My First Time

Female • 15 • Ireland

I had only visited Ireland once before in my life. I was six years old, visiting with my mother's side of the family. My grandparents' closest friends, the Walshes, were with us a lot of the time, and my sisters and I played with their only son, Brennan.

Nine years later, we returned to Ireland for my youngest cousin's wedding. A lot had changed over those nine years — I'd learned to tame my wiry red hair, and I'd discovered the wonders of mascara. But, being a ginger, I looked unnatural wearing too much makeup, so when I was around my grandparents, I kept my look as bare as I could shy of looking like my six-year-old self again.

I recognized Brennan's voice at once — the same accent, but it was so much deeper.

When we arrived at my grandparents' house, they were so happy to see us, and by five o'clock the fireplace was alight and everyone had a mug of beer in hand. At about seven o'clock that July evening, we were watching the ocean from my grandparents' house, across a field of small rolling hills. And then there was a knock at the door, and Grandma jumped up to answer.

I recognized Brennan's voice at once — the same accent, but it was so much deeper. It was like hearing a song I'd once known all the words to, but had half-forgotten. My sisters and I ran to greet him at once, and we all sat down at the table and played a game of poker, catching up on what we missed over nine years. By midnight, we were all lying on the couches — the jetlag was catching up to us. We retired to our bedrooms, and fell asleep almost right away.

The next day, I woke and found everyone gone. The note on the counter, written in Grandpa's elaborate hand, told me that they were all out golfing and then were going for dinner at the Walshes' house, and I could come join them at around six o'clock. I settled down in my pajamas on the deck, sitting with my grandparents' dog, Shyla, reading an old romance novel of my grandma's. I didn't really keep track of the time — it was warm out for once, but I could see clouds rolling in far away.

I put the book down on the table and stretched, my baggy shirt rising over my belly button as my arms rose in the air, and just as I did so Shyla ran inside and towards the front door, barking. I got to my feet, messy hair falling over my shoulders, suddenly conscious of how makeup-free I was, and opened the door, expecting to see someone I had never spoken to in my life. But Brennan walked in casually, apparently paying no mind to my pajamas and lack of cosmetics. He greeted me with a friendly hello, and walked out to the deck.

We talked until the sun began to set, and then I went upstairs to get changed for dinner at his house, putting on a pair of jeans and a floral, baggy tank top. I opened the door of my bedroom to Brennan standing in the doorway. "You know, Marley," he said, "I care a lot about you. It hasn't changed over nine years." My heart thudded inside my chest. I didn't realize what was happening, but I took his hand, and he took my waist and kissed me. It was my first real kiss with a boy, and I was up on cloud nine.

We made our way over to his house, holding hands all the way until we got to the front door, where we slyly broke apart and walked into the house, the secret weighing heavy between us. Dinner was just like the night before, casual, and when everyone was in the living room, Brennan took my hand as I was coming around the corner of the kitchen and led me outside.

We ran through the immense field in his yard, past a flock of sheep, and he pulled me down into the grass with him. I laughed and kissed him, and after about half an hour — his breathing heavy, his face fading in the half-light — his brown eyes met mine, and he didn't need a moment. His hands moved from my hips to the button of my jeans, his fingers smoothly unbuttoning them. I wondered if he had done this before, but didn't have time to care. He almost knew what to do, and I had never felt something like this before.

I whimpered, and he stopped kissing me, putting his lips to my neck and breathing deeply. I was so wet, and he slipped off my jeans, my underwear going with them. He took off his, then removed our shirts. I let him do all the work, partly terrified, but a bigger part of me felt like this was right.

I was impressed to see him take a condom out of his jeans pocket, and he handed it to me. I was confused, but we had learned how to do this in health class, so I unwrapped it and put it on him, and then he was inside me. It hurt like hell for a moment, and I moaned, and he breathed deeply on my neck again. But then, it felt amazing. His breathing turned me on most, and I wrapped my legs around him. His breathing grew faster, and to my surprise, so did mine, and when he came, I came too.

We disposed of the condom quickly and sneaked back into his house to our unsuspecting families, feeling a little ashamed and guilty. But I returned to Canada knowing I loved him, and he stayed in Ireland knowing he loved me, and here I am, twenty-six now, in my last year of medical school, lying in bed with him once again.  

We're looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email firsttime@nerve.com with 500-1000 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.
FIRST TIMES
According to just about every pre-college advice manual, floorcest is a bad idea.
"So no, I didn't lose my virginity in the most traditional way."
"He looked like if Ian Somerhalder and Gerard Butler had somehow created a baby."

