I Did It For Science by Grant Stoddard


To have sexual relations with "the world's finest love doll."


State your hypothesis in the form of a prediction that can be verified by the results of the experiment.

I'm guessing that, at least once per relationship, your partner will ask you if he or she is being used just for sex. Even if you're inclined to stop humping their leg for a minute and deny, deny, deny, more often than not, their gut instinct is well founded. If this is a recurring theme in your relationships with people, you might consider investing in a Real Doll, a high-end humanoid love toy that is guaranteed to love you long time or, indeed, any time. A little creepy? Somewhat degrading? Sure, but so is making nice at Thanksgiving with the family of the person you can barely stand to look at anymore.

Please list all the materials required for this experiment (including, if applicable, how they were obtained).

Real Doll (one)
Lube

Jesse
click here for more pics

In this portion of your report, you must describe, step-by-step, what you did in your lab. It should be specific enough that someone who has not seen the lab can follow the directions and recreate the same lab.

You know that one book, painting, album or play that "speaks" to you in such a profound and personal way that you can only imagine it was created with you in mind? I call this "having a Roberta Flack moment." Everybody has at least one. Many have found their life sung , or pain strummed , in the work of Salinger, Cobain or Kerouac. At fifteen years old, I was being killed softly by Anthony Michael Hall in the film Weird Science.

For those unfamiliar with the piece, here is the plot: unpopular dweebs Gary (Hall) and Wyatt face the very real possibility of dying with their virginities uncompromised. Their solution: harness the power of a 486, the Chicago power grid and a Barbie doll, and create a beautiful woman (Kelly LeBrock) to hook up with.

Although the plight of the characters in Weird Science mirrored my own, our methodologies diverged. Instead of creating a human being out of bedroom bric-a-brac, I consoled myself with compulsive masturbation and the music of Iron Maiden. It was rumored, however, that two resourceful twin brothers from a neighboring town constructed a lo-fi sex surrogate by taping a close-up picture from a girlie magazine to a ratty old cushion with a hole cut in it. Clever.

Somewhere between Ms. LeBrock and the McAlister brothers' sodden pillow, there are Real Dolls. You've probably heard of them via Howard Stern, HBO's Real Sex or dozens of magazine articles. I hadn't, and until I visited the company's website, my impression of a sex doll was an inflatable piece of tarp with a gaping mouth. I couldn't imagine the depths to which a person would have to sink to hump a glorified Aerobed with a surprised expression. If I think about it too hard, I get terribly sad, even now. But Real Dolls aren't like that. So insisted my friend David, who said that if I could get a "professional discount" on one, he would split the cost with me on two conditions: a) if he could "use" it on weekends and b) if I got one with "huge tits."

Just looking at the models on realdoll.com, I found myself incredibly aroused. Not surprising, really. At least aesthetically, Real Dolls live up to their name. If you squint a bit, it's difficult to discern whether they're flesh and blood. They're so realistic-looking, in fact, that the company produced a spinoff site showing the dolls getting it on with each other. People are paying to jerk off to inanimate objects that have been posed to look like they're fucking. If that isn't brilliant, I don't know what is.

The first question that springs to my mind is, "Just who the hell is buying these things?" It turns out I'm not the only one who wonders: that's the first question on the website's FAQ page. While the company's answer is "futurists, artists, art collectors, filmmakers, scientists, health professionals, housewives, you name it," I think a better idea can be gleaned from reading the frequently asked questions, which are frequently scary. Here's what I came up with:

Can you pull on her nipples hard without fear of tearing them? The masochistic

How much weight can the doll support? The big and tall

What if I don't fit with RealDoll's sex parts? The wishful thinker

What happens when "the honeymoon is over" and I feel that the doll is not for me and wish to return it? The flake

Do you have any rejects or used models I can buy for cheap? The pennywise

Jesse
click here for more pics

I'm a cross-dresser interested in a full body silicone female skin. Can I buy a REALDOLL skin or can you tell me where I can get a silicone female body suit? What the fuck?

Seriously, what the fuck? I don't know what's scarier: chatting to a hot chick in a bar before a hairy-ass dude unzips himself out of a woman pelt or the fact that this question is apparently asked "frequently." I'm no expert on fringe sexuality, but I've seen Silence of the Lambs, and I know that men who express an interest in wearing a woman's skin end up having bodies exhumed from their crawl spaces.

