I Did It For Science by Grant Stoddard


To participate in a threesome with a woman and another man.


State your hypothesis in the form of a prediction that can be verified by the results of the experiment.


Will the addition of another person make sex thirty-three percent hotter , or will too many cooks spoil the broth?

Please list all the materials required for this experiment (including, if applicable, how they were obtained).

Female (one)
Male (two)
Bottles of sub-par Merlot (two)
Heinekens (nine)
Condoms (four)




In this portion of your report, you must describe, step-by-step, what you did in your lab. It should be specific enough that someone who has not seen the lab can follow the directions and recreate the same lab.

It's Friday. I'm the houseguest of a young married couple and their baby in Los Angeles. I know exactly eight people who live west of the Hudson River, but my assignment is to arrange a threesome with a girl and another guy before the weekend is out. Culture shock is imminent.

Completely disregarding the disappointing results of last month's Craig's List experiment, I turned to the Internet for help. I discovered a website called Threesomefinder.com. Most of the listings were from SoCal couples "looking for sexy females to explore with" or "hot Latin studs" seeking "sizzling adventures with a pair of beautiful chicas." There were no ads from men seeking couples. I posted my own but didn't have high hopes. Oh, to be a horny bi female. They have the swinging world by the balls.

On Saturday, increasingly desperate, I called the handful of Los Angelenos I knew and asked for help. One offered the phone number of a gigolo who specialized in schtupping other men's wives and girlfriends for the bargain-basement price of $300 a night. I politely declined. Then my friend Brian called with a glimmer of hope. One of his college friends had recently moved to L.A.; in addition to being hot and blonde, she was apparently not averse to getting naughty every now and then. As it turns out, I didn't have to take Brian's word for this. I'd met Julia before, at a party two years ago. She'd been the hypotenuse in a make-out triangle with me and my soused ex-girlfriend.

In literature, this is called "foreshadowing."

I emailed Julia, telling her I was in town and asking if she knew anyone who could help me out. She picked up on my not-so-subtle hint and immediately began throwing out suggestions for our third wheel. I couldn't believe my luck. I've asked a number of female friends if they'd thought about being with two guys at once. More often than not, it was something they'd considered but never done, and all of them had conditions: "They'd both have to be total strangers," "they'd both have to be really good friends of mine," "it would have to be my boyfriend and a stranger."

Julia, however, had no qualms. She was gleefully leading the way into trouble. Our plan was to hit a lively bar, where Julia would strike up a conversation with a guy that we'd both agreed upon. This would be easy: Julia is as fun as she is cute, and any straight guy in his right mind would want to get naked with her. Much trickier would be the introduction of a disheveled-looking Englishman at the other end of the bar. I was concerned that some dude might grab the wrong end of the stick and assume I was out to grab the right end of his. Even worse was the prospect of rejection. "Honey, you're hot," I imagined a potential third slurring to Julia as I pretended to watch a game of pool. "But your friend over there . . . " I wasn't sure my ego could withstand that blow.

Julia was going to be the one fooling around with Mr. X, so she had supreme veto power. That's not to say that I didn't have my own hopes for what he might look like. I imagined somebody on the skinny side, stylish but not super-trendy, under thirty, fun and most importantly, into it.

I called my friend Liz and fretted about how our indecent proposal would be received. I feared that many guys would let their masculinity get in the way of double-teaming a girl. Even a few of my close friends questioned why I'd ever want to participate in a "sword fight." As luck would have it, Liz produced a candidate. Zach was a stand-up comedian who happened to be performing at a Melrose comedy club the next night. Not only was he fun, twenty-five and attractive, he had previous three-way experience.

We now had a firm plan: I would meet Julia at the club. Liz would be there with her friends; she would introduce us to Zach in the bar before the show. We'd see at least one performance from him that night.

Before leaving the house the next evening, I was nauseated from a bad case of nerves. I could barely stuff down a granola bar for dinner. After putting the baby to bed, my hosts strolled out of the nursery and tossed me the keys to the family station wagon. "Good luck with the threesome," they grinned. For a Manhattanite, the concept of driving — let alone valet parking — is utterly foreign, but I handled both without major incident. At the club, I had a beer, my first and last of the evening. Julia turned up, looking even hotter than I remembered. Liz and her boyfriend arrived shortly thereafter and introduced us to Zach, who had been sitting near me at the bar the whole time. Tall, svelte and blonde, Zach brought to mind a better-looking Seth Green, with an definite Jeff Spicoli air. I couldn't tell if he had a cock-sure swagger about him, or if he was just drunk. Liz had given Zach a casual heads-up about the situation; we shook hands and the three of us tossed around an awkward glance like it was a live grenade.

