Love & Sex

Please Advise: I rush into relationships in winter to avoid depression.

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I'm calling it "seasonally-affected singlehood."

Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she can't answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this gentleman out — give him advice in the comments below.

Dear Nerve,

I go through the same cycle every year, and this year, I'm trying to break it.

I'm a guy at the the upper end of my twenties, and though I'm not exactly "feeling the pinch" of being single, I am slowly realizing that it might be time to stop living like I did fresh out of college.

A big part of that is what I've been jokingly terming my "seasonally-affected singlehood." Typically, I spend the summer single (or singleish), and then as the seasons change and it ends up getting closer to winter, I start looking for a relationship. I don't really see this as such a problem; anecdotally, I understand that this is pretty common.

But then I start to think about my actual problems with depression, and how the past five years of my life have typically followed this exact structure, and I don't feel so okay about it anymore. I start to think that I'm just afraid of being alone with myself once things start to get a little rough. I'm treating these girls like crutches, but they're all crutches I see for four-to-six months at a time and then break up with like clockwork once I start feeling better. 

Is this healthy? Common? Is this cause to look for further help, or am I making a snowy mountain out of a summery molehill?

— Seasonally Affected and Single

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