You must be a relatively well-to-do perv to own a Real Doll. Female versions start at $5,999, male versions at $6,999; custom options can cost thousands more. That's a lot of money, especially when you're probably the only person who'll ever know about the purchase. But according to the website, a great many of Real Dolls' customers don't even use the doll for sex. I've been thinking about it, and I could only come up with one economically viable non-sex use: being able to ride in the carpool lane. In the state of California, the minimum fine for traveling in the HOV lane without a passenger is $271. If your synthetic friend fools Ponch and John more than twenty-five times, he or she is actually saving you money. Score!

On the showroom section of the site, each model is named, and both her face and torso are assigned a number based on type. Sonya has face type 1 and body type 2. David would definitely push for a girl with a type 6 body.

With curiosity eating me like Ruben Studdard at a breakfast buffet, I got the Real Doll people on the phone, hoping to score a date with one of their girls. Although they were hesitant to let me get freaky with one of their creations, they did say I could "see how I got along" with one of their prototypes that had "been around the block a few times."

"You know what I want to do with her, right?" I asked the women on the phone.

"Well," she replied, "just be nice to her, and we'll see how it goes."

And here I thought the advantage of a Real Doll was that she'd always be up for it. I talked my photographer friend Aaron into taking pictures of me and hightailed it deep into Orange County. Aaron agreed to take pictures so long as he didn't have to see my unit.

Commentarium (130 Comments)

Jun 12 11 - 7:25pm
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Dec 29 11 - 7:50pm
I hate love dolls

I think the implications behind them are demeaning to real people, they're even given names and reffered to as 'her' or 'him' rather than being recognised as the mere playthings they are.
And I hate the fact you say that the good thing about a doll is that they're always up for it, is that really the sort of thing you'd want in a person?

May 11 12 - 11:31pm
no one

yes always

Feb 25 04 - 1:13am
ME

That has to be the creepiest piece Grant has ever done. It's about time he was put out of his comfort zone. Well done, Grant... that was definitely one I didn't see coming. As usual, great read, even if it gave me the heeby geebies. I think the next step is for someone to take a strapon to you. Now THAT would be doing it for science. Great, great job.

Feb 25 04 - 1:28am
yza

in the immortal words of phil 'the scooter' rizzuto, "HOLY COW"

Aug 17 11 - 1:35pm
Emran.kan

Emran.kan

Feb 25 04 - 1:32am
Kali

Grant, I love your writing...for me its the perfect mix of reporting, humor, and honesty. Keep up the good work!

Feb 24 04 - 7:34pm

Um. Is it me or has Grant's writing changed? It seemed with the previous IDIFS(popped some gal's cherry) and this, that he's got some long repressed machismo poppin out of his pants

Feb 24 04 - 9:07pm
GDE

You sure do have a sweet ass.

Feb 24 04 - 10:03pm
cla

the pictures along with the writing are hilarious. love the idea of anyone hightailing it to orange county. too funny.

Feb 24 04 - 10:11pm
KAC

This was hilarious, and the pictures make it perfect. Woohoo, boy butt!

Feb 24 04 - 11:23pm
SLS

This is a timely piece, considering I just discovered the RealDoll site a few days ago and whipped out an academic essay on what the 'RealDoll' phenomenon means in terms of feminism. I really don't like holding people accountable for their sexual fantasies, as mine are generally just as freaky or more so, but come on-- shouldn't you point out that Abyss Creations markets the dolls as being so very

Feb 25 04 - 12:12am
bell

Thank you for making my day. Your antics with your plastic partner made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. I appreciate your open mindedness and spirit for adventure to try things I may now consider a future possibility!

Feb 25 04 - 12:51am
cla

what SLS says is interesting, but i think s/he is missing something. nerve really could not do the kind of critique she suggests. besides, there's something to be said - a kind of worth of its own - for the slight irony both in the picture and the language. close enough, you know, and i think that's about as far as nerve can take it. there's no room for any real cultural critique that doesn't use humor, irony, or a kind of poking fun (sorry for that) at the writer himself.