Commentarium (46 Comments)

Jan 03 12 - 1:23am
jaya

pull out quote! nice. this sounds way too lovely to be true

Jan 27 12 - 12:05am
raj

opium den

Jan 03 12 - 1:35am
Jake

This one rules, I thought it was written very well. Haters gonna hate, I guess. I wouldn't doubt if a few liberties were taken in the story but the author probably remembers it this way or at least close enough to where it doesn't matter.

Jan 05 12 - 10:03am
sjwecks

Precisely.

Jan 03 12 - 1:53am
charlotte

there is no way this is real. she came her first time? yeah, right. he remembered her after meeting her *once* at 6 years old?? again: yeah, right. come on nerve. have some standards.

Jan 03 12 - 2:46pm
Jessiccca

I came my first time. Multiple times. Though, My guy knew what he was doing, as I assume her's did as well, the way she wrote about it. Perhaps... Maybe your first time just wasnt that good. Or maybe theres something wrong with you..... Could you just be... fridgid?

Jan 03 12 - 6:52pm
Professor Robert

I came my first time. Although I was masturbating.

Jan 03 12 - 7:34pm
jeebus

Frigid? Seriously? Is it the 50's in here or is it just you?

And it wasn't just that she came, but they came simultaneously, he remembered her after meeting her once when they were six, they didn't have a single conversation as teenagers before getting down to business, and despite his mad playa abilities in the bedroom he totally cared about her and she was so special. It is, quite simply, a load of horseshit.

Jan 03 12 - 9:40pm
J

How can Nerve publish a story with an author describing herself as having been "on cloud nine"? This is so phony and so poorly written it's painful to read.

Jan 03 12 - 10:42pm
Charlotte

no, actually, i am certainly not frigid, thanks for asking. i also lost my virginity to someone quite experienced, so i'm pretty sure that wasn't the problem. thanks for your concern about my sex life, Jessiccca. also, i made more than one point than that. just saying.

Jan 04 12 - 9:59am
Tru

Reqaurdless of the truth of this story, it never says they only met ONE time. For all you know the one other visit could have lasted for months. it never says they didnt speak, though it is likely that they didnt, and being that the two familes were friends, he was probably told of the visit. I remember plenty of people from my childhood.

Jan 04 12 - 10:03am
And lastly

why is it everyone ignores the fact that it states "Submissions may be edited." the cloud nine refrence could be that of the editors for My first time. it's VERY likely that no story here has ever been published word for word exactly the same as when emailed. I dont see why the entire story has to be a complete FAKE because of a few lines within.

Jan 07 12 - 3:47pm
MS

What is wrong with you people? They played together many times, over the course of one visit, which could've lasted days or weeks or months-- we don't know. Then when they met again, the author says, she felt that she knew him well (his voice was like an old familiar song). He said he still cared about her, his old friend. Before their kiss, they spent an evening together talking. How is this so difficult to believe when so many of us have kissed or have had sex with near-strangers after an just evening of conversation?
I, for one, don't find this story that hard to relate to. Furthermore, I think it is well-written.

May 16 12 - 6:17pm
delaney

@ MS: Same. Maybe they've never had the experience of meeting someone for the first time, but already knowing them like a childhood sweetheart. It definitely does happen, and I for one don't doubt that one experience could create a lasting connection. I know there are people I've only met once but connected with so strongly I still think about them years later.

Jan 03 12 - 3:28am
dude

They meet once when they're little, then when they're older they're a mere thirty minutes of making out from the greatest first time ever? Sounds legit.

Jan 03 12 - 4:02am
my first time

saying this:
fake!!!!

this one just does not make sense...

Jan 03 12 - 5:19am
mmm

I'm sorry, editors of Nerve. I'm usually the last to cry foul, but this one is atrocious and obviously fake.

Jan 03 12 - 8:26am
M

I agree, I usually get tired when people send up the cry of "Fake!", but I have to agree with them this time. A sweet story, but not true. It sounds more like one of the romantic novels she said she was reading.

Jan 03 12 - 10:33am
ugh

agreedagreed. Usually I would never challenge the legitimacy of this series, because the point of it is to share all sorts of "first times" but this one was just too unreal and romanticized.

Jan 03 12 - 4:59pm
hert

I disagree. Just because it's stilted writing doesn't make it fake. She just hasn't learned how to write yet.

Jan 05 12 - 5:44pm
Agree with M

it's like you read my mind here. It's a lovely tale, but there is no way that this is a real tale. I had the same thought about the romance novel as well.

Jan 03 12 - 10:34am
Rachel

As I read this I had a little movie going on in my head.. This should be a film! My eyes were filling up at the last paragraph!

