My First Time

My First Time: Male, 14, Massachusetts

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A very select few of my friends have heard this story. This is because I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I was fourteen years-old, and home from boarding school. I do not remember for what holiday, but that and the summer were my only reasons for leaving Massachusetts.

I met “L” through my youth group. She was more attractive than other women I had slept with, which was zero at the time. I did not like “L.” In fact, I hated her. As any fourteen year old would, I disliked change very much. She was new to the group and nobody had discussed her joining in my absence while I’d been away at boarding school.

I was used to coming home to my good little worshipping, singing, jesus freak friends. We all listened to DC Talk, Newsboys, Audio Adrenaline and very much enjoyed meeting up at the church for a gathering called “Riot.” We were full blown brainwashed, God fearing, wait-till-marriage teenagers. Or so I thought.

“L” did not care for my presence either, or so it seemed. We saw each other the same way. Both of us were altering the dynamic in which we interacted with our circle. She was used to getting attention. I was used to coming home and everyone being excited about it, wanting to hear lies about how I got with “so and so” at Roller Kingdom.

We all got a little rowdy one night after Riot while we waited for our parents to pick us up. We were drinking the coffee because we knew where the pastor hid it. At some point, while chasing her through the halls, she ran into the women’s bathroom. I followed without thought. She was prepared with the sink on to splash water in my face. I retaliated with a palm of liquid soap to her hair (I have feeling all the women reading this just gasped).

Needless to say, what had been a fun outlet for our frustration had just hit its peak. She was infuriated. She had that “I just wrote you off forever” face that I saw more than a few times between then and now. That is how that night ended.

Eventually, at some point, I let the fact that I had a bit of crush on her slip. One friend told another and then eventually it got back to me in the form of a phone call from her. She said, “It’s L. Ditto!” and then hung up. It took me a second to figure this out. I called her back. Her Aunt answered so I hung up. She called me back and said, “What?” I laughed. She hung up.

My plan was to see her again without letting my parents know that they had any reason to restrict us. I had no Idea that we would be having sex, I just planned to touch her chest and stick my tongue down her throat. So, I asked if I could throw a good little Christian party. With some manipulation, I got them to say yes. One way or another, L got word of the party and showed up. The plan for the evening was to hang out, drink soda, play Dance Dance Revolution, and watch Princess Mononoke. L and I did most of that.

Once the DDR was done, we popped in the anime masterpiece. L and I watched for a short while. We were nuzzled against each other on the couch. Then, all of the sudden, my groin felt the touch of another hand for the first time. I am pretty sure my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I wasn’t ready for it. I was completely focused on the movie. I moved her hand away. This wasn’t because I  didn’t like it or because I was more interested in the movie, it was because I wasn’t confident that this could continue without me making any noise. In my ear, L asked “Why?”

Without my answer, she got up and said she was going to the bathroom. Now, there was a bathroom upstairs, which was where she went, but there was one downstairs too. The unique difference was that the one upstairs was nowhere near my parents and also next to my bedroom. I waited a few minutes to confirm my hunch and when she hadn’t returned in ten, I went upstairs too.

She wasn’t in the bathroom. She was in my room looking through my closet. She started talking about how I should throw away my polyester Dragon Ball Z  Shirts (I did). Then she came up to me and said, “I wanna fuck you.” This is where I should tell you that L was 17. She had done this before. I had not. I could not respond to this. I had no idea that women even told you when they wanted to have sex with you, let alone in such a blunt and explicit manner. I knew her from church.

She must have thought this was cute so she walked into the bathroom, which was two steps across the hall from my bedroom entrance, and turned on the fan. I followed L into a bathroom for the second time. She took her pants off and left her bra on. I was already hard. There was no turning back. She lie down and guided me into her.

It took me about 20 thrusts to find a rhythm that I liked, and then I quickly had to switch from that because it was working too well. I pulled out because I was about to come. She told me to keep going. Too late, I came on her stomach while her eyes were still closed. I apologized and she smiled and kissed me.

We went downstairs separately, pretending that none of our friends had noticed how long we had been gone. It was only a few minutes before she asked me to go back upstairs. I followed L into the bathroom a third time. I lasted only a little longer this time.