Feb 25 04 - 1:00pm
wbs

I do scientific research for a living. After reading Grant's latest, I sent the following IM's to a colleague--
Brad: this is the funniest, most fucked-up thing I've read in the last couple of weeks
Brad: try to keep count of how many times you burst out laughing...
Brad: I think my count was 5

Feb 26 04 - 8:16pm
BFL

After seeing "Blade Runner" by Ridley Scott back in 1982 (set in LA around 2020) I could not imagine the idea of "replicants"--humanoids-being possible. But now I am convinced human clones and virtual humans will be here by 2020. I think this "sex doll" is a hoax but if not, then it is appalling to imagine how desperate some men are. Good God, for that amount of money I can have a great time with a young woman I can meet in a bar. Come to San Diego and see what I mean. Only a pathetic fat bore who wears sandals with socks and a lousy comb over would even consider a love doll!

Feb 27 04 - 2:02am
RH

I had no idea Grant was so cute! I propose "I did it for science: Random Internet Stranger"

Mar 01 04 - 9:49am
DC

Great, just great. This made me laugh out loud repeatedly, causing much consternation in the office and leading to me closing down all applications in case somebody thought I was looking at smut. I wasn't; this was far more fun. Good work.

Mar 01 04 - 2:11pm
ts

great article

Mar 02 04 - 2:51pm
lll

Grant, how come you weren't naked too?

Mar 03 04 - 11:04am
pr

Interesting article, and candid. The impression, however, is weird enough to question whether this isn't a good thing for males. If men are willing to hang a nude photo on a locker while in the military, and then fantasize about it, why not promote the next step, a Real Doll, of that person as a quasi-copulating companion of the real thing? Whether it would sell or not is an ultimate proposal. After all, such fantasies have been sold to men in the form of Playboy forever. Bringing a fantasy to life is what America does well with the aid of the technology and inexpensive labor of third world countries. Perhaps the price should be low enough that every male has the availability of such useful tools at their disposal for those "over the top testosterone" times, and may just be the female equivalent of sex toys. To imagine drunk males having "sex toy orgies" might be just what the fantasy world is about, and may help to define the distinction between inanimates and real persons where the additional layer of emotion is required in the engagement of real love, affection, and romance, also helping women get men who know the difference. It may even help some men in their amorous skills so they can practice in preparation for marriage. It sounds like it would be great for prison populations who suffer from extended abstinence problems; it could be standard prison issue for example, helping to manage the carnal appetites of men imprisoned for years, rather like a therapeutic device. The logic of years of marketing show that where females and males develop attachments to dolls as simulations of the people they represent, the art of play has its place in people's emotional landscape that they are willing to pay for. Taking it mainstream is a function of marketing, and whether people choose to have sex with, or sleep with, that fantasy is a personal choice. Don't dogs and cats serve the same emotional function? The range of options is considerable and the closer a match to the "real persona" the better, a.k.a., a Dolly Parton doll for example, or a Barbie? It does tend to take the concept of the Britney Speares persona to its heights and may put the problem of female objectivity in its place as the mere focus upon the salacious concept it is. For homosexual males, a male celeb? As an architectural event, it is a delight in the making to imagine that along with the sale of one or two dimensional sex, three dimensional sex would sell just as well, or even better. The combo is enticing, and for true entrepreneurs, a devine exploration in the absurd in the anals of profitmaking opportunities. Still....one wonders what amount would be required by celebs to license their appearance to make such a doll? Attaching a face to a doll never had such an opportunity....but along with that, one wonders how many celebs would prohibit the use of such false light privacy? An intrigue for the courts, for sure, would be bound to come of such a "fair use."

Mar 03 04 - 5:21pm
AHM

I have just finish my dissertation on 'the shape of things to come' A study of the History, Design and Development of sex toys. What a shame i did not stumble upon you useful contribution to sex toy experimentation earlier. Well Done!

Mar 05 04 - 10:46am
SS

Best 'I Did It For Science' yet, and I've been reading it for a long time. Well done.

Oct 15 06 - 6:22pm
J.A

hay that was a good lab it was very srangly intresting a long story short man thos silicon babes looked real wow ive never read a article like that but it was good, but hay keep up the good work take care aaron.

