Ten Illustrated Stories About First-Time Sex

Funny, sad, and nostalgic tales submitted by Nerve readers.

A year ago, we started collecting your stories about having sex for the first time. Some of these have been hilarious, some awkward, some sad, and some sexy. All of them have been honest. Here are our ten favorites. Do you have a great first-time story? Tell us! My First Time runs every Tuesday on Nerve.com.

1. "I zeroed my sights on a bassist..."

Female • 17 years old years old • Pennsylvania

I celebrated the end of my junior year of high school with my ultra-cool, apartment-renting, punk-rock-music-educating, twenty-one-year-old boyfriend dumping me. Later, I found out the reason — I didn't put out.


Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

So when I ended up at a local punk-rock show he was also attending a scant few months later, I decided jealousy was the best weapon. Using my sweet-ass vintage Wonder Woman t-shirt and the kind of perky boobs only a girl of seventeen can possess, I zeroed my sights in on Dan, a bassist who spastically jumped and thrashed through his band's set of three-chord, throat-punishing songs. He was also shirtless, except for three pages torn from Hustler, adhered to him by his surprisingly sticky sweat.

But what made him perfect, despite the fact he only topped a hundred pounds when holding his bass, was the fact that he was friends with my ex. I'll show you who's frigid.

I don't think Dan and I ever went on any outing you could actually classify as a date, but if we had, I approximate I gave it up on date three. We were in the cinderblock basement of his mom's house, in a room made tough with liberal use of duct tape, band stickers and the central placement of his bass. Of course, his mother and still-elementary-school-aged sister could easily be heard moving through the rooms above us.

After making out moved us from recliner to mattress, we conveyed to each other through a series of head movements and meaningful glances that tonight was the night — no more V-card. While he fumbled around looking for a condom, I pulled my jeans and panties down, but left on my tank top, half because I was still so shy about my body and half because the chilly basement temperature.

Then he was on top of me... and then I think he was inside of me? My virginity, the last of its kind in my circle of friends, had been lost in under thirty seconds. Still above me, Dan leaned back and whispered, "It gets better than this."

I stumbled to the bathroom to clean myself. I came back to find Dan lounging in the recliner, staring blankly at the TV. We spent the rest of the night watching a marathon of the dating show Change of Heart. It would take weeks — weeks curiously void of any other attempt at intercourse — for the irony of that entertainment choice to sink in. I've never tried to make a man who dumped me jealous by trying to fuck his friend again.

NEXT: "The first time we went out ended in handcuffs..."

Commentarium (60 Comments)

Jun 22 10 - 12:34pm
Ben

this is great. The Hasidic one is my favorite

Jun 22 10 - 3:03pm
Corabelle

Perfect sex in a hammock sounds good on paper. But man, being on bottom while merely making out was a bit wobbly. I give them props for making this happen.

Jun 22 10 - 4:24pm
Moops

Another case of how religion makes things crap.

Mar 14 11 - 8:33pm
Rocky

you fucking bitch. i probably dont sound like in right now but(t) im catholic. bitch. bitch. bitch.

Mar 14 11 - 8:33pm
Rocky

you fucking bitch. i probably dont sound like in right now but(t) im catholic. bitch. bitch. bitch.

Mar 14 11 - 8:33pm
Rocky

you fucking bitch. i probably dont sound like in right now but(t) im catholic. bitch. bitch. bitch.

Aug 27 11 - 7:21pm
Troll

Catholic scum

Sep 07 11 - 5:56pm
me

LOL. That was the saddest story I've ever read, how wrong that is!
'Rocky' is an idiot.

Jun 22 10 - 5:46pm
Steve

Glad to know I'm the only one who didn't loose their virginity as a teenager... :-\

Jun 22 10 - 11:27pm
Christ

No you're not Steve.

Jun 23 10 - 12:09am
Jess

You are definitely not the only one Steve :)

Jun 23 10 - 1:31am
Jen

Totally not the only one, Steve.

Apr 01 12 - 2:10am
sunny

feel the pain of others

Jun 23 10 - 2:03am
John

You waited until you were a teenager?

