Patrick, 45, Brooklyn, NY

When's the last time you got laid? 
Oh, Jesus Christ. You guys aren't fucking around. Two nights ago? Honestly, it wasn't all that great. It wasn't all that connected, we were doing it just for the sake of doing it. You know, better than jerking off. 

Please grade your orgasm. Like, a B? 
No, it was like a D. 

What's the difference between fucking a younger girl and an older woman? 
There's not really a difference at all. All that matters to me is an emotional connection. And in the absence of that, it's just like, well... let's just do it anyway. 

The D-grade orgasm — was she younger or older? 
They were younger. 

They? You had a threesome and it was a D?
[laughs] Yeah. They were wasted. 

When did threesomes get boring? 
Wait, no, hold on a second. That's not what I'm saying. This particular one was no good.