My First Time

Female • 14 • United Kingdom

I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, to my best friend at the time. He was also fourteen. I do realize how shocking that is, to be so young, but in reality it hasn't done any damage to my sexual life at all, and I could say that it's one of the contributing factors to how healthy my sexual life is. I did it primarily because I was bored, and he was bored too, and it was during the height of the summer, a time in which, when you're young, anything seems possible.

I should probably add that both my parents are ex-hippies (ones who decided in the '80s that if a revolution was possible, it would've happened by then, so they got married and had three girls). So walking around naked was pretty much normal — nay, expected — from birth until puberty. I've always been comfortable walking around with only a smile, and when I got to puberty, I was frustrated at how I couldn't wear (or not wear) what I liked anymore without being laughed at or disapproved of. This was especially annoying for me, because I developed very very early and without any brothers, and the only knowledge I had of naked men was my middle-aged Jewish father.

We went to a nearby meadow, which was dotted with bracken and field flowers...”

So I suppose I was a bit more curious than other girls about what was happening with the opposite sex under their clothes. Because of my liberal upbringing, I had no interest in clothes or Barbies, which I saw, and still see, as a sort of cage for my gender. As a result I was practically shunned by other girls, so most of my friends were boys, whom I had a lot more in common with. My best friend was a boy named Adam, who had bright blue eyes and such pale skin that it was almost blue too. When we were fourteen I was at his house and he suddenly kissed me, I laughed at first because I thought he was joking, then soon realized I felt the same way and kissed him back.

We said nothing about it for a while until one day, when we were at my house watching TV, I brought it up. He asked, "Should we try anything else?" And I said, "Ooh, I know! Let's have sex!"

It was a kind of a random decision to make but we were both excited and it seemed like fun, what with everyone going on about how great it was. So we went to a nearby meadow, which was dotted with bracken and field flowers. There were deer nearby, in the shade, which was nice yet unsettling.

We flattened some of the longest grass and sat down and started to kiss. He undid his fly, and I took my panties off; I was impressed when he brought out a condom. (I hadn't thought of that.) I was surprised at how pink his penis was, and I spent some time just looking at his body, curious. When we started, I still had my white dress on, which made me laugh, and I continued to laugh the whole way through. I was so happy and I was having fun. I didn't have an orgasm; it was over too quickly. He was very gentle and asked me if I was okay afterwards. I said I was, and it was true.

I forgot to ask him not to tell his friends. So, predictably, he told his best guy friend, who then told so-and-so and on it went until it was common knowledge that we'd had sex. I didn't really mind — no one was calling me a slut. Girls were more curious than scandalized.

We sort of drifted apart after that. I think I must have done something for his ego, as he became unbearably macho after that, which was a shame, as he was really a nice guy until then.

I really don't regret it. At seventeen, when I finally had sex with someone I was in love with, I wasn't awkward or fumbling, and I was able to enjoy it more as I knew how things worked. I think it beat having sex with someone I didn't really trust at some random party.

 

We're looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email firsttime@nerve.com with 500-1000 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.
FIRST TIMES
According to just about every pre-college advice manual, floorcest is a bad idea.
"So no, I didn't lose my virginity in the most traditional way."
"He looked like if Ian Somerhalder and Gerard Butler had somehow created a baby."

Commentarium (38 Comments)

May 10 11 - 12:06am
bl

ha this is a great way to express your comfort with being naked
"I've always been comfortable walking around with only a smile..."

Aug 15 11 - 10:17pm
s

so cute!

May 10 11 - 2:18am
gracie

call me traditional, but sex should have more meaning than just to do it for curiosity or for a boredom...

May 10 11 - 2:42am
R

Why?

May 10 11 - 3:07am
gracie

why? I guess that's how I was raised. I'm sure sex is pleasurable and awesome, but I'm not going to just give my one and only virginity to anyone. Sex is giving my physical and emotional vulnerable sides to someone. So I want someone that I trust and love most dearly. I'm not saying that young people don't know what love is, but saying "Oh, I'm bored so let's have sex" seems meaningless. These days, I feel like people lose their virginity so early on their lives and I also hear people getting pregnant when they are 16 that make me think about how people take sex so lightly perhaps. That's just my perspective.

May 10 11 - 3:19am
"[T]raditional"

Gods, I'm sick of that word.

To what "tradition" are you referring, gracie? The "Twilight" tradition? Because I'd like both you and Stephenie Meyer to know that not everything -- hell, not anything, in many cases -- about the olden times from long, long ago was so much better and more respectable than things in the icky, depraved present-day.