Leaving the group behind, Julia and I headed for a table. "He's really cute!" said Julia and gave my bum a squeeze. (Not a phrase I'm used to hearing when it's my bum and someone else's cuteness.) Zach was slated to perform last. During the ten or so acts — some side-splittingly funny, some bum-clenchingly cringetastic — Julia ran her hand up my leg, suggestively squeezed my thigh and even planted little kisses on my neck. She was ready to go. "Siegfried and Roy last weekend?" said one comic, finishing his set. "Now that was a fuckin' eighty-dollar ticket!" Zach was next. In addition to being very funny, he was definitely three sheets to the wind. He later told me that many comedians perform for drink tickets, and he had been redeeming his at a fair rate since around seven.

The show ended around 11:30 and we reconvened in the bar. Zach was with a large group of friends, and it was suggested that everyone meet up at a lively bar down the street. Julia said she wanted to ride with me, and as the valet grabbed the car, we kissed. "Nice wagon!" she said quite sincerely. As we drove off, I knew this was the only opportunity we'd have to talk about the threesome before things were finally set in motion.

"Um, are you sure you're okay with all this?" I asked her.

"Yeah, pretty sure," she said, gazing languorously out the window. "Are you? I mean have you thought about what this'll be like?"

"A little," I replied. The truth is, over the past year or so, I'd thought plenty about having a male-male-female threesome. Most straight guys say they'd prefer to be in bed with two girls, but to me, an M-M-F seemed much naughtier. The input-output ratio was more logical.

"What turns you on about this?" I asked Julia.

"I guess I just like being the total center of attention. Besides, I've had a boyfriend for the past year and . . . " she made a point of staring me straight in the eye as we idled at another red light, " . . . well, it's really fucking slutty. And I like feeling that way sometimes."

I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

At a packed bar on Santa Monica Boulevard, Julia, Zach and I ended up at a booth picking over a pizza that was criminally bad by New York standards. Julia and Zach didn't seem to notice. A line popped into my head: For me, sex is like pizza; even if it's bad, it's pretty good. Where did that nasty little falsehood come from? I remembered: the 1993 cinematic debacle Threesome, starring Stephen Baldwin and Lara Flynn Boyle.

After an hour of small talk about MTV, the peace of mind to be derived from pilates and rental prices in the greater Beverly Hills area, the time had come. I invited Julia and Zach back to where I was staying, just on the other side of Laurel Canyon. I promised that I would take them both back to their cars in Hollywood before dawn. As we trundled into the station wagon, Zach flopped into the backseat and passed out. He was so impossibly laid-back that I couldn't help feeling jealous. He was more like a prop than an active participant. I'd taken on the roles of team leader, production manager and designated driver, and I foresaw that this dynamic would carry on in the bedroom. I would be concerned with the logistics, the ambience, the schedule. All Zach had on his mind was fucking Julia, caveman-style. We stopped at a red light. Julia and I turned around to look at our comatose cargo. Very quietly, Julia turned to me and whispered "Yay!" She squeezed my hand and smiled as we drove up the winding hill and down into the Valley.






Commentarium (59 Comments)

Oct 23 03 - 12:00am
PL

Sooooo hot, Grant! Rock on!

Oct 23 03 - 12:45am
mom

Next IDIFS: FFM Threesome. Grant, Em, Lo and 2 Strap ons. Lets go buddy, get with the program.

Oct 22 03 - 1:11pm
123

Wow, this was so hot. Best yet. Wish I could use the same reasoning with my girlfriend, "I want your hot friend to join us as a SCIENCE experiment honey."

What a life, hope you're appreciating every minute of it Grant.

Oct 22 03 - 1:46pm
xxx

can i get julia's phone number?

Oct 22 03 - 2:09pm
ME

I can tell you that a FFM threeway is an entirely different experience than the one you had. The sexual energy is different. I'm not going to say more emotional (universalizing sucks anyway), but in my experience it was a much more spiritual event than a porn recreation. Great great job, Grant. You're best piece yet. You add heart to Nerve that it sorely lacks... and needs. Keep up the great great work.

