Bilal, 29, Los Angeles, CA

Do you have any good hook-up stories?
Yes, I do. This one time I hooked up with a girl I used to work with, and we were at her apartment, and we were both stone-drunk — like Mickey Rourke in Sin City stone-drunk, and we're fucking, and I let loose the biggest fart — 'cause, you know, she's on top of me, and she's riding me so she's pushing down on my stomach. It sounded like Wynton Marsalis just walked into the room, let loose a note on his trumpet, and then walked out. But the thing is, she was so drunk that she either played it off perfectly or she didn't even notice.

You know this is being published, right?
I don't give a shit! I've told that story to my mother.