Love & Sex

My First Time: Female, 17, Montreal

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Female, 17, Montreal

Before I can explain the horrendous experience that was losing my virginity, I must explain the beautiful experience of getting blackout drunk. Many people do not enjoy drinking excessively to the point in which they cannot remember their own name or waking up lying on a bathroom floor next to a toilet that had to bear the upchuck of their digested rum and coke. Well, I am not one of those people. I drink until I can drink no more and often wake up after a night of heavy drinking smelling as if I have been living on the streets my whole life. Often after a night of drinking I am rewarded with vague memories of embarrassing ways in which I conducted myself, but nothing has topped the morning after I lost my virginity.

I started university in Canada in September a virgin. It was not that I had been waiting for the “right guy” to lose my virginity to, I really did not think that sex was a big deal at all, yet I was reluctant to lose my virginity to just anybody. My ideal way to lose my virginity had been with a guy who I was friends with and would be comfortable enough to have sex with them without awkward feelings. Although when I got to university I did not waste any time.

The university that I attend is in Montreal, Quebec, a beautiful province home to poutine and smoked meat sandwiches, but more importantly a province in which the drinking age is 18. The very first night of Orientation Week we went to go see DJ Rehab at a venue that was a 45-minute walk from my residence and a 10-minute taxi ride. The first day of Orientation Week I met a lot of new people from all over the world, and much to my delight there were plenty of attractive boys. I remember noticing one guy in particular and as I looked him up and down I though to myself, “damn”. He was tan, not very tall and had brown hair and brown eyes. On our way to the first night of Orientation, I made friends with this same guy that I had seen earlier that day. I quickly learned that his name was Matt and he was from Texas, and it all began when Matt and I decided to walk to the concert together.

Next thing I know I am naked in my bed, instantly with a headache and a nauseous feeling of regret. As I sat up and looked around my room, vague memories of the night before flooded back to me, and I didn’t know if I should laugh or punch myself. I lost my virginity on the first night of orientation week. I remembered vaguely that we had gone to the rave, left soon after arrival, gotten in a cab and went back to his room. At which point I remember that we had sex, or tried to at least. I remember stopping him multiple times for it felt as if my vagina was being ripped open with a saw. He then suggested that it might feel better if I went on top; it certainly did not.

While attempting and failing miserably to ride this poor guy, I felt the strong push of vomit come up my throat. I quickly grabbed the garbage can beside his bed, ran to his chair (still naked), sat myself on the chair and began to vomit into the garbage can. Once I was done throwing up a lung, Matt was really nice about it, ensured that I was okay, and grabbed me napkins. Then, we decided to try and have sex again. Well, that again was a bad idea for it still hurt and every time he tried to go further into me I squealed and hopped off of him. I then decided to finish him off with a blow job; keep in mind that I had just thrown up and this blow job could not have been very good.  

He actually finished pretty quickly from the head, and once he was done, I suggested that we go to my room and get high. We went the three floors up to my room and smoked weed. At which point we both got so extremely high and I have no recollection of anything that happened after that. I am quite sure that Matt and I had attempted to have sex again in my room because I was naked when I woke up in my bed, although I am sure that it could not have gone very well due to our extreme state of inebriation. Matt and I actually became friends later on in the year, and we did have sex a few more times after that, but nothing ever came from it. So no, I did not lose my virginity in the most traditional way, my prom date didn’t deflower me, I didn’t wait until marriage, and I certainly did not wait for the right guy, yet the experience is such a hilarious one I would not change it for the world. 

Image via Pliketi Plok