Feb 13 07 - 12:04am
Ak

Did you honestly pay that much for a doll? Do you know anywhere that I could find them cheaper because I am very young and I wouldnt like to pay that much for one.

Aug 02 07 - 11:01am
MARR

Crasy bastard, HAH hA! ROFLMAO
For science!

Mar 25 08 - 8:06am
cdq

thats crazy but cool in the same instance wish i could afford one!

Jun 03 08 - 4:12pm
FAC

Great article. That's all I was looking for.

Jul 14 08 - 7:04pm
JK

A funny and candid article. I really enjoyed it. Thanks.

Jul 20 08 - 11:47pm
dj

Hey I would be more than happy to do the same story with a male version of this doll or with you if you are interested?...

Aug 05 08 - 1:33am

you look like you was enjoying your self when she as giving you brain dude lol!!!!!!!!!

Aug 17 08 - 1:11pm
JJR

I'm more interested in the morality of the makers of Real Doll. Basically, I wonder if they got an order from a pedophile who wanted a doll that looked like a 5 year old girl or boy - would they go ahead and make it hoping it would keep the pervert away from the real thing, or would they refuse and report the pedophile to the police?

Aug 25 08 - 6:26pm
JM

Do you want to buy one? I will send you pictures, email me at jennomate@gmail.com.

Jan 26 09 - 9:45pm
KZ

Howard Stern raved it was The Best SEX I've ever had!" Why wouldn't you want the best sex of your life with your fantasy girl? While it is true most of the JennoMates sell over 6K. Look at the Realdoll website, but if you want to know where to buy them for $2,700? Call Keith at 512.739.5902

Feb 04 09 - 1:43pm
suf

if I want to buy doll how much will be the cost of it in Bahrain, Kindly reply me at this address : sobaray2007@yahoo.co.in

Mar 01 09 - 8:47am
b.d

where can i buy one? send me info. send me catalog. to barnydoall@live.com

Aug 19 09 - 4:31pm
FUK

i think its a great idea. how many of you buy stuff like dildos and masturbation sleaves? same thing, but more expensive from what ive seen. yes, id stick my jimmy in her janie, and every other hole shes got. when im not boiking her, id proper her up dressed in my livingroom in a chair as a deterent for when i left the house to thieves. they would look in the wndow, see her and think smeone was at home!.

Aug 22 09 - 9:08am
ZZ

Interesting subject, but the writing is pretty crappy. Eating me like Ruben Studdard at a breakfast buffet? Yeesh.

Oct 19 09 - 8:07pm
bubb

..."see my unit". i died laughing. thats great.

Dec 11 09 - 1:19pm
cew

Let me know where I can get one shes great. Hopefully inexspensive. But I will not spend 500.00 bucks. It does save a lot she doesn't eat or want to go to some wired restrant. just haveing fun and shutts the fuck up. Have a great life..

Dec 23 09 - 8:54pm
bb

"pimp Gepetto", lmao. Brilliant.

Dec 25 09 - 2:07pm
aqng

So, no actual review then? Well, that was pointless...

Dec 30 09 - 5:48am
AZ

I didn't find it funny at all for some reason.

Feb 23 12 - 8:12pm
NSOH

That's because you have no actual sense of humor

Feb 08 10 - 7:15pm
CM

I don't know how I stumbled on to this site. I felt sorry for the dummy (the sex-doll), because one, she has my figure & brown skin which is weird. . . & I would not want to be used like that. And second, my heart sinks for anyone who needs this. It is very sad & I wish you all the best. Thanks for sharing

Apr 28 10 - 12:00am
PatlaborX

Great article Grant.
If I had the money right now I would buy one. Saving up at this moment.
And hopefully in a few years we will have androids of the same vein that can have software installed that fits the owners preferences.

And yes I will use it for sex. Because sometimes I just want to release some primal lust without all the hassle of a relationship or going out to meet someone.
Would probably make it easier for me to date because my sexual urges would be already satisfied.

May 03 10 - 3:53am
Nemo

Why does this article end at page 2? Schlocky writing, too.

May 12 10 - 2:59pm
to the guy below

why dont you?...

