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October 7, 2009
For her part, Jenny tried to help, shifting and adjusting herself so that I didn't slip and break her nose with my forehead. She didn't say much, which was a kindness on her part, but there were a few giggles that she couldn't contain. Maybe for straight guys it's more intuitive, but let me just say — this was work. Oddly enough, we never thought to switch positions (perhaps because the pause might cause the entire experiment to come crashing down), but in hindsight it might have made things simpler. There was another problem: over-compensating for both my nerves and my homosexuality, I'd had too much to drink, which wasn't helping my performance. I needed reinforcement, and so I reached into the second drawer, the one I'd hoped was the most innocuous when my friends dropped by, and pulled out a stack of Honchos.
I fully admit that I'm not proud of this. I tell myself now that at least I didn't place the glossy pages right over her face. (In truth, they were just to the right of her face, on a pillow.) Not only did I know that this could've made Jenny feel especially unfulfilled, but I felt like I was sneaking out a sheet of equations during a math test. It helped me get through the experience, but it certainly didn't help me learn any math.
"Sorry about this," I said to her from above.
 Over-compensating for my nerves and my homosexuality, I'd had too much to drink. I needed reinforcement...
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She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Charming," she smirked. Actually, she was in surprisingly good spirits about this whole thing.
After pumping away ineffectually for a while, we both agreed that this probably wasn't going to work. I knew there was no orgasm in store for me, and definitely none for Jenny. But I felt bad — after all, she was the one who volunteered for my bout of sexual experimentation. She should get something, anything, out of the experience. And so I tried my hand, literally, at giving her some manual pleasure. I don't know what I was expecting (maybe some kind of bell to go off when I actually touched her clitoris?), but for lack of better ideas I sort of moved my hand back and forth, then in small circles, intending to repeat ad orgasm. This lasted all of one minute.
"Okay," she said, pushing my arm away. "Listen, you put in a good effort. I think we should call it a night." And with that, she put her clothes back on, grabbed my remote, and started channel surfing.
Conclusion:
I didn't fail at this experiment, but I'm not sure I succeeded. In the strictest sense, I did have sex with a girl. Since I am a guy, it was heterosexual sex. But simply achieving that outcome wasn't quite mastering the spirit of the endeavor. I wanted to see if I could find sexual pleasure with a woman. It's not that it didn't feel okay, or maybe even good — the physical response of a penis to that kind of motion is undeniable — but the experience lacked any sexual spark. I still think women are amazing, but that didn't translate in the bedroom. I'm sure many of you have heard this before, but I truly mean it: women of the world — it's not you, it's me.
The next morning, Jenny found the night more humorous than anything else, which would have hurt my pride if I hadn't agreed. I've had worse mornings after by far, and we both picked up a good story to tell in bars.
So I can't say I'm sorry I did it. And it really made me believe that it's probably in everyone's best interest — gay, bi, straight, whatever — to allow ourselves some flexibility when it comes to sex. It's true that I thought I wouldn't be into sex with a girl and then discovered that indeed I wasn't. But that's not so bad; the real shame would be if I actually had the capacity to enjoy it, but never bothered to find out. And that's a message all of us, especially cute straight guys in their twenties, should take to heart.
Read more I Did It For Science here.
©2009 Marc Wilson and Nerve.com
Commentarium (59 Comments)
I agree that using a condom doesn't really give you the full extent of how wonderful a vagina can feel, but with a normal condom, at least you get the basic idea. And heck, the author probably uses condoms for anal, so he's used to that. It just dawned on me, though: given the "male butt" logo on the package, did the author use extra-thick condoms, the ones designed specifically for anal sex? Those are TERRIBLE for vaginal sex. Thick condoms suck to begin with, and a super-thick condom could easily make a vagina feel no different from an anus (since you're not feeling all that much to begin with), eliminating one of the best parts of heterosex. Anal sex is great fun and ridiculously hot, but on a strictly tactile level, vaginal sex without a condom (or with a sufficiently thin condom) is close to the Platonic ideal of Nice Places To Put One's Penis. It'd be a shame for the author to go to all that effort, only to do the equivalent of going to an acoustic concert wearing industrial-strength earplugs.
