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Report Card: My Ex-Girlfriends Rate Me
"Without turning this into a pornographic novel, that's all I have to say about that."
by Jeremy glass
Upon telling my friends and family that I was sending out questionnaires to all my ex-girlfriends and having them grade our relationship, I was met with the same general reactions: shock, laughter, awe, High Fidelity references. People asked me why I was being so masochistic. People asked me if I was fishing for compliments. When it comes down to it, I didn’t do it because I was curious. I’m not going through any major life crisis and, despite my love of attention, I’m not fishing for compliments. I write so much about my romances—my exes, girls I’ve crushed on, women I’ve looked at, one-night stands—but it’s always only my point of view. I’m bored of my audience hearing only my side. Thus, I decided to do this article. I don’t agree with a lot of what was said: I know some of the girls are lying about certain events, I know details were embellished, and I’ll defend my awful tattoos ‘till I’m deader than disco. But it’s not my place to edit the words of others. So, below are girls I’ve dated and how they think I measure up.