Love & Sex

If You Mock the Russian Government, Someone Will Put a Giant Wooden Penis on Your Car

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Dick move.

Russia: the world’s Florida. Last week in Moscow, Katya Romanovskaya found her car in unusual condition. Specifically, somebody had strapped an enormous wooden penis to the windshield.

The delicately defined veins in the shaft, carved from a single tree trunk, are apparently the work of a Ron Swanson-caliber carpenter. Katya ultimately enlisted a tow truck’s crane to remove the (much) larger-than-life package, which weighed more than 200 pounds. 

This was not a random act of cockness. Alongside writer Arseny Bobrovsky, Romanovskaya runs @KermlinRussia, a satiric Twitter account that lampoons the Putin government. The Vladimir Putin Fan Club and the Katya Romanovskaya Fan Club have little overlap in membership.

Fortunately, a mysterious stranger has contacted Romanovskaya in the interest of acquiring the junk for his personal collection. A blessing in dicksguise.

Image via Facebook