Oct 22 03 - 2:41pm
NK

I liked this a lot. I mean really a lot. Fascinating reading and your sometimes wistful sometimes bubbling over giddy excitement really comes through in the texture of the words. The discussion of anxiety about who is pleasing the girl more had you being particularly vulnerable and was proportionally engaging. And the stuff about timing, just great. I agree with the others who say this is your best yet and I definitely think this column has improved a lot with the last few episodes.

Oct 22 03 - 2:54pm
skye

ok, I'm jealous. fuck you.

Oct 22 03 - 3:52pm
DM

Funny as fuck. I've had limited experience in the area, but it wasn't quite as successful as you so I'm jealous also.

(And I checked out your mate Brian's site - again tops.)

Oct 22 03 - 4:18pm
amv

"... while I pulled her panties over the formidable curvature of her butt."

I don't know much about women, but I do know that they don't like having their butts called formidable! No matter how complimentary you're trying to be! Ask Em and Lo! You've got some major damage control to do, man.

Oct 22 03 - 5:59pm
MM

Grant, you did it again. Just when i thought your antics couldnt go any further, you pushed on further. Keep "UP" the great work.
Mark

Oct 22 03 - 7:59pm
AM

WOW. Great, awesome. So hot. Even hotter because Grant had a good time.

Oct 22 03 - 8:57pm
mh

wow, great to read, very inspiring and Grant- i would have happily taken julia's place...!!!
i have had two "beginner" MMF threesomes and they were so fun, and as you wrote -it felt at times innocent and playful and giddy; it felt also like we were playing doctor. i think it is so normal and exciting for humans to explore and be with more than one, reading your science experiment really inspired me to go out and find two men!!!
great work!

Oct 22 03 - 9:36pm
slut

this is a fairly good read. though, it's fairly obvious that it was heavily edited. doesn't sound anything like the voice of Grant.

Oct 22 03 - 9:56pm
gfb

Wow Grant,

'bout time one worked out for you. Great story

Oct 22 03 - 10:15pm
mt

Finally, Grant has a happy ending. I was starting wonder if he would ever have positive results to report. Way to go Grant, you rock! Now get Em and Lo and those strap-ons!

Oct 23 03 - 12:28pm
efm

duuuuude. nice.

Oct 23 03 - 1:04am
dcx

Excellent piece! Wish I were there...

Oct 23 03 - 9:22am
jmj

Grant, you finally did it. I'm envious.

Oct 23 03 - 9:57am
SL

welcome to the club mate. i've done mmf and mmm and live in hope that one day i'll meet two nice girls so i can say i've collected the complete set. you make me glad i'm not straight... you guys have so many hangups, teehee. just go with it grant - suck some dick. if you and julia ever make it over my way i'll be happy to help you out, heh.

Oct 23 03 - 10:47am
--sj

yeah, it was a nice change of pace for Grant to have a "happy ending", but he still says he might not do it again. Oy! I'm sure some folks read this column to get a taste of what they aren't sure they'd ever do, but it's so hard to figure out if there are possibilities when Grant is constantly wigged out or not thrilled by what he's doing.

Oct 23 03 - 10:57am

wow - you guys are really studs???

Then how come neither of you made her COME???

Same old shit, just a different day!

Oct 23 03 - 2:38pm
ml

Oh my god. This is the hottest thing I've seen on Nerve in a long time--like, years. Must be the fact that there is more sex taking place than highly affected neuroticism.

Oct 23 03 - 4:50pm
gf

would have been hotter if the researcher would have swung both ways!!!

Oct 23 03 - 6:25pm
JRM

There have been so many great "Did It" columns. This clearly ranks as one of the best. WOW.

Oct 23 03 - 6:48pm
SHBD

Quick story about my own mmf threesome. I'm a guy and my male best friend (call him Dan) and I loved to go clubbing in the DC area. One night we went out with a female co-worker of mine (call her Sharon), got fairly soused, and we showered her with non-stop affection. As we 3 walked home together, we stopped on Key Bridge with serious tension in the air. I kissed her passionately. Dan kissed her the same way. I kissed her again. Next thing you know, we're all back in our apartment on my bed. I'm praying we can take things to the next level, so I kiss my way down Sharon's tummy and make the move to start performing oral. She lets me. Whoa! So I give her the best I know how, feeling the need to impress both her AND Dan. Thinking I'm a total stud, I look up and see my roomie with his c*ck in her mouth! Severe jealousy ensues. But I quickly surmise that it's all good. Sharon finishes Dan to the sound of my slurping. Before she could wipe her mouth, I'm unbuttoning and whipping it out. She somewhat reluctantly begins to pleasure me, and then Dan tries to mount her. For some reason, he can't seem to make it work (he's too tired? she's too dry?). Sharon doesn't seem too into swallowing two guys' seed in one night, so I wind up giving her an unintended facial. We all collapse. My roommate and I are UNbelievably psyched. Like, floored. Suddenly (and awfully) she is seized by tearful regret. I ask if she's ok, and she says through sobs: "The only reason I'm ok... with what we did... is that I know you guys... care about me." Ouch. The rotten thing is, at that point, we mostly cared that we'd had an experience we only watched in porn. Felt terrible that she felt so bad. And seeing her in the office for the next few months before I quit was miserable. But looking back, I wouldn't trade that night for the world.

