My First Time

Female • 16 years old • South Africa

I was on a trip with my family. We rented a van with a tent on the top. We stayed in a quite big city for a few days. On the first evening I went out of the van and straight to a supermarket. There was a boy who was speaking Italian on the phone, so I was interested. He turned out to be an exchange student staying in South Africa for seven months. He asked me out for the next night.

To persuade my parents to let me go was not that easy but finally I made it. We went to a cute Irish pub and drank Guinness there. We talked about life, school, differences between Europe and South Africa, and so on. In the middle of the night, we decided to dance to the live band. Somehow — we were both a little bit drunk — we started kissing and then went out into the freezing-cold night together. But I couldn't take him to our van, so we didn't go further.

Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

Two nights later we met again, this time in a club. There was good music and we started kissing soon. We both knew that this would lead us somewhere but at this time we didn't know where. We met another girl who was also an exchange student in the city and they both knew each other quite well. She told us that she was living in a hotel; her host family didn't like it when she came home late, so she always booked a room when she went out. The boy and I decided to go with her because the club was almost empty.

As soon as we lay down, we pulled off our clothes. It happened like it was the most normal thing in the world, and this night it was, for us. He was careful with me and he kept asking me if I felt good. I didn't care about anything else that night.

The next day I met with many of the exchange students, twelve people from all over the world. We just sat in a nice coffeeshop and talked. Suprisingly, everybody knew about the last night. Later some girls talked to me in privacy. They wanted to warn me — they said the boy just played with every girl and almost every girl here slept with him. I was disappointed, so I just said I didn't care.

Later I found out that he really was a douchebag. But I didn't have time to care: the next morning, my family and I left. We're still writing over MSN and he's back in Italy now. He keeps saying to me that I am that special girl who changed his life and that he is serious. I still don't believe him but now he wants to visit me. I will see where this will lead us.

Female • 21 years old • British Columbia

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Female • 18 years old • Washington, DC

"Between my shyness, low self-esteem, and identity as 'the smart one,' I'd never even been kissed..."