amusing if not even enlightening.

Sep 06 08 - 12:55pm

The sheer comedic writing kept making me pucker in various waves of anticipation! Hilarious and informative. There is just no way of explaining this tactile invader sitting beside your suit and tie or dirt riding gear and boots!

So I hope these ideas help the typical manly male cope with girlfriends, spouses, or immediate family.

"Uh, it's for cleaning sludge out of your car's tailpipe. Improves fuel flow and gas mileage!"

"It's one of those really, really high tech thermometers... and I have really, really bad allergies."

"I have no idea what it is, I ordered a new fishing lure!" Hopefully my buddy will buy the line and say, "Holy Shiite, you're gonna need a big mouth to swallow that!" Heh.

"I decided to pursue that ear, nose, throat graduate program."

May 27 09 - 3:01am

Actually I read this and thought to myself, you are trying too hard.

The thing that made it work for me, was not trying at all and instead focusing on relaxing totally. Its a strange balance and mental state you need to be in. I always feel like im starting to flip inside my body and lose my sense of position in space. Thats usually a signal that its going to start working. You need to crack the code yourself though I think.

Oct 21 09 - 5:10am

i tried massaging my prosate with my finger over 60 or more times and now i got the aneros and nothing works, what do you do to make it work? squeeze your butthole together like your holding a piss and for how long? the instructions dont make sense, they use huge words.

Dec 28 09 - 11:29pm

Insomniac Girl, shut up. He didn't try something "that gets pushed on girls". This is a heterosexual male sex toy, not an exercise in self-humiliation or "gender bending" for the gratification of bitter girl-women who're afraid of men. It's for men who want a great, heterosexual orgasm.

Jul 04 10 - 7:00pm

"I'm sure that feeling of No. 2-ing in reverse can be gotten used to — but can one actually enjoy it? "

Really? I guess the millions of homosexuals who do it . . . they must not like it.

Jul 24 10 - 12:38am
Thomas K

My first session with the Helix...felt useless at first but started to feel some really intense sensations as I learned to strengthen the contractions. Never made it to a hands-free, but when I ejaculated the old fashioned way (with the hands) WOW was it amazingly intense. So looking forward to getting better with practice!!

Aug 28 10 - 10:33pm

now I'm incredibly hot and bothered.

Sep 25 10 - 7:11am
Miss Foxy

I am so fortunate to have a most sensual, sexy, fun and adventurous good friend/lover that I have ordered him an Aneros MGX while he is away. ( so hoping his parcel will be met with surprise and eagerness to try it ) I havn't found one negative testimonial thoughout the internet and it makes me smile to read how much men are seriously getting into ( and out of ) their bodies with its amazing capabililities! We were talking 'botty' play recently and we both know that there is something in/out there that we have yet to find..could this be it? Lately our get-togethers have been preceded by foreplay in fun sexy emailing, perhaps arranging to watch a movie (all the way through) not porn but enjoying the moment of togetherness and knowing we may ( or may not ) get it on...
Relaxing and time certainly is the key and of late I'm convinced that if I'd had this little gem called Aneros in hand it would have blown both our brains out!
I for one am so looking forward to his return... Oh yes! :o)

Dec 14 11 - 8:07pm
Still not convinced

Well, even after reading this article and many others, i'm still not convinced that this whole male g-spot thing and "Aneros" is true....i cant find any scientific studies conducted by any neuroscientist that say it exist or work.

Of course, i do hope there is truly a consistent method, drugs or whatever that can really enable a female orgasm in my male body...sheesh, how come we orgasm so poorly?? I admit this issue really frustrates me for quite a long time already, as i still trying my best to accept this fact daily (i'm serious here!) and love all women for their blessings...may God really help me to accept and appreciate this difference...bcoz its driving me nuts!

Dec 19 11 - 12:09am
Barely There

SNC - I totally understand, and to be fair I was entirely skeptical as well.

It's been about 2-3 years since having 2 different versions and while I still consider myself an amateur, there are 2 distinct perspectives I take from it all.

1 - I *KNOW* with some more time, effort, lube and patience, I could "get the big O" that is mentioned in every article that I've read with it. I've almost gotten there several times, but never quite been able to pull it off (disappointingly I might add) as some other users have stated. Again, close but not quite.

