Love & Sex

My First Time

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Female • 15 years old • Ireland

I had known him for a year. We were pretty good friends by the time he asked me to be his girlfriend on a cold January evening, two weeks after my fifteenth birthday. After that we started getting to know each other better sexually. I hadn't had any sexual contact with anyone before him, and he had only gotten a handjob before. We were inexperienced, but I was surprisingly adventurous, and he was surprisingly shy. We managed to balance out and he started being less timid. We both had our first experiences with oral sex and pretty much everything else intimate that you can do that isn't actually having sex. So five months passed, and we both knew that we wanted to go the whole way.

One day I finally got up the courage to tell my mom that I was thinking about losing my virginity. Not surprisingly, she tried to talk me out of it, but she said she'd rather I was safe and respected my decision to go to her first. So, she finally agreed to put me on birth control. With all that out of the way I thought I'd be jumping into bed with him the next chance I got, but in reality we were both more nervous than we thought we'd be. After a few weeks of my starting birth control, and a few awkward failed attempts at sex, we were both wondering when the hell it would happen.

Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

One Sunday he came over to my house and we were just cuddling on my bed, listening to music. I innocently pecked him on the lips, just out of affection, but it turned into a full-blown makeout session with me on top of him. We both stopped for a moment and looked at each other. We both knew what was going to happen. He asked me what I wanted to do and I replied, "I dunno… do you want to stick it in me?" He pulled off my panties from under my skirt and I opened his belt and jeans. The adrenaline was rushing so hard that I can hardly remember it. It was in a haze that I felt him go a bit into me, and I told him to get it in deeper. Then I was riding him. I can't honestly say how long it went on for because I was so dazed and it seemed so surreal. After a while we tried to get into missionary but I started to feel nauseous and light-headed from it all, and then he got a nosebleed.

So that's how I lost my virginity; I must say it was quite magical in our own little sort of awkward, funny way. And we're still together three years later, after many, many orgasms and lots more sex that made up for the funny end to the first time!