My First Time

Female, 21, British Columbia, Canada

I grew up in a socially conservative family; sex was never a topic of discussion. I learned the basics at school, but throughout my teen years, I was so sheltered from any talk of relationships, love, or sex that I matured in what I know now to be a sexless — or even sex-negative — environment. Boys paid no real attention to me (there was no romance behind the stadium at school), so I ended up developing a self-sufficient, asexual personality, which stayed with me as I left high school behind and found my way through the first three years of my university career. I had plenty of male friends, but those relationships were always platonic — I would go out for drinks with the guys and their girlfriends, and I was often the only one at the table to leave alone at the end of the night.

Entering my fourth year, I knew that something needed to change. Sex wasn't taboo for my school friends, and I found myself surrounded by it and curious. I also knew that, having gone twenty-one years with little more than a few tequila-infused kisses from the boy next door, I needed to find someone who'd understand why I'd waited so long to "give it up." Knowing that my more experienced friends and acquaintances wouldn't fit the bill, I turned away from my cocoon of school and toward the realm of internet dating. That led me to another virgin, five years my senior, whose conservative upbringing made mine look R-rated by comparison. After a few emails back and forth, we met and connected instantly.

I'd gone twenty-one years with little more than a few tequila-infused kisses from the boy next door.

I expected that we'd quickly move around the bases of intimate connection, but after three dates, he hadn't yet kissed me. Finally, we began to explore the mysterious world of sex together, fumbling and laughing our way through the bases over the course of my winter semester at school.

A trip to the doctors to get birth control, many discussions with friends, and lots of planning led to our first attempt at sealing the deal. I was so nervous that I couldn't relax, and once he finally figured out what he was supposed to be doing, I was so tense that it hurt — so much so that we had to stop. We tried again later that week, and again, to the same result: we were both so nervous that it simply wasn't happening. Finally, after a night of making out and little sleep, we awoke determined rather than anxious, and after a few minutes of rearranging ourselves — success!

Given that it was the first time either of us had experienced sex, we had no idea what to do in the few minutes he lasted, and ended up sitting around laughing over the breakfast that followed. As I started to tell him about my having to get home to finish up school work, he got a look in his eyes and pulled me back into the bedroom. Three hours later, I left for home with a smile plastered to my face, knowing we now had a whole new realm of experience to explore together, conservative roots be damned.

We're looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email firsttime@nerve.com with 500-1000 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.
FIRST TIMES
By sheer chance, Jack and I both ended up in Shanghai that summer.
According to just about every pre-college advice manual, floorcest is a bad idea.
"So no, I didn't lose my virginity in the most traditional way."

Commentarium (7 Comments)

May 08 12 - 11:26am
mmm

Loved this one! It's nice to see that despite the "asexual" upbringing, the writer and partner were able to laugh about it. Most times after I have sex, I also wear a stupid grin. Sex is pretty funny when you think about it. Thanks, Canadian female for making my day.

May 08 12 - 12:34pm
Indy

Dear new people having sex:
Practice cunnilingus over and over and over again. Get good at that first. Make her wet with desire first with oral, THEN put your dick in. Even if it's bad, it's going to be better than "just sticking your dick in" for the first time.

Parents should be teaching their kids about sex, and I mean everything about sex, that they have questions about. Nothing should be taboo. Safety and the concern of your partner should be paramount. Birth control and STD/STI should always be on the mind.
Well, at least that is how I'm raising my kids. They are 8 and 10 and as far as I can tell have near zero curiosity about sex, but they know they can come to me with any question day or night and I'll never judge. This seems far more preferred to my own upbringing, which was discovered through less-than-ideal means and my parents were absolutely silent on the topic of sex.

May 13 12 - 2:25pm
Ron

Thanks Mom.

May 09 12 - 2:02pm
S.L

HAHAHA i didn't even know about this site but this story is PERFECT. Awesome introduction to the site - keep up the good work! (and juicy stories)

May 09 12 - 6:28pm
what the heck

These stories used to come out weekly then it was every two now they've changed it again but only once every four Weeks this is redic, but in other words the story was pretty good

May 13 12 - 3:56am
hmm

I wish I could last 3 hours in bed.. i hope the bc girl I want to date is okay with me

Jul 03 12 - 9:56pm
MP

This has been one of my favorite "first time" stories!