My First Time

My First Time: Female, 14, California

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We’re looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email firsttime@nerve.com with 500-1000 words. (Don’t worry, we won’t print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.

I wasn’t the girliest girl growing up, so while the other little girls at school were busy squealing about bugs and cooties, I was rough housing with the boys and listening in on their little “sex” talks. (Humping was a big thing to them. Don’t ask me, we were in elementary school. I was confused too.)

Don’t take this story as a coming out story. Sadly, I’ve never had sex with a girl. My curiosity about sex started from an early age. (Ugh I was a horny kid. Embarrassed to say I still am.) I tolerated a few gropes out of pure curiosity. As I got older, my horny 14-year-old self wanted more. When I finally got an actual boyfriend, I took that as my opportunity.

My first boyfriend was actually my best friend’s brother who was one of those “misunderstood” guys who talked way too much. We had a crush on each other before but never addressed it. We were together for like a month when I finally let him kiss me — as horny as I was, I had a kissing phobia — and then it went to touching and so on. We didn’t have sex til after he broke up with me while playing a game of Call of Duty — should of been my first warning he was a loser. Why? Well he wanted to be friends with benefits and since I was still hung up on him, I agreed.

The night it happened, he was pestering me to let him stick it in because his fingers just weren’t doing the trick and after relentless negotiating, I finally mumbled a “yes.” I was lying on the floor in his living room in the dark with a house full of people, including my best friend, within hearing distance. He did his thing as I lie on the floor staring at the ceiling practically comatose just thinking to myself: “I can’t believe I’m losing my virginity.” Followed by: “I can’t even feel his dick.” After everything was done, we sat on the couch and I asked him, “So how was it losing it to me?” And I will never forget his reply to this day. “Oh, you aren’t my first!”