Some Totally True and Totally Outrageous Stories of New Yorkers Having Sex in Restaurants
It’s more of an urban legend than something that people do between the appetizers and entrees.
By Julia Bainbridge
We've all heard of sex in restaurants and seen it in the movies, but does it really happen? It feels like the Mile-High Club: a fantasy whose only "totally true, man" accounts are from your friend's cousin's roommate. It’s more of an urban legend than something that people do between the appetizers and entrees.
I did a bit of canvassing of friends, neighbors, and found that there are more stories out there than I thought. Here are the best ones.
Female, 27, Bushwick: My husband was working late [as a server at a restaurant]. I was getting totally tipsy at the bar with two gay men who were really hilarious and chatty; they stayed to hang out with me while we waited for the restaurant to close. Then he closed the restaurant and we had a hilarious drunken dance party for an hour to ‘80s music. Then the gays left and we had a quick little rendezvous in the bathroom which was sweaty, fun, and very pleasurable because it felt so naughty! I think the dishwasher dude was still downstairs.
Female, 25, Williamsburg: I had about 600 wines, and I was with a really close guy friend at a restaurant in Brooklyn. We were both feeling it, so he snuck off to the bathroom and I followed, like the little creep that I am. He basically ripped my shirt off the minute I walked in and we had a sexy little make-out session. He left the door unlocked! People were banging on it and asking "What is taking so long?!?!" I snuck out first – I can't believe no one noticed – and he followed, and we just pretended like nothing happened. I eventually took a cab home.
Male, 32, SoHo: The first time I met this guy in person was at a restaurant in West Hollywood. Before we met, I had seen him on the cover of a magazine and found out we had gone to the same college. I emailed him, he called me, and we corresponded for a bit. When I was headed to L.A., where he lived, I arranged a dinner with him and three other guys I had flings with in the past. But when I saw him in person for the first time, it was like zing! Immediately we were touching and grabbing beneath the tables. There was a lot of flirting going on around the table, and I felt a little guilty having all three guys there at the same time. But eventually, the one became too hot too handle. So as soon as he got up for the bathroom, I quickly followed. It's safe to say the other two guys knew what was going on.
Male, 45, Midtown: It was 5 p.m. and I was at work, behind the bar, and two lesbians fingered each other right in front of me. They were sitting in chairs with a little table in front of them. It began calmly, but after one or two drinks they were totally fingerbanging each other – it was under their skirts but they were spreading their legs and everything. There were a few other customers there but strangely none of them noticed. But I could see pretty much everything. I couldn’t believe it. They got kicked out and claimed the manager was discriminating because they were gay until the manager informed them that she, too, was a lesbian and that their behavior was inappropriate for straight or gay people.
Male, 33, West Village: I met a guy in Los Angeles, and a week later he gave me a ticket to fly to Australia to visit him while we was on a job in Melbourne. The first night, we went out to a nice restaurant that I had read about and wanted to try. It was broken up into several smaller dining rooms. The two of us were super giddy, and total flirting with the waitress all night long. We kept sneaking in quick grabs and kisses throughout the meal with each other. By the end of the night, the dining room was clearing out and we were the only ones left. We ordered sorbet for dessert. As soon as we had our dessert and the waitress left the dining room, I stood up on the banquette and pulled down my pants partway and placed a spoonful of sorbet there and he licked it off.
Female, 37, Dumbo: I was on a first date; we went to The Spotted Pig. We were sitting at the bar, drinking a lot of cocktails. Then we went to move to a table, to eat dinner. While we were walking, he said, "Take your panties off." I said, "Right now?" He said, "In the bathroom, go." I don't know what's wrong with me but that seemed like a completely sane, and fun, thing to say/do. I came back to the table where he was seated, and put the thong on the table. Right there, in front of him. In front of everyone. A table of gay guys were sitting next to us and they just died. They all wanted to adopt me. It was such a great New York night.
Image via lizstless