Not a member? Sign up now
4. Emma (2011)
Emma was my dating-site success story. We had a casual relationship which typically consisted of watching Netflix in her bed and eating brunch together. Looking back, we were really together because of physical attraction. One day, she went on a business trip and never came back. Well, she came back, but she just stopped calling me.
M: I liked her a lot. What can I say? Too bad you gave her scabies. You guys were like a comedy team. She was very beautiful and she ate like a horse. I really admire that in a girl.
D: Well... just from the time I met her, I thought she was superficial. I thought she was good-looking, and that's all I remember of her.
M: Although, on the downside; she was very, very skinny and didn't look like she had child-bearing hips, possibly denying me grandchildren.
D: I liked the fact that she was skinny. She looked great in those tight pants.
M: Hey! I'm standing right here!
M&D: Above average. So B.
5. Steph (2011-2012)
Steph was a love interest of my late brother. After his funeral, she and I split a box of wine and cried into each other's arms. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing. Both of us felt guilty constantly over being together. But we both saw my brother's personality in each other and found that it was hard being without the other person.
M: She was intelligent and charming. She looked good when she woke up in the morning with no makeup. And she was a great cook. But she was kind of your late brother's would-be girlfriend, so if you guys ever made it official, he would strike you down from heaven... yet, I would seriously love some grandchildren from her.
D: Boisterous and rambunctious in a good way. Spontaneous, cute, and simpatico.
M: Good sexual chemistry. Let's put it that way. Future potential as a daughter-in-law. It's so cute how you guys talked to each other. It was like two little kids on a play-date: really excited all the time!
D: She was my favorite.
M&D: A+!
Want to meet someone you can take home to Mom and Dad? Meet them on Nerve. Want your parents to grade your exes? Email submissions@nerve.com.







Commentarium
comments powered by Disqus