My First Time

My First Time: Female, 23, New York

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We’re looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email firsttime@nerve.com with 500-1000 words. (Don’t worry, we won’t print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.

I did it! I finally lost my virginity. I always thought that after I lost my virginity that I would wake up and the universe would be different. That I would get bigger boobs, be super skinny, and master every sexual position. Nope. The universe is still the same and my boobs didn’t get any bigger. But, I did it. I’m a grown up now. I can sit at that adult table during holidays.

There isn’t much to say about the guy I was seeing, just that his name was Tall. For me, height is kind of a big deal. I’m 6’0. When I meet guys, I put them in my phone by their first name then their height. So, Tall, 6’3.

Some parents would be mad if their little girl brought home a Republican. Not my family. Their only concern is that said guy is taller then 6’0. And now, that’s my number one rule when it comes to dating. Shallow? Maybe. I didn’t really just give my virginity to this guy just because of his name. Although when I think about him, that’s the only thing I can remember. Oh, and his balls. Jewish men have hairy, hairy balls.

The magical day was April 18th. I lost my virginity. I don’t remember what the weather was like, or anything else I did that day. Tall came over late because he said he had work that day. I don’t remember anything from that night, really. Just that we had sex. I guess I wouldn’t really call it that. Basically I waited 23 years for someone to go soft inside of me. Talk about a disappointment. I went to bed that night thinking about the one guy I regretted not sleeping with, and how, just maybe, he probably would have made it special and good.

The next month was an awkward sex test drive. Tall wasn’t that experienced either, so sex with him was very vanilla. Two awkward people should never have sex together. I felt like I was having sex with myself and I wasn’t very good yet. And for the record, nobody ever taught me about bedroom etiquette. During a weird transition I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you okay? Did you go soft? Are you alright?”

Apparently, that’s something you should never ask a man.

It started to get better. I wanted it all the time. That’s probably the only good thing about dating someone. You can have sex all the time! You don’t have to go looking for it. It’s a friend for sex.

I was helping my friend cast his show and I had a two hour break before our next set of auditioners. And I thought what a wonderful idea it would be to surprise Tall with a quickie before I had to go back to work. I’m feeling really good at this point. Who doesn’t want day sex? I get to his house and he sits me down. I was being dumped! I’ve never been dumbed before. I mean I’ve had guys stop calling, but I’ve never really been dumped. I was nervous and all I could do was start laughing. I began hysterically laughing in this guy’s face. I didn’t know what else to do but stand up and say, “Okay! Well, I guess we’re not having sex, so I’m going to go.” So I left with a door slam, of course.

Shortly after we broke up, I found out he was dating someone new. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I waited until I was ready. Was it the right person? I thought so. I wanted it to be with someone I trusted and someone I was exclusive with. As far as I know, he’s still dating that girl. Facebook says they have been dating since April 18th. I guess he didn’t really have to work late that night. I wonder if he goes soft inside her too.