Jun 23 10 - 2:25am
asdf

The second story that ended with handcuffs must have been from a long time ago. If something like that happened today there would be sex offender charges thrown in there instead of just a misdemeanor.

Jun 23 10 - 6:56am
Dude

The second story with police happened to me and my girlfriend before. The cop was a total dick telling me to "get the f*** out of here, you disgust me" and "How dare you take advantage of this girl like this". It was pretty rediculous how bad they were trying to make it look. I was 19 and she was 18. Not my first time having sex, but I can relate to the story.

Jun 23 10 - 9:17am
Ehh

Wish the illustrations had a bit more diversity when the narrator's features weren't explicitly described.

Jun 23 10 - 12:36pm
awd

its so sad for the last story
:(

Jun 23 10 - 3:45pm
Name

The 4th story is beautiful and sad and lovely and so well-written.

Jun 23 10 - 6:45pm
Christ2

Yeah, no you're not Steve.

Jun 23 10 - 8:31pm
V

Great stuff, but would be nice to include at least one boy-boy or girl-girl first timer.

Jun 24 10 - 12:19am
joa

agreed.

Jun 24 10 - 10:06am
lu

yeah, it's weird that this is mostly white people illos with the only non-white being... the prostitute? :( and let's get some successful queer stories in here. reflect the rest of us a bit more?

Jun 24 10 - 10:25am
Jo

Mine's closest to the hammock...but I was 25... :-D

Jul 02 10 - 3:46pm
R

I would have expected at least one story to involve vehicular sex.

Jul 27 10 - 3:40pm
Pougf

This Gets me hard

Aug 24 10 - 2:16pm
John Doe

My wife and I waited till we got married to have sex,we had sex 1 time on our honeymoon.I thought it was the greatest ever,,.she said that she would never do that again..and she did not...You should have sex before you get married to make sure you both like it,

Jul 30 11 - 12:01pm
Bha v

I am sex men

Aug 28 10 - 8:45am
Okay

So im a 19 year old male and a virgin. ive gotten a BJ once but i dnt count that as sex... It gets to me sometimes that i am when most 0of my friends arent. Sometime i dnt want it to be random. I want it to be with someone i care abt...but the way things are im just gonna have to go with a random person......

Sep 01 10 - 7:53pm
Noo,

James may

Sep 01 10 - 7:56pm
James may

Noo, do not do that, "okay". It is called peer pressure. Just keep cool and don't do anything rash like that. Wait for "the" person. :)

Nov 09 10 - 11:37pm
first time

i had my first time tody! it was amazing....

Nov 09 10 - 11:37pm
first time

i had my first time tody! it was amazing....

Nov 27 10 - 12:35pm
Jenn

I believe that what matters the most is 1) you love them, 2) they love you, and 3) you don't regret it later. I regret the first time, even though we waited over a year. However my bf now (he's my second) and I did it after almost 3 months, and it was the first time I had ever made love. My only regret is I wish I had saved myself for him <3

Nov 30 10 - 11:56pm
leila

these stories are great, they all seem pretty realistic! The one in the hammock reminds me of my first time the most though.

Dec 09 10 - 8:47am
Lily

The last story... it's wonderful. It's like a story from an old literature book. It makes me sad but it makes me aware of how wonderful it is to be young and carefree.

Good stories! Thumbs up

Dec 09 10 - 8:48am
Lily

The last story... it's wonderful. It's like a story from an old literature book. It makes me sad but it makes me aware of how wonderful it is to be young and carefree.

Good stories! Thumbs up

Dec 09 10 - 8:49am
Lily

The last story... it's wonderful. It's like a story from an old literature book. It makes me sad but it makes me aware of how wonderful it is to be young and carefree.

Good stories! Thumbs up

Dec 12 10 - 10:10pm
wow

That a very intresting story and by intresting I mean weird but a very good lesson

Jan 10 11 - 5:31pm
Weirdo becky

Is it usually normal to have sex as a 10 year old? my younger sister is 10 and has had sex could it be possible to have a 10 year old and a 10 year old have sex?

Jan 10 11 - 5:42pm
hi!

follow me, dizzybaby666 on twitter!!!

