Ever boned a lady, only to forget her favorite type of zoo baby the following morning?
Ever boned a lady, only to forget her favorite type of zoo baby the following morning? Ever gone down on a nameless guy only to have your mind swiftly erased by a super power magnet before you leave his house? Other than maybe getting checked out for early onset Alzheimer's, there's now a desktop and mobile service to help you keep track all of those oh-so-forgettable sexual activities: Nipple.
Marketed at this year's SXSW, this new sex tracking app sounds a lot like Spreadsheets at first, with the fancy time tables and graphs that help you track "how your performances evolve," but it also provides a handy detail collection service. Much like the "Notes" section of your iPhone, Nipple will let you keep track of those pesky personality traits of all the people you hook up with. The website copy reads, "Does she or he likes anal and have fun with ropes? That is something you should remember!" [sic]. Which, in all honesty, really is something you should be remembering. Is this app supposed to be used solely by people literally so inebriated they can't recall where their last fingerbang came from?
Yep. As a rewarding incentive for all your Facebook likes and Twitter follows, the Nipple creators are claiming that once they reach 50K users, they plan to select a special winner for a free trip to Las Vegas, Kingdom of Forgotten Drunken Sex.
For the Caesars Palace-bound among us who could really benefit from an app tracking their every blowjob, there's also a Hall of Fame portion of the app for the most active public users, aptly named the "Tiger Woods Award." Currently the very Italian-sounding Brescino, Borm (possibly an IKEA shelf), and Nino are the frontrunners for the highly esteemed title, so you all have your work cut out for you.
Image via Nipple.io.