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Please Advise: The Love of My Life Reappeared. Should I Leave My Current Girlfriend?
You get a chance to answer our readers' sex & dating questions.
Each week, the inbox of our venerable advice columnist, Miss Information, is flooded with queries. And although she makes a valiant effort, she cannot answer them all. To deal with the surplus, we've decided to turn to you. So, don your spectacles and help this man out. You can give him advice in the comments below, or, if you'd like to share what you wrote with your friends, on our Facebook page.
Little over a year ago, my girlfriend (we'll call her "L") broke up with me. She said it was because she found someone else, then because of the distance (we lived five hours apart), then just because. I was heart-broken, though eventually I moved on and had a few successful, albeit short relationships. Nevertheless I always remembered the amazing sex and adventures we had. She still reappears in my masturbatory fantasies, and is, by far, the most beautiful girl I have ever been in a relationship with.
Flash forward to this past May, when I became started dating another girl (let's say "J"), a casual acquaintance whom I've known for about two years. J and I have a great relationship. We also live in different places, but the distance is not a a big deal; we drive to see each other often and have established a great deal of trust in the relationship. Our sexual needs are solved through by toys and amazing amounts of sex when we do see each other. As well, we've only had two small arguments in the entire course of the relationship. Both were over small issues, neither of which I can even remember fully. We even do all the adorable couple things I've wanted to do, or thought I should do, in a relationship: weekend trips, dinner with the family, anal sex, etc.
Recently, however, the luster of this relationship is beginning to wear off. The problem stems from both of these women. I was recently contacted by L, who is now asking me to leave J for her. I've missed L since we broke up. Even having realized that the relationship was possibly not the healthiest, it was still by far the most fun. My problem is that I'm unsure whether I'm just romanticizing the time L and I had together, all the while fearing that I am becoming complacent in my relationship with J. I realize that L has not been the most honest person, but I still want her.
Should I break up with J, and wreck a good thing, to take a gamble on a girl who broke my heart? Or am I just falling victim to a "grass is always greener" mentality? It's difficult because I realize J is the safe bet, though I'm not sure I'll ever have as much fun with her as I did with L. Please help — you're my only hope.
— One Lady-Friend Too Many
Tell him what you think he should do in the comments below.