Lame. Not going down on a girl during sex is like watching a movie with your eyes closed.
while the conclusion was foregone (he's GAY, y'all. condoms or no condoms, anal, oral, vaginal, mutually masturbatory, whatever, he's not sexually attracted to/isn't into bangin' chicks), the experiment itself was brilliantly executed, thoughtful, and well-written. good on ya, dude.
Did you give her a Dirty Sanchez?
nice one. bold and honest. interesting read, thanks.
After reading this, I'm petty sure the last dude I made it with is gay too
Oh c'mon now.
I was thinking something similar about an ex.
Mucho, if were a girl who'd been with a guy who acted this way, this article would pretty much just be confirmation for what you would have already suspected. >_>
Ah-hah...I hadn't...read...the full article yet...okay. Well, my ex didn't actually pull out gay porn, I mean...I wouldn't need confirmation at that point!
(I still think a dude who doesn't do any foreplay or touch my boobs is obviously gay.)
Marc, I thought this story was hilarious-- in the right way. Thanks for sharing.
Interesting article -- as a "straight guy", it's something I've always wondered as well. People on both sides of the fence are so afraid to bat for the other team that they burn their bridges before they hatch. For anyone to say that they are exclusively straight or exclusively gay seems shortsighted somehow. (You know, "says the straight guy"...)
as a "straight guy", it's something I have not wondered about, I've turned down sex with both genders, managed to remain friends. It is conceivable there is a man I would want to have sex with (top+bottom) haven't met him. I like anal sex, only have experience with female rears, have been both T&B like T a lot more.
Seems to me if you aren't hurting somebody, it comes down to what you want, which stems from what you like, experimentation, desire and opportunity all mixed in.
Did you give her a Dirty Sanchez?
dSc, please stop asking that. This is an actually well-written article, so don't bring it down.
There is no real commitment to wholeheartedness here. I see only reluctance at every step. I'm 100% straight and I think I could have better and more passionate sex with a dude than the author's half hearted fumbling with this woman.
dre -- In that case, I'm gonna have to reduce your 100% by a few points, because I was in fact surprised by how much more able to try to do this with a woman he was than I would be willing to do it with a guy. So no, you're not 100% straight.
SG: So not true. You can be 100% straight and still give gay sex a try while doing it wholeheartedly.
SG -- I think it depends on the definition. If one is completely repulsed by the sex act with a member of the opposite sex (or a member of the same sex, depending on their "starting point"), I think that is more of a mental problem. I'm not saying that homo- or heterosexuality is a mental illness. I am saying that a failure to recognize academically that the sensations experienced through a physical expression of sexuality that differs from your own can be pleasurable demonstrates and ignorance or intolerance that runs deeper than any social experiment can overcome. There are several reasons that prevent me from trying it, but they're primarily based on social reasons, not a presumed inability to experience pleasure.
So... wait. It's NOT wrong if gay guys are turned off by girls but it IS wrong if straight guys are turned off by guys? How about this: I don't fuck guys because I find the idea unattractive, if not repugnant. That's not societal, I just don't find men attractive. I have no desire to stick my dick in a cat either, but does that mean I'm being closeminded? I'm not saying that homosexuality is repugnant, but to ME the idea is as alien as bestiality.
I think you may have had a way better time had you decided to try your experimen with a queer femme top. That is, if you are a bottom. She would have taken care of the situation, made you feel like a princess and fucked the shit out of you. Straight as can be!
Correction: Perhaps you should have had sex with me!
I'm surprised to learn that nipples don't play an active role in gay sex. I'm male, and (potential TMI warning) my own can be terrifically sensitive. I could also suggest that you should have spent a LITTLE time reading up on basic female anatomy as it applies to sexual intercourse, but then there are plenty of straight men who need to do the same.
SG- The test of how straight you are is not how repulsed you are by sex with the same gender. The test is how turned on you are by those of the opposite gender in conjunction with a lack of desire for the same gender.
