Love & Sex

My First Time: Male, 16, Ontario

Pin it

Male, 16, Ontario

“We've got to get you laid this summer.”

“Sounds good but I don’t know. I'm not exactly great with girls.”

It was the summer holidays and I was staying with my cousin at my Aunt and Uncle’s house. The first time I met Lois, I was so stoned that I couldn't remember meeting her. There were only four of us in the woods that night, my cousin, his girlfriend, Lois, and me. We were already high when the girls arrived. In those days we were into buckets, bongs, and smoking a lot of weed very fast to get as fucked up as possible. That night I had definitely succeeded. The next day, my cousin spoke to his girlfriend on the phone, after he hung up, he broke me the news.

"You remember Lois?"

"No."

"The girl from last night?!"

"Not really." 

"She wants to fuck you.” 

I remember being very surprised, the girls at my school showed no interest in me at all. I didn't have much confidence but I was kind of funny. Perhaps I was exotic to her because I was from (near) Toronto. From what I could remember, she was blonde, slim, and cute. My cousin filled me in on the details; she was a year older than me and sexually experienced. 

My cousin planned the night I lost my virginity meticulously, if he hadn't, it probably wouldn't have happened. He told his parents that we were going to camp out in the backyard, which was true, but what he didn't say was that we were going to have two guests. It was the summer and hotter indoors than out, so not actually that strange or suspicious. Lois arranged to sleep over at my cousin's girlfriend's house, which was relatively nearby. After dark, they snuck out and met us and we all went back to the tent together. I think we were pretty much sober, though we may have shared a joint and a few bottles of beer which we would've stolen from my Uncle's two-four. It was not a big tent. For modesty's sake, my cousin had divided the tent in two by pegging up a bed sheet. It's a shame that teenagers don't have more access to private spaces. My cousin and his girlfriend were on one side and Lois and I were quietly talking on the other. After a while, there were kissing sounds coming from their side of the make shift divider and then there was a pause. 

“Clark, do you want a condom?" 

I was probably embarrassed and thought Lois would think it was presumptuous so I said no. I really didn’t think I would need it. At the moment he asked me, I’d never even kissed a girl before. Up until that point, the sum total of my sexual experience was masturbating. I hadn't told Lois that I was a virgin but since my cousin had told his girlfriend, it's likely that Lois knew. Like I said, it was a small tent, even laying side-by-side our bodies would've been pressed against each other the whole length. Somehow we started kissing, I don't remember how, but it was nice. She kind of gently led things along, I certainly didn't have the courage to undress her, but when she took off her top, I took that as an unspoken invitation to touch her breasts. I'm not sure if we discussed it much, but I think that after a while she asked me if I wanted to have sex. I said that I did. 

There was a logistical problem – no condom. I was young but not stupid. It was widely known within our family that my cousin's dad had gotten his mom pregnant when she was only 15.

"Jimmy. Sorry, but umm, could I have that condom?”

“Sure."

It was pitch black, but I put the condom on without much fuss. The first time I put one on it was because I was unsure if my penis was big enough to even fit one. It's amazing that in this day and age there isn't more quantitative information. I watched a BBC documentary by Louis Theroux about a brothel in the states in which one of the prostitutes authoritatively said that five or six inches is average.

Once it was on, I lay on top of her and she helped me put my penis inside her vagina. She was already really wet, I didn't know much about it, but I knew this was a good sign. I had heard from my younger cousin, or was it my cousin's girlfriend's brother, that having sex was like doing lots of push-ups, but luckily I found it wasn't that physically exhausting. We remained in missionary throughout, and I thrust for a reasonable amount of time before coming. Masturbating in the shower earlier that day had probably helped me to last a bit longer. After I silently came, I continued thrusting for a while for good measure. Afterwards, we cuddled and kissed. I had no idea if she enjoyed it and due to the lack of privacy and my fear of embarrassment, I didn't ask.

This may sound stupid, but I thought that my orgasm from having sex would be more intense than the ones I had experienced masturbating. Obviously I mean strictly in terms of penis and brain pleasure receptors. The whole physicality of sex – kissing, tongues, a lovely warm moist vagina, tactile, hands, bodies pressed together, fondling breasts, etc were like nothing I had experienced on my own. I just thought the orgasm itself would be more firework-icle and triple-intense, and I remember thinking that in a way it was a bit of a let down.

It was a pretty good first time as far as I was concerned; nothing embarrassing had happened, I hadn't come instantly and as far as I knew, there was nothing to give away the fact that I was a virgin. I ended up in a long distance relationship with her for a few months. We didn't really have that much in common aside from a shared taste in music but I thought that was what I was supposed to do. At the time I was pretty happy to have lost my virginity and to have a first girlfriend. Looking back on it, I think would have preferred to have had more of an emotional connection, but for that kind of sex, I’d have to wait four years.