Jan 03 12 - 10:39am
PosMosephofArimathea

Maybe we should all enjoy a story we read on the internet, whether it was true or not. (And what is truth anyway?)

Jan 03 12 - 11:01am
PJC

I'll say it again and again. These are all fake!!!
Fake Fake Fake!!!!!!

If you're going to keep this 1st Time up and running (because they're not bad stories, ... just fake), then just say they are fiction for the readers.
I'd enjoy them. But I can't enjoy them the way I could if I know they're just fiction.
Be honest and get the best results.
Fake,
PS, the security words won't keep me from saying this,

Jan 03 12 - 11:54am
Observer

Sure. Fake. Fake, fake, fake.

Just enjoy it for what it is... or take a pass. No one's forcing you to read it.

Jan 03 12 - 7:38pm
jeebus

If it was labelled "Poorly Written Fiction Sex Story," I wouldn't have read it. Unfortunately I didn't know 'what it was' until I was done with it, so I think I'm within my rights to complain. This sucked.

Jan 03 12 - 12:32pm
Scott

Such a cliched view of Ireland.

Jan 03 12 - 12:43pm
Jack Son

Am I the only one to think that the branch she sits on looks eerily like a penis? Just saying.

Jan 03 12 - 7:13pm
profrobert.

I saw it too. Although I am consumed with the passion for penis.

Jan 23 12 - 7:52am
Anon

Freud would have much to say about this! Haha.
(Sorry first thing that popped into my head after reading that^)

Jan 03 12 - 12:44pm
TDC

Wow, I don't usually leave comments judging the truth/fiction of these stories, but this one is totally ridiculous. Running through a field of sheep? The girl being "so wet" despite any foreplay, and the kicker: a simultaneous orgasm? You have got to be kidding.

Jan 03 12 - 2:57pm
Vicomte de Valmont

Well, as unlikely as their odds would indicate, someone does in fact win the PowerBall every few months or so. And the human experience is infinitely various. So I'll grant it's *possible* this story isn't complete bullshit. But boy, that's not the way I'd bet.

Jan 03 12 - 4:07pm
John Son

Yeah, but it was good writing.

Jan 03 12 - 9:41pm
l

Yeah I don't usually like to critique the writing unless it was good, but this one read like a terribly written teen romance novel. I'm betting the author reread the Twilight series one too many times. I've got to say, this is one of the worst stories this column has published.

Jan 04 12 - 5:48pm
Cristina

Why does everyone think the good ones are fake? Are you saying that it is impossible to have a memorable and enjoyable good first time? Moments like this may be very rare, but it's not impossible. Besides, no one can know for sure if this is fake or to the extent to which the story was edited.

Jan 04 12 - 9:04pm
star

did she eat the condom out ?

Jan 04 12 - 9:16pm
srb

Agreed. I want to like it, but really? Are there really lucky people that have rom com lives?

Jan 06 12 - 1:30pm
Soph

Nicely written, but a fictional tale none the less...

Jan 06 12 - 9:48pm
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Jan 09 12 - 12:44pm
sajjadjb

first time sex

Jan 31 12 - 3:11am
shamili

i also have experience like this

Feb 01 12 - 3:26pm
DD5000

A point to prove this story is fake... The sun sets in Ireland after 10 in July... So there's no way they talked until the sun set and then went to dinner at 6... Obviously never been to the country...

Feb 14 12 - 9:56am
Varni

That's a great true story!!! :)

Apr 16 12 - 12:47am
Eloiseteter

So darling!

Jul 17 12 - 6:57pm
Shouldabeenme

I just got chills reading this story and absolutely believe her because this SHOULD have been what happened to me. I once also was visiting my family in Ireland when I was 6, met a family full of brothers and returned when I was 16 only to leave in love with the 18 yr old. He stole me away on my last night of vacation and gave me my first real kiss(es) until the middle of the night. We kept in touch via text and Bebo (euro-Myspace) for years until I returned at 19/20 yrs old to study abroad in Dublin. Regretfully, my first night on arrival in my grandmother's small Irish town (who was celebrating a some big soccer match they had just won that day) I got terribly, terribly drunk and woke up in bed the next morning with his older brother. I really fucked that one up...literally. Maybe I'll submit the whole story with the nitty gritty details. Except reliving will probably make me sick. Anyway, this story is very sweet - I hope it's true - and wish this is how my version would have went.

Aug 04 12 - 6:25pm
Eh

"my baggy shirt rising over my belly button as my arms rose in the air"... "messy hair falling over my shoulders"