Oct 24 03 - 7:31am
Homo

you are getting so quare

Oct 24 03 - 2:19pm
Cat

Um, Grant. I need to change my underwear now. Thanks.

Oct 24 03 - 2:21pm
TC

OMG, Best ever. What the fuck are you going to do to top this one? You rock my world.

Oct 24 03 - 2:23pm
j

Oh, I came alright!

Oct 24 03 - 5:28pm

Great! But come on now, where's the bit about how you and Zach did your part to give Julia at least one orgasm? That deserves at least a paragraph, assuming it happened. If it didn't, shame on you! That should have been priority Number One.

Oct 25 03 - 12:26pm
dk

Having recently been the F in a FMM threesome I can say you definitely captured the sprite of the experience. There was a lot of giggling and few "dude"'s and sex for the sake of sex but in a fun, "is-this-really-happening" way.

Oct 25 03 - 8:14pm
JDK

Loved it.... Such a hard job you have. Did you end up with the Girl ?

Oct 26 03 - 8:51am
lct

i lost my virginity in a lesbian threesome when i was 17 and haven't looked back since...excellent piece grant, oh, and nice work too.

Oct 28 03 - 1:27am
eva

this was actually sexy. Makes me realize, there really isn't much on nerve that turns me.

Oct 27 03 - 3:48pm
bk1

two comments, in order of importance: (1) why was no mention made of julias orgasm? this exclusion speaks loudly of how both of the men feel/felt about it - thats its not important enough to care about or even compose a single sentence for. sad, sad, sad. (2) just now i read, back to back, the excerpt from Intrique by adam thirlwell and this IDIFS piece by grant. the piece by grant is much hotter.

Oct 27 03 - 7:45pm
CDR

Before I finally met the woman of my dreams and married her, I had several threesome escapades. One was a MMW episode and after several drinks, food and sharing a bathroom and shower (seeing ourselves in the mirror was a real turnon) after meeting at a nude beach. We did some light S&M (tying up wrists, playful spanks, using our cocks as a vibrator) before I did oral sex on the woman as she slowly took her mans cock as he stood at the foot of the bed, her hands massaging and spanking his buns. The climax was her on top as she took his cock, licked his balls and came as she slid back and forth on my cock, her fingers digging into my chest as she let out a loud "God, I love to fuck, love it, love it! She kept her heels on the whole time and was very proud of her natural perky tits, the nipples rubbing against our chests and buns.

Oct 27 03 - 7:58pm
MD

Although most swinger ads do not include single men, I am one lucky guy who has been propositioned by several couples after a night of dancing and drinking. One very attractive couple invited me to their place to watch his woman and me dance naked, as he sat and watched while masturbating. She put on a show for us as she struted around in her heels and a crotchless thong. I was to not have intercourse, but she gave me the best blow job ever, as she kneeled in front of me on the sofa as the boyfriend watched and rubbed her beautiful creamy buns as she teased, licked and then took all of me before I came. I do not need Viagra when I recall this episode!

Oct 29 03 - 1:13am
DF

I think it's inferred that at least one of these lucky bastards got Julia off;

"I regained my composure by convincing myself that I had set the groundwork for Julia's increasingly orgasmic-sounding squeals."

in any case it's really about *Grant's* experience, not anyone elses. Sterling work, fella!

Oct 29 03 - 1:14am
Bab

So fucking hot! That is all.

Oct 29 03 - 1:20am
JIU

If you decide to do a FFM at some point, I happen to know two very hot and interested girls. By the way your friend Brian's site is almost as funny and debaucherous as your columns. From Jealous in Utah.

Oct 29 03 - 4:07am
js

Grant, I live in Cali and I would have volunteered! Damn, I'm so jealous!

Oct 29 03 - 6:32pm
321

Honey,

I've got a great idea for the coming weekend!

