Love & Sex

My First Time: Female, 19, Southwest U.S.

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Female, 19, Southwest U.S.

We had only met in person an hour before, but in my excitement I had already undone his jeans and given my first-ever blowjob.

Almost two years prior, we'd met in an online game, and for a little over a year, we'd been romantic interests. After several failed attempts to meet, he was finally in my bedroom after a ten-hour flight.

The beauty of long-distance relationships is that you have to learn how to communicate; there's no other way to foster a relationship when you're apart. With 5,000 miles between us, we couldn't have sex, so we were forced to talk about it. We became experts at writing erotica. We had shared all our fantasies, likes, dislikes, nerves, and kinks for over a year.

After I gave him the blowjob, we lay in bed watching a DVD on my laptop, giggling about how quickly we had gotten down to business. We were both so relieved that we had chemistry in person and felt so at ease right off the bat. We stopped the film halfway, as he was jet-lagged and exhausted from his travel. He put the laptop away, expecting to go to sleep. Instead I leaned over, kissed him, and whispered, "I think we should have sex."

He knew I was a virgin, and he knew I struggled to rid myself of the religious upbringing that had made me feel incredibly guilty about my sexuality. That was largely why I had never even experimented with anyone in high school or in my first year at university. Luckily, I had finally shed the religion, so by the time he visited I was ready to have sex.

Luckily, I had finally shed the religion, so by the time he visited I was so ready to have sex.

He asked if I really wanted to go through with it, and in response, I grabbed one of the condoms I had purchased a few days before. I'd looked up a video earlier that week about how to put one on. My hands were shaking with anticipation and nerves. I was amazed that he was actually there in bed with me.

The moment wasn't the most romantic. He slipped himself into me part way and began thrusting, but I could tell he wasn't in all the way, and I wasn't getting that full feeling. I tried to adjust my position, but I couldn't very well with him lying on top of me. In our hurried passionate state, I wasn't that comfortable. My head was hitting the headboard. I asked to scoot down, but I spoke so timidly that I don't think he heard me. I waited a little while and asked again, and this time he helped to free me from the headboard. Scooting me down forced him in deeper, which in turn felt better for me.

A few minutes after he started, he came. It was fast, but I'd assumed he would finish quickly since he hadn't had sex in years. He felt terrible though. He hugged me and said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I smiled at him and told him it was okay, and hugged him in return. Then I lay back and said aloud, "So that was sex. It's no big deal!" I finally believed everyone who had said it wasn't as magical as the movies portray it. He chuckled, and gave a sarcastic "Thanks." I hadn't realized my words could be taken as an insult, so I hurriedly apologized, and we laughed.

We cleaned up before crawling back into bed, where he fell asleep immediately. I tossed and turned all night, finding myself awake every hour or so just to look at him. I still couldn't believe he was really there. I didn't want to waste a single moment we had together.

We had two weeks together before he returned home. The sex was fun, and it got better each time. We were happy to finally have the opportunity to explore each other's bodies. Since his first visit, we've taken turns traveling to each other's home country for as short as a week to as long as a couple months at a time. While we do go months without physically being together, we have managed to make things work. We're now looking forward to marrying and moving to finally end the distance in a little more than a year.