Abbi, 23, Paris, France
Do you have any crazy hook-up stories?
I have one from Portugal. I went out with my little brother and his friends, and I met this Australian guy, and I was really drunk and gave him my number. He texted me the next day and we got absolutely shitfaced. He was very good-looking, but he was brain-dead. At four in the morning, he was like, "Do you want to come back to my house?" and I said "No, you can come back to my house." But my bedroom was literally across the hall from my parents' bedroom. So we did the deed, and it was horrible. Both of us were too drunk to remember how to have sex. Neither of us knew what we were doing and we were absolutely hammered, and at one point he turns to me and says, "I love fake tits. I'm so glad you have them because I love them."
I didn't know whether to be extremely offended or extremely complimented. But I told him, "Seriously, you have to leave." So it's six in the morning and I put this guy in a taxi and I think, "I never want to see you again." And he says, "We should go out for drinks tomorrow," and I said, "No! I just remembered, I actually have to go home tomorrow morning. I have a flight really early."
But you didn't.
To cut a long story short, the next night I went to a bar with my dad's fiance, and we were getting absolutely shitfaced. Eventually we were waiting at a taxi run. I look down the taxi run, and who the fuck is sitting there? He's kind of looking up at me, and I'm looking back going, "Oh fuck!" trying to hide behind my dad's fiance. I told her, "That's the guy from last night!" And she's so fucking Irish, she turned to him and asked if he wanted to share a taxi. I was like, "Get in the fucking taxi and shut up!" and he looked at me and said, "Oh my God, babe, I thought you were going home!" and I said, "I am going home! Goodbye!" I was trying to close the door and he was trying to get in the taxi, and I shut the door on his arm. The last thing I saw was him holding his probably broken arm as we were driving away.