Would you say that your embarrassment stems from the fact that there are naked pictures of you on the internet, or from the fact that they're there because you did something shitty?
It's embarrassing because there's nude pictures. Ahhhh, I hate to even think about it. It's not as bad as it could be; it didn't get crazy around here where I live, like her photos did. But it's been bad enough. I don't give my name out to new people when I meet them. I give them my first name and sometimes I make up a fake last name.

You said when you did this to your ex-girlfriend, they got posted around a lot where she lived?
Yeah, I don't know if it was by email or text, but they got passed around person-to-person a lot.

Do you think this would've been worse for you if the same thing had happened to you? If people you were close with saw the photos rather than strangers?
If it happened like it did to her, it would be much worse. If it went all over the Valley, yeah, that would be horrible.

Are you actively trying to do anything to stop revenge porn?
I hope there can be some laws against it. I just got another email today that my photos are on a site that I've never even heard of. And they just keep posting more and more and they keep making money off of other people's humiliation and it's not right. I've been signing the petitions, which aren't getting much steam, and talking to the people who are running EndRevengePorn.com, and some of those sites. What upset me was that all of these sites just talk about the women victims. But there's plenty of male victims too who are just as devastated, so I'm trying to change that.

So you're focusing more specifically on ending male revenge porn?
Well, either. It's just that every time you hear about it, you hear about it like it's a women-only issue.

But don't you think that's partly because a large majority of revenge porn is of women?
Yeah, that's true, that's definitely true. But at the same time, there's millions of pictures of nude women on the internet. If some guy saw a picture of a naked woman, he'd forget about it ten minutes later. 

They're usually up there for sex appeal or whatever, and then everyone forgets about them. Whereas with some of the guys, it's posted just to embarrass them. They're there just to be laughed at. I don't think they're as forgotten as quickly. I don't know, I think it can be a little more humiliating for the guys.

I mean, either way, it's non-consensual distribution of nude photos of someone, so just because there are more photos of naked women doesn't mean it's worse for men. On an individual basis, it can be equally humiliating and detrimental to your real-life relationships.
Well, I mean, there's just so many revenge porn pictures of women, they become forgotten, the individual women. You see one girl and another girl and another girl and you don't remember who you've seen.

Well, you said earlier that most people find your pictures by Googling your name, and if that's the same for women, I would say the humiliation would be equal.
That's true, that's true. You're correct there.

Plus, there's still lots of pictures of naked men on the internet. I can't imagine you're that recognizable. How often would you say you get recognized?
I don't know, it happens too often. Too often. I was surprised by it...

Like weekly?
Yeah, yeah probably once a week or so. Three times a month. I'm trying to make it all go away.

But don't you think to some extent you won't be able to make it all go away?
I have wasted a lot of time. Maybe I should just laugh it off, but it really bothers me.

If you can recognize the extent to which this can bother someone, why do you still harbor this intense anger towards your ex?
Well I didn't post her photos on the internet, like they did to me.

But pictures of her still ended up on the internet.
Yeah.

So, last thing, would you like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to your ex for initially spreading photos of her? Maybe we can end this today.
[pause] I…I…the way I see it, I mean, we're even I guess. I mean, I've already said it a couple times, I definitely regret sending them.

Um, is that an apology?
Yeah.

Names have been changed