Moreover, I'm pretty sure that many, many people have been fucking solely out of boredom, curiosity, obligation, convenience, revenge, the need for a good workout, the fact that it feels good, etc. since the beginning of time. And for those people, that's all the meaning that sex needs to have or should have. That may very well be a "traditional" way of thinking for someone like the author (and for someone like, say, Diablo Cody; see "Juno," "Jennifer's Body," and "The United States of Tara").

But as for you, gracie, I do hope that your "tradition" has not fooled/shamed you into equating sex with love, or love with sex. The two can and often do overlap, but then so does ham and cheese. That doesn't mean that one necessarily implies the other, or even that one necessarily makes the other better.

The more you know...

May 10 11 - 5:17am
Dee

Really? Who the fuck is reading Nerve these days and giving some bullshit Conservative Christian-esque twaddle on Virginity, for goodness sake.

Virginity is not some precious special gift. It was traditionally (ah, there's the word), prized because it made you more valued for your future partner. Woo! So there you go. Virginity = value. You are now a piece of meat and nothing more than the sum of your parts.

Here's a fun clip that directly correlates virginity to $$$

"History evidences laws and customs that required a man who seduced or raped a virgin to take responsibility for the consequences of his offense by marrying the girl or by paying compensation to her father on her behalf.[16] In some countries until the late 20th century, if a man did not marry a woman whose virginity he had taken, the woman was allowed to sue the man for money, in some languages named "wreath money".

Is that fucking romantic or what?

So please, take your virginity and stuff it up your twat.

May 10 11 - 8:11am
big mac

so the person who's never had sex is lecturing people on what sex should mean?

i think boredom is one of my number one reasons to have sex

May 10 11 - 10:20am
Lee

Give the girl a break. Different things have different meanings for different people. For example, the number 42 probably has more meaning to me than the average person.

She's not wrong, and neither are the people who replied to her comment.

And to Dee: yes Nerve is very liberal in it's views, but it also preaches tolerance. Her view isn't the same as yours, but there's no reason to bash her for it.

May 10 11 - 10:55am
st

yeah don't everyone pile on gracie, it's a perfectly ligitimate point of view even if it's not mine. you guys sound like she came in here quoting scripture.

May 10 11 - 12:16pm
LM

Seriously, everyone. I don't even really believe in the concept of virginity and never felt like I had mine "taken" or "gave" it to someone, and I think sex because you're bored is totally legitimate, but gracie was perfectly nice and tolerant in expressing her views and if thats the way she feels about her body, then whatever works for her seems fine to me. Plus, plenty of kids are not ready to have sex as teenagers because they don't know how to talk about it and make sure it means the same thing to both partners, whether mutual boredom or love. We need to realize that being positive about sexuality towards adolescents does not mean we encourage all of them to actually have sex.

May 10 11 - 11:10pm
CM

Woahhh all the hostility towards the person who values one's virginity. I'm a virgin still (18) and it doesn't bother me. I know that sex can just be sex and be used for all of the aforementioned reasons but I do want to be with someone I care about for the first time. I have a lot of friends who have had sex with their respective boyfriends and girlfriends where it has backfired miserably because they thought they had to fulfill a certain time frame set up by society. Some teenagers are ready for sex. Some aren't.

May 12 11 - 8:46pm
mbz1

i like big mac's answer

Jul 06 11 - 4:39am
Queentilia

I think its so nice to hve sex at any age you feel ready, but i never had sex with anyone i ws just about to have sex with my cousin but i changed my mind. Everytime i am wet i just take a condom and put some tissues in and push it into my vagina rather than giving my virginity to anyone.

May 10 11 - 8:11am
:)

Maybe he became so macho to make up for the fact that the first time he had sex the girl laughed the entire time! hahahaaaaaaaa

May 10 11 - 10:55am
tmp

Hey, sex with a laughing partner can be pretty delightful.

May 10 11 - 3:58pm
am

I would LOVE it if I giggle & moan my way thru my time with a guy, sounds like the mostest fun ever

May 10 11 - 11:42am
pjc

Ever notice how all of these "first times" are written so well. Is writing a pre-requisite of some type for entering your "first time" story?
Hmmmm, makes you wonder. Also, the comments are all bad grammer.

May 10 11 - 1:57pm
JD

Do you really expect any halfway respectable editor to include a badly written article?

May 10 11 - 1:58pm
JD

"Also, the comments are all bad grammer."

...not that you'd be a particularly good judge of writing quality, good or bad...