2 - It's absolutely true. There's been a lot of discussion in general about male sexual health, and I've read a few times about things like prostate massages and milking for older men, whom have needed some sort of release. While not entirely the same thing, there's been a lot of research proving that it's almost "key" to good male sexual health (Having a healthy prostate)

Anyway, what I'm getting at is this - While I've never had the big-O with the Aneros (again, 2 different kinds, and not for a lack of trying) it DEFINITELY has made mastrubation and sex a lot more... short. I mean intense. Normally, 20-30 minutes for sex is pretty average for me (Not including foreplay) but using this toy... we're talking only a few minutes. The whole section about additional benefits are absolutely correct.

But if you're still skeptical, why don't you just try it?

And why do we orgasm so "poorly" (Though I still debate I've never had a poor orgasm) is that evolutionairly we're designed to "get in and get out" as fast as possible. Purely from a reproductive and genetic standpoint, we're supposed to spread our genes as quickly as possible. Combine that with less-than-open-minded men, homophobia, etc. and our special little spot can be hard to find or find documentation on.

Either way, I still just suggest you give it a try. At best, you'll be amazed. At worst, you'll be out... 60$ and a few hours of your life that you could have spent doing something else. (Sounds like a night at the casino for me - being out 60$ and a few hours of my life I could have spent elsewhere lol)

Jan 17 12 - 9:03pm

Try the "Progasm" after you get re-programmed by the Helix, you won't regret it.

These are also fun for couples' play. The Missus notices the difference...

Feb 15 12 - 9:45pm

hi there everybody. i don't write very often. but I read as much as I can on the web to learn more about the protaste orgasm and on all the know how.

i would say the greatest feeling from an aneros session is a pleasure fulfillment. more pleasure than you can take. and a final ejaculation where you feel Wow!its to much

Today i'm so connected ( on surface and inside ) that action starts almost after insertion. i have bought all
models of aneros and some do better for me but all do the job. there all worth the investment for sure.

its worth spending time and beeing curious

good days


Sep 05 12 - 10:33pm

Ray...I agree completely that it can be more pleasure than a body can handle but going past that limit is well worth it.

Mar 19 12 - 6:40pm
John Paul

I don't have a prostate any more but I do have the problems that go with removal. No hard on etc. I am hoping the aneros is going to be the answer to a bum virgins prayer. Otherwise what is left?

May 17 12 - 2:11pm

OMG jajajajaja I love you!

Aug 23 12 - 11:44pm

Even though I have not experienced the big "O" I tried using my aneros progasm with my wife an hour ago. Not experiencing anything with the aneros aside from getting super horney, I decided to f**k my wife with the aneros still in my rectum. It definitely gave me a more intense orgasm with stronger and longer spasms than normal, so I guess it wasn't a total waste of my time and money.

Sep 05 12 - 10:25pm

I've been using the Aneros for just over a year now and I must say the first several times i didn't have any luck. Not one to give up I continued until I had my first orgasm which was a very intense experience. I could feel it building inside of me and when I finally had the orgasm waves of pleasure ripped through my body that continued for several minutes. After the feeling subsided I relaxed and took in some deep breaths and waited to see if I would have another. After about 8-10 minutes I could feel another one building deep inside of me. When the orgasm hit full on I was completely lost in pleasure. My body shook uncontrollably as I was overcome by another intense orgasm. When the orgasm subsided I was completely exhausted. And very happy. Since then I have had many more mind-blowing sessions with my Aneros. I've had days where Ive used it for 30-40 minutes and other times where I have used it for many hours. One of the other pleasures I've received from my Aneros is incredibly erect, sensitive nipples that come from the waves of pleasure after several hours. I wasn't quite prepared for that but I'm very happy that it happens. Ive had a couple of times though where my nipples had become so oversensitive that I had to stop stimulating them because it is just too much for me to handle. Fortunately that hasn't happened very often and I'm able to work my nipples over for the whole session. Maybe I've just been one of the lucky ones with my experiences but I would definitely recommend the Aneros to everyone.