Love & Sex

My First Time

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Female • 22 years old • Dallas, TX

I graduated in May of 2002 and spent the following summer lonely and feeling sorry for myself. All of my friends had gone back home or off to grad school. Once the school year started again, I went to a college party. (Yes, as an alumna.) I drank a lot that night, to help get through missing my classmates and the parties that we'd thrown.

It was a weird time for me. I hadn't figured out what I was going to do with "my future," I was partying with undergrads, and getting drunk was the only fun I felt like having. So when one of the school's rugby players approached me confidently at that party, I in turn played the role of cocky, confident graduate. He flirted with me, and the situation felt wonderfully dangerous and different.

Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

We left the party, sauced-up and horny. Somehow we ended up in his car, a teeny-tiny Nissan. Our kisses were messy and we slurred while talking dirty. I removed my jeans with some difficulty, and when he saw my little black panties he pointed at them, like he owned them, and declared that "those [were] coming off." I remember being turned on by how sure he was.

His shorts and boxers were off quickly after that, and I went down on him for a bit (one of my first blowjobs ever), only to realize that he'd fallen asleep. I stopped for a minute and went back at it. He woke up briefly to murmur, "That's the coolest thing ever to wake up to." Then he got out of his car, naked, and vomited in the parking lot.

He crawled back into the car, where I'd been laughing at him. We fucked. We managed a doggy-style position in that little car. I didn't come. He did.

He called me once or twice after that to try to hook up again, but it never happened. I felt ridiculous after finding out that he was something of a slut on campus, and that our little escapade was probably nothing new for him. It just made me miss my friends more.