Jan 24 11 - 3:14am
mmmbaby

ithink im gonna have my first time soon. my boyfriend and i are ready. wonder how kiny it'll be ;)

Feb 22 11 - 1:31am
snodder61

follow me, snodder61 on twitter!!!, & harry jones on facebook!!!

Mar 14 11 - 2:49am
im a virgin

i feel horny

Jul 03 11 - 2:57am
same

s

Mar 14 11 - 11:59am
rujan

m vergin

Mar 15 11 - 8:12pm
Me

Wow

Mar 16 11 - 8:19am
Meee

this thing make me horny

Mar 16 11 - 8:19am
Meee

this one make mee horny

Jun 05 11 - 6:18am
Silas Hesselberg

I am a man" and I think that you are not a Hor slut ETC you are a young beautiful woman who happened to lose her virginity to a nice young man. You should have married him he loved you I can tell live your life how you want to But youl find him one day?

Jul 01 11 - 1:27pm
Krista

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year but we want to wait until we're both 15 (about another year) for our first time. I'm really excited. My favorite story was the hammock one, it was so romantic.

Jul 03 11 - 2:56am
cool grl

Geez people! You should really wait until your married. If your religion says to wait, then wait. Don't have sex, because you might end up breaking up. It's not uncool to wait, if anything, it is extremely cool. But, if you ended up with the person you did it with, then I guess it's not that bad. But please people, just try to wait for marriage. Don't give in to peer presure. Please be strong. Don't be a hater on me just because I think people should wait for marrige. Just say that you don't agree. That's all you have to do. Well I guess I'm done here.

Aug 29 11 - 10:10am
Trady and his lady

My current darling was my first time.
We went to school together for 6years straight not saying a word to each other. But by our last year of school he developed this crazy sudden jolt of interest in me. The first time we kissed it was the best first kiss I ever had. It was at a costume party and he was a tradie (slang for tradesman in Australia) and I was dressed as a 1960's lady. We kissed on a trampoline and slow danced on a dance floor fueled with heavy dance music. We were so zoned out by each other we didn't realize how out of place and ridiculous we looked.
After that kiss we started attending all the same teenage house parties. It was brilliant, we didn't even have to try to start any sort of mood. We knew we were going to get closer and closer each time we saw each other.

Then one party, funnily enough another costume party. I was wearing suspenders and a bowler hat and he had on this suave well fitting op-shop suit. He picked me up like a princess and carried me down some stairs outside, to the bottom of this very secluded grassy hill. As we kissed hands were everywhere. I wouldn't say I was as keen as him, I had never had sex before and he already knew of it's luxuries. He breathed all over my body and finally leaned into me and whispered 'Do you want to?' I just nodded. Before he was in he held himself right against me and said 'Don't worry, I'll look after you." and away we went.

I wouldn't say it was perfect, of course I was all 'ouch' under my breath, trying to disguise my displeasure with moans. But it was terribly sweet, he could of been all creepy and dirty talked, but instead he would say between pants 'are you okay?' 'is this alright?' We must of been down there for hours, because we got back to the party and everyone was gone. As we walked out of the party he said 'next time, we will try this in a bed."
Now older, we still have sex adventures. And on the nights where we don't have to worry about work the next day, we have 'sex marathons'. Oh, and no costumes needed anymore!

Sep 07 11 - 7:30am
kaufen generic Ciali

54swOK Sometimes I also see something like this, but earlier I didn`t pay much attention to this...

Sep 07 11 - 7:30am
Cialis Rezeptfrei

u3FX4H Cool! You have answered. I'll take a quote! The meaning of life and everything else. Decided. No kidding...

Nov 13 11 - 11:33pm
LOL :D

random name, idk y, but i like 9 best.

Nov 15 11 - 1:21am
Julia

Had my first time today. It was painful but amazing none the less c:

Dec 29 11 - 2:13am
mark

am 18 me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time last night it was wonderful

Feb 15 12 - 12:53am
This Chik

Doing. It for the. First time with my bf/ best friend since preschool ( same person) on Friday I'm nervouse but ready =•3

Jun 18 12 - 5:00pm
Aynonomous

I agree.......
:-P