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trip

wow, looks like you got invaded by spambots. anyway good story, i've always wanted a realdoll to be honest -- there's just something morbidly attractive about them that you just don't get with cheap blow-up junk. hell, my girlfriend even wants one. god knows why, i guess she wants to dress it up and have tea with it or something.

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Where is the rest of this article?

Jun 07 10 - 9:55pm
jennifer stewart

well it seem's that human female's are being phase'd out it's sad reall'y im from bahia in brazil and when i go home which is pretty infrequent i see so many american men their in beach short's and flip flop's not your cream of the crop gringo's mind you i have seen some beautiful american men mind you but the nasty gordo men who pray on us for sex and only sex so i can only imagine how degradign and disgusting having a sex doll in your casa may seem hey ma bring over the grill and meet cindy my plastica girlfreind yeah me

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Aug 26 10 - 4:59pm
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fuck the bitch. fuck the bitch till she cries 'ah......aaahhh.......ahhhhh........aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.....' and then make her suck ur dick 'mmhhh.........mmmmmhhhhhhh.......mmmmhhhh' and then kill her by inserting a knife into her pussy

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Aug 30 10 - 3:47am
Marina Perazic

One guy fucked sex doll here live: http://free-chat-video.com/videochat/ it looked so real as he has real girl in front of camera.

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Oct 12 10 - 4:02am
-ing-

Interesting article, and though I know many men go where men have gone before, didn't you have some trepidation about sexing up a pre-used rubber hole? Did you ask about their sterilisation practices, or who has the fun job of cleaning the synthetic concubines?
I think Real Dolls are terribly novel--have you seen the Anna Mae one? Wow.
I guess some would think a Real Doll of a dog or a mother is good because it stops the person going after the object of their desire for real, but in truth, fucking a maleable latex replica is gonna get dull and they're gonna wanna escalate to the real thing, same as how all flashers escalate to rape.
I can tell you one thing; I wish guys who honk horns at me, sleaze on to me, make sounds at me or generally stare at me like I'm rape-fodder would go fuck one of these corpse-like beauties and leave me the hell alone :)

Oct 21 10 - 2:15am
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Oct 21 10 - 1:05pm
A2Warm

What do you think?
Well I'll admit I like real women, they just do not like me at all. I guess i'll give one of these a try, if only they weren't so damned expsnsive.

Dec 25 10 - 5:31am
you jerk

Way to shame men who like to dress like women. It's not crazy, it just is. It's kind of like saying all gay people are pedophiles. Men who crossdress aren't going to end up murderers. Am I a crossdresser? No. Does that mean I have to be a complete jerk who doesn't "tolerate" people? No.

Jan 21 11 - 8:26am
Whatever...

Truly, fuck it and whatever. If a dude wants to spend all of that money to pork a doll, then who cares. I'm sure he's got his reasons and if he's not hurting anyone then all the more the reason for me to not give a shit about the situation. For sure, right?

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Mar 30 11 - 10:23pm
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Mar 30 11 - 10:23pm
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Mar 30 11 - 10:23pm
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Mar 30 11 - 10:23pm
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Apr 01 11 - 8:26pm
Xeran Gere

Great article! You'd probably love checking out www.synthoids.com it's basically a glimpse into what the future could be like. It's more on the lines of entertainment than reality but it's amazing.

Apr 23 11 - 7:25pm
Realdoll Guy

Without actual physical verifiable evidence, I don't believe you ever went through with this. I mean, come on, the people how made http://www.realdollsex.com are posting updates of sex with the doll on a fairly consistent basis. You only did one experiment and didn't post anything!

Apr 28 11 - 10:30am
seoblogst

avtor molodec!

Apr 29 11 - 7:40pm
Tauhdooda

Браво, вы не ошиблись :)

May 03 11 - 4:21pm
seomaestro

Спасибо за интересный пост

May 07 11 - 10:28am
Lianiaantique

Браво, какие слова..., великолепная мысль

May 10 11 - 7:47am
seonickname

Найс пост! Добавил в соц.закладки

May 11 11 - 3:48pm
seoblya

100% подпишусь на Вас по RSS

May 18 11 - 4:01pm
Mitshy

Great article really interesting lovin it haha

Jul 01 11 - 8:18am
sam

hey how are misty can i talk to u?