I've never believed that a person's sexuality could be summed up with one word.
I never thought I'd enjoy sex with a guy (I'm a girl). But I let myself try it. What did I discover?
I just like sex, good sex, in general.
Now, if you lined up a guy and a girl and asked me who I wanted to have sex with, I'd still choose the girl (after I made sure a 3some wasn't possible).
Some people like it, some people don't. We're all different, and that's the beauty of the world.
Simply put: Thank you...
I very rarely read articles all the way to the end but this was super interesting! Thx for bothering to go through that!
As a straight man with many gay friends (both male and female) this topic has risen many times. In the past I had questions about my sexuality, and even thought I was falling for a man. I gave it a shot, and much the same as our author discovered that there was something very intrinsic missing. Simply put we are what we are, and I give great kudos to our dear author for giving it a go. (Ps, my male partner found my lack of erection so amusing he actually appologised to me. Talk about embarassing. )
Thanks for showing us that the curiosity to explore does not translate to a different sexuality, just to curiosity.
NN i adore you!
Off-topic: I'd do that guy on the magazine cover, he's hot.
i like guys a lot, but have never ruled out sex with a woman. when i think of a man and a woman having sex, it turns me on as much as two men or two women. i get really interested in having sex with a woman even though i like guys more.
i guess just the thought of doing something that vbiously looks fun makes me itch todo it.
Thank you for this article! It was definitely entertaining as I have thought about sex with a women myself. I can that I am pretty odd myself because I like watching straight porn. I love watching the men going in and out of a girl, and as long as there not doing to many close ups of her face and her boobs then Im good. But I could NEVER actually do it with a girl. I have always been more attractive to men and I have more in common with men. You have a good friend there! Im pretty sure most girls would run and tell a friend.
After thinking that I was purely gay from the ages of 12 - 23, a girl chased after me for a while and I gave in. Yes, she knew that I liked boys. When the time came, she simply slid down onto me as I was reaching for the condoms (I was trying to do the right thing!). We had explosive sex. That led to a twelve month sexual relationship.
Now I know that I'm not purely gay. I am slightly bisexual. I prefer guys but I'll be happy to have sex with a nice, willing chick if she wants me and understands the situation.
I have let a few guys guys go down on me. (straight guy here). I don't think that makes me gay or bi. They put on straight porn and I just let go. There is also something about not guys. In the head. like its another dude and you don't have to worry about feelings. Just getting your dick sucked.
This is a great story. I feel like it should be published in some science journal.
The thing about it is we convince ourselves to the fact, gay men because of the years of 'finding themselves' & later defending themselves on the choice to come out & be open about their sexuallity. & straight men because most are raised hating the idea. raised to think it's only right when a penis & vagina get together. Women are actually more open to all of it, physical & emotional. Keep an open mind & the limits fade. I identify myself as a gay man. but have experienced deep attraction towards women. & have had hetero sex, i didn't mind it & tried it out a few times. not because it was great. just to see if it would be easier than the first time. I had opened my mind to it. & it was easier. it was better. I enjoyed it. I still will say gay when asked. & don't actively chase women. but if it happens to come by. I wont deny
LOL! good on you mate, I have personally tried this experiment myself, it has never actually worked out though, I just have problems actually getting aroused11110 with women ... and yes boobs are very odd :S
Definitely adopting doggy style would have made matters easier AND put the breasts into play..
props to you
Personally i am bi so i think your conclusion fits someone who is one way and no real attraction to the other and were willing to experiment to see if that would change
Kudos man
I would have enjoyed some commentary on the aesthetics of the vagina from Marc's perspective as well as what he thought about the possibility of giving oral.
I applaud you at your effort. My ex just came out of the closet (it was actually the reason why we broke up) and our sex life was okay. We both got our rocks off but there was definitely something missing and I think we both knew this. If you're not into it, you're not.
The real test is to taste her.
Well done, man! Best line "...the real shame would be if I actually had the capacity to enjoy it, but never bothered to find out."
that's why I'm asexual...
