Talking to Strangers: Atlanta, GA

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we've just met.

By Cristen Conger and Gilly South

April, 26

What do you do for a living?
I run a show space called Couch Couch.

Does your job ever get you laid?
It could if I ever exploited it. But I don't like to date musicians anymore. They're permanently on stage, so you're basically in the audience all the time. Unless you play music with them — then it's a relatable thing. Otherwise you're always in the audience.

Where did you and your current boyfriend meet?
I think it was through friends. We live similar lifestyles; we don't have cars and ride bikes.

How long have you been together?
About a month. It's going well! His movie is in this show tonight. It's called Jesus and 40 Thieves.

Are you in it?
No, it's puppetry.

Have you ever done anything dirty in a movie theater?
Not that I know of.

What's your favorite movie sex scene?
I Heart Huckabees, when they're making out in the mud.

Oh, nice. Have you ever made out in the mud?
Not yet. Every time it rains really heavily I want to go run through Candler Park in the mud and get really slimy.

Maybe you could get your new boyfriend to do that sometime.
That's the plan. We could find a big mud pile.

What kind of kinks are you into, other than rolling in the mud?
Rolling in the mud would be awesome. I'm really into yoga and stretching, so I always imagine being tied up to one of those machines that would stretch me out.

Like a pilates machine?
Yeah, something like that. Something where I could be tied up and stretched.

How do you feel about watching porn?
I think it's lost its artistic credibility. I've seen Deep Throat, and that's the classic one, and it really has a point to it. It's a film, and really well done with cinematography and the angles, and what they're trying to portray isn't just this ultimate ending. I think today it's just execute, execute, execute.

There a couple in Brooklyn who started their own porn company and starting doing DIY porn. Have you heard of them?
No, but that's really interesting. I think there's definitely a need of revitalization of the porn industry. There's nothing wrong with seeing it in a moving image, but just the way that it's done now is so patriarchal. It's not for women.

Since your boyfriend's a filmmaker, would you ever let him film you guys having sex?
Yes. I trust his artistic values.

 

Patrick, 26

What do you do for a living?
I work at a bar washing dishes.

Does that ever get you laid?
Yeah, it has. It's always a bad idea.

Laid with other coworkers, or patrons?
Let's not get into that.

So you're in a new relationship with April. How did you guys get together?
I'm not really sure — it was sort of organic. We'd been friends for a long time, but I'm not sure who made the first move. I guess she did, because I'm kind of a coward. We'd both been in sort of messed-up relationships. And I liked her, but I didn't want to bring in my bag of shit. Then finally we both liked each other and decided to try it.

How long have you lived in Atlanta?
Four years.

How would you describe dating here?
It's all right. It's the same as everywhere, I guess. There are a lot more shallow people than other places I've lived, so that's kind of aggravating.

What characterizes a shallow person?
Being more concerned with material stability than actual self-fulfillment — I think that's a good definition. If your concerns are petty — about, say, the shoes you've bought, rather than the people you know and the things you've accomplished in your life.

What are your other dealbreakers?
Small dogs are a warning sign.

A warning sign of what?
I don't know. It's just been a trend. Especially small chihuahuas. Steer clear.

What are your major turn-ons?
It's all personality and creativity and the ability to hold a conversation. And I talk a lot, so having someone who can hold a conversation is important, but so is having someone who can be quiet and listen to me talk for four hours. Just kidding! Glasses are also a big turn-on. And I guess I'm a leg man more than anything else.

What do you think about watching porn with a lady friend?
No. I don't know that I'd ever want to. I used to look at a lot more porn. Then I got a girlfriend. Porn is a fantasy, and it's not the same as sex with another person or being in a relationship. So that's not a fantasy space I want to share with someone else. That's more of a personal space. I wouldn't want to watch someone else masturbate and I wouldn't want to masturbate in front of someone else. That's private time.

Is there something embarrassing about watching porn with someone?
It's a little awkward, and most porn is for men, and a lot of woman aren't into it.

Would you be down if a woman instigated it?
I guess I'd try it. I'm down to experiment, but more specifically I like to try something that someone else is into. But I wouldn't be the one instigating it.

What's your favorite movie sex scene?
Is there a sex scene in Jaws?

Um, not that I know of.
Well, if there is, then I'd say Jaws. Sharks are sexy.

Have you ever had sex in a movie theater?
No, I haven't, nor would I want to, because movie theaters are gross, and your feet are sticking to the floor. Who sat in that seat? And in New York, that's how bedbugs spread.

Those are all good points.
It's fucking gross.

Have you ever had anything weird happen to you in a movie theater? For instance, I was in a Michael Bay movie once, and a guy was jacking off next to me.
Was it Michael Bay?

 

Friday, 26

What do you do for a living?
I'm an artist-slash-photographer.

Does that ever get you laid?
Whoa, no. I keep it separated.

Are you in a relationship now?
Yeah. It's a fresh one. I was single for the past four years and now... it's actually weird sometimes not being able to mingle. There's this side of me that still wants to be able to flirt and be myself.

What drew you to dating this girl after being single for four years?
That's a good fucking question — I don't know. She just struck my attention over time. You spend enough time with anybody and you can build something, and that's what we've been doing: building emotional Legos, one on top of the other. We're here today trying to work things out, keep it going.

What are your turn-ons?
I appreciate a good face, a healthy smile. I used to be an ass man, and I've moved back to breasts. But other than that, I just need someone who's not uptight. I don't need a hardcore person who's like "That's not right!" I need someone who has a looseness about themselves. I'm not asking too much from anybody.

So you want someone who is independent?
You mean financially? Mentally, mainly. I don't know how the hell you get your money, you know. You get it how you want it. But mental independence, definitely.

How do you feel about sexual monogamy?
I love the idea. But then, I have friends who are polyamorous and are able to make it work out. I don't see how the hell I'd be able to do that. I don't really want to see her with someone else over there. But if she does, that's cool — I just don't want to hear about it.

How about for you? Is it hard to just have sex with one person?
Yeah, I'm down. You just need to find more tricks behind the curtain. Like role-playing, that's cool. And I like outdoor sex. That's the shit.

Where's the coolest place outside that you've had sex?
A junkyard. Yeah, it was pretty tight.

Where do you have sex in a junkyard?
In cars! I mean we didn't just find a nasty Buick and do it in there — I got my car and we found a spot where it blended in. It worked.

Since we're right next door to a movie theater, I have to ask — have you ever had sex in one?
Not yet, I'm working on that actually. The back-row thing, a handjob or something. I'm down.

What about watching porn with a girl?
I've never done that. I'm more trying to get my lady and me to film each other and then upload it on YouTube and shit.

So have you filmed someone else and yourself having sex?
That's some good shit, but I haven't done that yet, no. It's not too far-fetched.

I'd be nervous filming myself. I'd be worried others would see it — that it would get leaked.
Really? Leaked? You're not a rapper or anything.

Maybe you just haven't heard of me yet.
Ha, that's hilarious!

What's a dealbreaker for you? If you see a hot girl, what would be an instant turn-off?
Stupidity. At least some form of ignorance about the world. Shallowness is a huge turn-off, like "You have to have this car," or "I don't like what you're wearing." Stuff like that is for the birds. Don't be an asshole and we're good.

You're a pretty stylish guy — do you like girls who also have a sense of style?
That would really fucking help, but if you don't, you don't. I just need a sweetheart with a big ass!