May 30 11 - 1:35am
cmsrawrr

It's probably just me.. but theres no link for the pictures..?
I mean, there's a link, but it's not opening.

Jun 08 11 - 6:34am
pdfjgsdl
Jun 12 11 - 7:25pm
1

1

Jul 04 11 - 1:18am
1

1

Aug 16 11 - 3:05pm
1

1

Aug 22 11 - 8:37am
lazer

hi Mr i have one silicon doll sed one Forrrrrrrrr Saleeeeeeee only 5o bd.any body like to buy this one??????????????????????????????????????

Aug 24 11 - 5:11pm
rtyecript

I really liked the article, and the very cool blog

Sep 27 11 - 6:04am
Enumelvenum

Извиняюсь, но, по-моему, это очевидно.

Oct 01 11 - 11:11am
1

1

Oct 01 11 - 6:46pm
GornegrofFhor

Не пользуюсь

Oct 01 11 - 8:14pm
shouctagohops

Извиняюсь, хотел бы предложить другое решение.

Dec 03 11 - 2:16am
DonHerbarni

I enjoyed this, great stuff! Stop by and say hi sometime hotels in windermere

Dec 18 11 - 10:06am
Love doll

Hilarious article, very interesting! You should probably checkout www.love-doll.org
They have got a love doll video collection.

Dec 29 11 - 7:52pm
On sex dolls

I think the implications behind them are demeaning to real people, they're even given names and reffered to as 'her' or 'him' rather than being recognised as the mere playthings they are.
And I hate the fact you say that the good thing about a doll is that they're always up for it, is that really the sort of thing you'd want in a person?

Mar 23 12 - 2:33pm
overused

At least a sexy realdoll will not take you for everything in the end, o ya there will be no end. The sexy doll will keep giving and giving and giving. No divorce, no childsupport, no cheating, no hurt, no yelling, no STDS, no loss of children, you get to keep your home and everything you worked hard for. That sounds like alot of positives. It may not be real but its better then being with someone who is out to use you or not be committed to a relationship, emotionless just like a doll.

Mar 25 12 - 2:16pm
overused

So very true how sexy they are. They may be expensive but if you think about it how much do men spend on dating or having a marrage, children, divorce, childsupport, etc. I have some friends that have spent thousands on dates and still can not seem to get a women, or thousands on divorce. Just save your money and you will get the money real fast. If people were more committed in relationships there would be no reason for realdolls. Times have changed for the worst, and that is why these dolls are selling so much. No matter where you live the only people you get to try and date are the ones that live in the same area you do, that are not already married, or taken. Then the ones that are avalible might not want to have a relationship or have there own baggage, problems, children, stress etc, which makes it harder. Then most people have a list of what they want in a person(religion, personality, honesty, commitment, height, weight, looks, money, STDS, children, how good they are with sex, meeting needs, mental issues, etc.) and so that just limits your choices even more, and if you choose to ignore your list, just to have a relationship or sex, then there is a 95%-100% chance it will come back to bite you in the butt. (Been there done that) Then lets say by some chance you do find that one person out of all that and start a relationship or get married. You now have 60%-70% chance of a divorce, or the relationship not working our, if it is not worked at everyday, weather it be needs, sickness or health issues, daily responsibilitys, family deaths, accidents, money problems, outside world influences, raising children, PMS, economy problems, depression, stress, the list could go on and on. Ya you could try the internet and longdistance relationship but that rarely works and there is no sex. I know this because I have either lived it or seen it. Just look at the divorce rates when 9/11 happend and so many people lost there jobs, or depression. Ya money is a really big one. I watched my parents almost divorce after my brother was ran over by a truck. The depression and stress can kill most people. I see these dolls as a really big turning point in dating and relationships. Alot of people are going to be threatened by these dolls. Even more when they become AI. Just read the past posts again about some of the hate torwards these dolls. Anyway sorry for rambling on but good luck to ya all.

Jul 02 12 - 2:03pm
Jack

Extremely funny article. But I'm afraid I couldn't buy a doll that costs more than a Gibson Les Paul.