6. Age twenty-one - “I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever),” Stevie Wonder
K was my second true love. When I met him, he was wearing a ragged t-shirt under a dirty flannel, which I took as a dead giveaway to his amazing taste in music and massive CD collection. He was my real-life version of John Cusack from High Fidelity, a snob whose elitism came from a deep love of music, and I reveled in his limitless knowledge. Whenever I hear Stevie Wonder’s “I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)” from that film’s soundtrack, I think of him. I thought that we would get married and live in musical bliss forever, but then we broke up. The realization that I would never get his musical input again hit me like a ton of bricks.

7. Age twenty-five - “Those to Come,” The Shins
After K, I decided to take some time off and date the only thing that still mattered to me: music. I listened to old-school ‘90s hip-hop and a lot of sappy indie-rock love songs like “Those to Come.” I constantly replayed the latter as I wallowed in my small, lonely Baltimore apartment. Every time I heard the lyrics “They are cold / Still / Waiting in the ether to / Form / Feel / Kill / Propagate / Only to die,” I would tear up and have to turn on something distracting like The Evil Dead. I didn’t feel like falling in love and didn’t want to think of “those dates to come.” I just wanted to finish grad school and not have my car broken into again.

8. Age twenty-six - “I’m A Cuckoo,” Belle & Sebastian
In 2006, after an eight-month hiatus away from men and many a romantic night with a YouTube playlist, I finally found my forever-partner in Phil. We talked online for nine months, and after our first date went well, we continued to spend time together. I found out that we both appreciated Run DMC and Jay-Z, but could also have a blast at a Belle and Sebastian concert, which turned out to be our first show together. I remember sitting on the lawn, still new to the relationship and awkward with each other, when they played  “I’m A Cuckoo." I instantly felt like they were singing about me; I felt cuckoo for Phil, but didn’t want to be so obvious. The feeling must have been mutual, because we ended up moving in together after nine months of dating.

9. Age thirty-one - “Love Will Tear Us Apart,” Joy Division
Although Phil and I were textbook opposites (I was quiet, he was loud; I liked horror movies, he liked Bio-Dome), our love of music kept us connected. We watched the Joy Division biopic, Control, one night on Netflix, and shortly after, had a huge fight because I felt like our life was boring and monotonous. He packed a bag and was ready to leave, but after two hours of arguing and crying, we made up. Still, for weeks after, whenever I thought of the fight, all I could hear in my head was “Love Will Tear Us Apart." The lyrics “When routine bites hard / And ambitions are low / And resentment rides high / But emotions grow” are especially poignant; I still love the song, but every time I hear it, I think about how its title nearly came true for Phil and I.

10. Age thirty-two - “Is This Love,” Bob Marley
After six years together (and an uneventful proposal — I think I'd just filed my taxes a moment beforehand), I realized Phil was the man I wanted to marry.  I knew I made the right decision when we agreed to have Bob Marley’s “Is This Love” as the first track on our wedding CD. I played that CD every day for four months leading up to our wedding, and every day after for at least three months. It’s still in my car for whenever I need a pick-me-up. Phil and I have been married for eight months now, and we still live by the lyrics, “I wanna love you and treat you right / I wanna love you every day and every night.”