May 11 11 - 4:19pm
Foist Time

@PJC: if you want to read badly written stories about First Times, there are plenty of them over at myfirsttime.com

May 12 11 - 12:57pm
Past Writer

My story was published and I'm not a professional writer. I'm not any kind of writer actually, I'm a business major and professional. And I don't think Nerve really edited my story very much of at all. That part really surprised me. I was expecting it to get all chopped up but it wasn't. I suppose it was published because it was an interesting angle. Who knows?

May 16 11 - 10:46pm
K

I think it sounds like a really sweet first time. Why try to make something more of it? It was sex, she had as good a reason as any, had fun, and when she found someone she loved, she had sex again.

May 22 11 - 10:48pm
M

so i have a big cock

May 22 11 - 10:50pm
M

so i have a big cock

Jun 15 11 - 5:57pm
ylshp89

How nice if yls (8/9/87) give her first time to me. I, shp will love and take care of her till end of our life...........

Jun 23 11 - 1:50pm
henrik2k

I liked the story, thought you might stay together. Anyway, thanks for posting.

Jul 29 11 - 5:51pm
Chanel

Ahw that was so cute it is a gr8 way how she express everthng it is in the bigining weird I was thnking to my self wtf is this but as i read on it cot romantic in a weird sort of way but i thnk its sweet!! Except the driftng apart thng but Ey they whre jst children atleast they had get it ova an done with

Aug 02 11 - 2:16am
-z-

this may sound weird ,but my first time was with my cousin when i was 11.....i guess you can say i was experimenting...nothing wrong with that......i'm 17 now and haven't had sex sense!!!

Sep 23 11 - 11:08pm
Austin

I was 12 when I lost my virginity im a guy and i am now fourteen. I had sex with a fifteen year old at the time and it was a... rather great experience, im still dating her and every once in a while we have sex.

Sep 30 11 - 12:36am
Eloise

Cutest story I have ever heard!

Oct 10 11 - 7:27am
Sir.Reality

That is a beautiful story its like you pulled that straight from a book and i can honestly say that that is the most beautiful first time i have ever heard/read. I believe it should be like that for everybody to experience that beauty of sex . Im a 26 year old virgin blk male in the south and i first hand will say that ppl make sex bigger then it is especially virginity. Virginity is what ppl make it to me its nothing i just never met the right girl ive never dated cause things just dont fall into place for me. i could go on but ill stop here.

Nov 20 11 - 1:06am
BUDDY

First sex can be very good - UNLESS the guilt feelings take over. My first "conquests" were regrettable as time passed, but as I "aged" I didn't "worry" about them anymore. It was always important to me that "clear consciousnes" prevailed. If a gal was willing, GREAT! Let's do it. Otherwise, forgetabout it! I certainly got more sex with that attitude. Still, I preferred "first sex." The gals were grateful - as was I. But I rarely ever saw them again.

Dec 07 11 - 12:43am
lil rage

wow!just because of i'm bored,they started havin sex.this absolutely dispeakable.

Apr 14 12 - 9:27pm
VirginNerd97

Hello Everyone!
My name is Jimmy and I'm here to teach you all something. I come from the house of God and God says that "you know what" is a big no no. He even told me that the word...*glances around*...s-e-x...is a baaaaaaad word and you shouldn't talk about it. He also told me that you should never EVER have...*glances around again*...s-e-x-u-a-l_d-e-s-i-r-e-s...for any man or woman...EVER! God said that you should also never masturbate and that right there is a GRAVE sin. However, if you can resist the Devil's grasp on your...*glances around yet again*...p-e-n-i-s...then you can have sex...except there is to be no kissing, fighting, biting, scratching, teasing, flirting, farting, pissing, burping, licking, groaning, pushing, pullling, moving, yelling, masturbating, and finally...THE GRAVEST SIN THAT YOU CAN DO DURING SEX!!!!!! ...*glances around and looks up at the sky in a frightening manner*...s-h-i-t-i-n-g.................Wait! NO GOD I DIDN'T MEAN I-*boom*...*gets struck by lightning*
God: "Hey! Get a load at what this loser was typing in. I'll just post this comment just for the Hell of it...SEX FOR EVERYONE! WOOOO!!!!"

May 15 12 - 7:57pm
Jake

i have lost my virginity at 12 in the school bathroom this isnt bull my gf came in the bathroom and yeahhhhhhhh i am pretty sure you know the rest

Jul 31 12 - 4:46am
Jasmine

The best story I've ever heard.<3 I lost my virginity when I was 13 to a guy that got what he wanted and left .-.

Sep 06 12 - 6:06am
Londan

I love your story... I thought you two would've stayee together :/... Also I personally don't think I would just come out the blue and say "let's have sex!". And actually fall through with it. Not at the age fourteen anyways. Eh, thinking about sex/intercourse some how creeps me out.