Oct 29 03 - 8:35pm
DLG

An MMW experience without any emotional involvement worked for me. I met the couple in a club and after a few drinks and making out with the woman with her boyfriend toying with her, we showered, enjoyed a few drinks and then the naked fun began. We had oral sex and she even took both of our cocks in her mouth before the guy let her mount him as I entered her from behind on top of his cock. It was mind blowing as we got her off several times (light bondage, spanking, her nipples rubbing against our buns and cocks). Even now my girlfriend loves to hear me bring it up. Check out many amateur pornos with MMW and the ever hot WWM. Two cocks rubbing together with the woman in charge is a real turnon for many women!

Oct 30 03 - 2:52pm
EGM

Fantastic! Grant well done ... I like your attitude. I've seen things like this fall apart pretty quickly, but Kudos to you and Julia (and .. errrr ... what's-his-face). Question ... how does Julia feel about it now that some time has past? Ready for aonther MMW ? Tee hee give me a shout if so LOL ;-)

Oct 31 03 - 10:24pm
ka

christ, that was fucking hilarious. you're a great writer - i laughed my ass off.

Nov 17 03 - 12:29am

I enjoyed reading this. Next time, I think the experiment should raise the stakes ever so slightly and move beyond the model of 2 het couplings and go for a threesome that moves in all directions. Having been the F in a MMF, I have to say that watching two generally straight men enjoy each other was the hugest turn-on of the whole event

Jul 17 07 - 12:14am
MNM

For the first time in my life I was involved with two men and I am still smiling from the event Saturday Night. This was not planned but fell right into place and was the most amazing experience I will ever have. Two men wanting and waiting to be with you is the most errotic experience EVER. While one is thrusting inside you and the other licking your niples, WOW! is the only way to describe this! I would do it again only with the same two guys.

Nov 23 08 - 7:30pm
tee

You are brave , bro. I canna even pee with a dude next to me. To be honest, I think I would feel like I'd have to kick the shizz outa bra in order to be the victor and claim the prize. ..That is total caveman mentality which is what what sex brings out in me. Must have the genes succeed!

Oct 15 10 - 8:14am
Lucy

Sexy. I just have to say, as a woman seeing a straight man that is willing and wants to have a threesome with another man is pretty hot. Every guy wants a girl-guy-girl threesome, and sure that can be really hot.... but it's like.... typical. So this makes you a lot more sexier than most guys, specially the guys that want FFM threesomes just because it's more unique and different and it shows you really do have an open mind. And a tip for guys... if you want us to be kinky and have an open mind you have to be kinky and have an open mind too, like Grant! Be more like Grant! Grant is the sex! <3

Oct 15 10 - 8:14am
Lucy

P.S. Awesome work. It was funny and sexy.

Nov 14 11 - 4:42am
chonny

My wife patti and I once fucked a girlfriend of hers that my wife used to fuck in high school her name was linda one night we were drinking and talked linda into playing strip poker once we had her naked my wife started fucking around with her pretty soon patti was eating linda's pussy right there on the kitchen table . Linda was panting like a kitten and loving it , Linda looked up at me and said " let me suck your cock while youe wife eats my fucking cunt" ! I took out my rock hard 6 inch dick and Linda swallowed the complete thing ,all the way to my balls and kept it there untill I come in her mouth . She swallowed every drop and then went strait for my wif's pussy . They ate each other out untill I finally got a hard on again and then they both sucked me off and licked my ass hole . I came the second time and they both slurped it up It was a great night for all of us and we still get togather every chance we can . Linda has a daughter Missy and she is 19 now My wife wants to fuck her so bad and if she ever does we will try to do her too , just like her mother .

Dec 18 11 - 11:27am
Kmfuaztw

comment5, Tadacip, greuqk,

Dec 18 11 - 11:50am
Bsrhqtxe

comment1, Order Tadacip 20 mg online, %(((,

Dec 18 11 - 12:11pm
Jlsvzjtr

comment2, Tadacip Cipla, 131,

Dec 18 11 - 12:31pm
Vfpbcedf

comment4, Purchase Pills Tadacip 20 mg, lfu,

Dec 18 11 - 12:53pm
Tpollmlp

comment1, Buy Tadacip 20 mg, >:PPP,

Dec 18 11 - 1:14pm
Dmplialf

comment5, Purchase Pills Tadacip 20 mg, 010473,

Dec 18 11 - 1:35pm
Prghkkqi

comment4, Online Buy Tadacip, 9914,