Love & Sex

My First Time

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My First Time - Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

Female • 18 years old • Eau Claire, WI

At the senior graduation party, I sat on a couch with a beer in my hand, staring at the television, watching a muted commercial about Venus razors. From across the room, Joel had spotted me and made his way over to where I was sitting. He didn't seem as drunk as his friends were, which made me glad. It amazed me that he'd decided to talk to me now — we'd barely exchanged five words in the years we were in school together. But he was such an eye-catcher. He had dark brown hair that would reflect blond in direct light, with these dark green eyes. And he always wore a band T-shirt — Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, etc. His punk-rock look attracted me to him even more.

We began flirting, and after a moment of looking at each other, he lightly placed his hand on my hip and began caressing my neck. I, being a little buzzed at this point, grabbed his waistband and pushed him up against the arm of the couch. In reaction to half my hand down his pants, he placed his left hand on my check and roughly kissed my mouth. Our tongues were like waves in a hurricane. I had yet to tell him I was a virgin. For about two minutes, we made out with each other, me feeling the fabric of his underwear and a little bit of his pubic hair.

Hearing our classmates laughing in the living room, we quietly tiptoed to the bathroom…

He stopped and stood up, grabbing my hand, and we made it up the stairs to a guest bedroom. I lay on the full-sized bed and spread my legs, tracing my fingers on my stomach. He locked the door and walked over to me, standing there with a bright smile on his face. "You're beautiful," he said, and I thanked him. I stood up and pulled his belt off, throwing it across the room, then unzipped his pants, kissing his chest as he held onto me, pulling off my shorts and my T-shirt. (In our yearning for one another, he accidentally ripped off the clasp to my bra — I had to use a stapler to keep it on when I left.) He carefully laid me down back on the bed, and at that moment I said, "I'm a virgin."

He stopped for a moment, thinking, then said, "That's fine, we'll do it in the shower." I took a blanket and wrapped it around the both of us. Hearing our classmates laughing in the living room, we quietly tiptoed to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and I dropped the towel, then placed my arms around his waist. The cold water hit me hard but it didn't deter me from what I wanted.

He spread my legs and I gripped the railing in the shower; I could feel the warmth of his face. I titled my head back and felt my heart beating faster as he gripped my thighs, continuously licking like my vagina was a ice-cream cone. Then he carefully picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. As I'm a pretty short girl, I rested my bum on the railing. Joel grabbed his stiff penis, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"All right, if it starts to hurt too much, tell me and I'll stop," he said softly. I nodded and with no trouble at all, got it in. At first, it felt like someone had lodged a knife into me, but as he began moving up and down, I laughed at the pleasure of it all. As he began going faster, I placed my hand in the middle of his back, feeling his spine moving in and out. "Oh, fuck!" I screamed really loud and he laughed as he merely went faster. My butt hit the railing harder and harder until, at the moment that he came inside me, it broke and fell on the floor of the shower. There was silence for a brief moment and I suddenly burst out laughing. Joel did too. He helped me back up and I leaned against the shower wall, pulling him towards me as we stood there, holding each other and trying to calm down again.

I then held his hand as he turned off the shower and we grabbed the towel to sneak back into the guest bedroom. We got dressed and walked back out into the party as if nothing had happened. Thankfully, I didn't end up pregnant. But I value my experience with him and the intense pleasure I got out of it. My affair with Joel ended about a week later, but he definitely taught me the basics of what I needed to do to give my body pleasure — to appreciate my desires and myself.