Thoroughly enjoyed the A for effort on the heterosexual intercourse, the humorous story, but mostly the clever writing in which it was told. Certainly felt a kindred connection not only to your style of writing, but also with a curiosity of having sex at least once with a girl, wanting to do it right, and especially, the idea of always setting yourself up for failure by falling for a straight male friend. Matter of fact, that is how I found your blog. I'm just googling different information about guys who came out later in life, but had sex with women...all motivated by a likely ill-fated crush on someone who is probably straight as an arrow, but exhibits some "gay" characteristics and occasionally says things to me that others would observe as flirtatious. I guess I'm just looking for information to corroborate the gay anomalies in his behavior....based on the odds, not a smart idea.
One day, I hope to learn not to play with fire. Your blog might have helped a small bit in that effort, so thanks for the great read.
Kudos to you. I've never tried it with another man but that's mostly due to my not knowing anyone who is into that. Personally I am a strong supporter of the old saying try everything once
Interesting article & experiment. First time I've read the like. Heard of a gay guy that eventually got hitched to a girl, & didn't go back. Never understood it tho. My ptnr was married to a girl, they had kids. But I've never understood how he cud perform - if he really wanted a guy...the above comments helped a little - but i still need to understand.
And how did she feel after the experiment?
As to the author's message to cute straight guys in their 20's, I have to say this - "Well, buddy, that's why Jesus Christ invented the strap-on dildo."
very interesting story, really entertaining
I think you weren't thorough enough. First, you should have tried it more than once with more than one girl. I'm not saying that you necessarily would have turned straight, but it's always possible to have a mediocre experience depending on the person, etc. Second, you needed to do more than just stick it in and hump. Break it down into categories. Explore her body with your tongue. You would have figured out the boob thing if you'd used your mouth and really gotten into them during your brief foreplay. Lots of gay guys I know LOVE female boobs.
You should have gone down on her until she came, and licked her ass as well. Really get into it, and let her give you head. Tell her she represents all women and she needs to do a great job for the team.
And I know condoms are a good idea, but if you really want to know what the female gadgetry is all about, you have to go bareback. That's hard because no sane woman should have sex with a gay guy bareback who is just experimenting unless she really knows him and trusts him. And even still probably not.
Lastly, if you're going to compare apples to apples, anal needs to be a part of it. Not only that, but she should have done you with a strap-on if you want to be thorough. Just my 2 cents.
That's thought-provoking point of view. I wanr to return to your blog couple days later.
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"Could I possibly enjoy sex with a woman?"
Not to belittle the author's efforts (or his admirable writing talents), but wouldn't the answer be a definite "no"? I mean, a lot of geighs (myself included) came out after at least one or two failed hookups with women--doomed attempts to find the "right girl for me"--and if there was no sexual spark felt then, why would there be one now?
That said, I think the point of this piece was to humorously encourage sexual exploration between the sexual binary of hetero/homo, so it's not like this was a pointless endeavor. I'd just be surprised if the author actually expected to get turned on by sex with a woman.
very interesting story...definitely enjoyed reading it...i honestly thought you'd be repulsed but at least you were open minded.
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It's my opinion that the author really shortchanged hetero sex; since he knows he's gay and has never had straight sex, why not ASK the lady what makes for good sex and take the time to explore and just PLAY.
Instead he did a cliched, teenybopper first fuck: a little kiss, a little feel, and bangety-bang.
Thanks for the interesting article. It reminded me of my super-wacky performance at my first homosexual experience.
Nevertheless, I agree with the previous post; communicating always makes things work better... especially in a heterosexual intercourse since people are expected to work with a system they may not truly know.
Great article. I have been hearing alot about married men sneaking off with gay guys. Wanted to know if my husband might be gay and what exactly a gay man having sex with a female would be like. This did answer questions. My husband loves my boobs.
Also I am totally hetero but I must say when watching porn I love watching chicks do each other. Have had the opportunity , but no . I like my masculinity through and through, The porn is all the fantasizing I need. Great article.