Jacob, 26

What do you do for a living?
I work at a bar and a record store.  

Record stores are kind of romantic, right? Do you ever get dates from work?
No. Someone once asked me out but I said no. It was actually a friend of mine, and I literally just said, "No."

That's pretty awesome. Because the rest of us don't know how to say no, and we really wish that we did. So are you dating anyone right now?
Yes. She works next to the record store. I've known her for a while. I'm friends with her ex-boyfriend. But I'm not good enough friends with him that I feel uncomfortable about dating his ex-girlfriend. We've only been dating for about a month.  

What's your first fight going to be about?
I don't know. Probably something petty. She's very, very nice.  

You probably get approached by girls at work all the time. What's an immediate turn-off?
I really hate when girls try to pander to what they think I'm interested in. 

Like music?
Anything, but that's the worst. People do that a lot. Because I work at a record store, they think that that matters whatsoever, that they like things that I might like, but I don't care about that.  

Would you ever go on a blind date?
No. That would put me in a position of being a jerk, like if I sat down then just got up and left. I'm impatient.  

Do you think it's sexy if a girl approaches you, or do you prefer to approach her?
I do think it's cool if a girl approaches me, but I like it more when two people kind of approach each other. I like it more if you're having a conversation with someone and it's obvious that you both like each other. Then you both kind of awkwardly ask each other to hang out at the same time.  

What's the worst date you've ever been on?
I bet I've been on dates with people where I didn't even know we were on a date. Where I thought that we were just hanging out as friends. I'm pretty sure that's probably happened. I can't think of a specific bad date because I'm not really the kind of person to just date, like, "It's a Friday night so I'm going to go on a date," then never talk to that person again. I've never really done that, so I don't know.  

Biggest turn-on?
Ass. 

 

Analea, 24

What do you do for a living?
I'm a hairdresser at a strip club.  

Did you ever dance there?
No. 

But you're friends with all the dancers?
Yes. 

Do you get laid from that?
No. I don't intertwine with my work.  

Do people think they can score with you because you work at a strip club?
No, I think I'm more intimidating than that. I'm kind of a bitch sometimes.  

What's the bitchiest thing you've ever done to turn a guy away?
This sounds so terrible, and I can't believe I'm going to tell you this. My friends and I were talking about how guys buy you drinks all the time — but how long do you have to talk to them after they buy you a drink before you can leave? So in New Orleans one time, some guy was like, "Can I buy you a drink?" and I was like, "Yeah, sure." So he bought me the drink then I left. Then I went back to my boyfriend. 

How long do you have to talk to a guy if he buys you a drink then?
Apparently only three minutes. 

Is that the rule? Because I've been wondering that myself.
Apparently only three minutes, because he didn't try to come talk to me after I took the drink and left.  

One day, I want you to ask a guy how long you have to talk to him after he buys you a drink.
Okay. I'll do it. I'll do that one. 

Are you in a relationship now?
No. 

Are you sleeping with anyone?
When I'm drunk, every once in a while I will call a certain someone. I have a booty call. It's not an every day or every week sort of thing.  

What do you look for in a guy?
A good job. Smart. Can hold a conversation. Isn't an asshole.  

What kind of guy do you feel like you attract?
All of them. Assholes. I think I attract more of the guys who don't fucking do shit with their lives, who are fucking stupid. Then they shortly realize that I'm not the bitch for them. The bitchiness detours the douchebags, but it also gets the guys who are like, "Oh my God, she's a bitch and she doesn't care!" 

Like, she'd probably spank me in bed, and that'd be hot...
Yeah, yeah. 

So if your sex life is an animal, what would you be?
Maybe a mix between a black widow and a praying mantis. Because it could work, or I could eat you alive.  

Do you have any dealbreakers?
A lot. 

Just start listing them.
I would never date someone who slept with, hit on, or made out with any of my friends. I might sleep with them still, but just because they're easy and I'm kind of a man at heart. Another dealbreaker is if you don't have a job. I'm successful, so I need someone who's equally or more successful than I am. Maybe a little less. I can be the breadwinner as long as you have a job and can pay rent. You have to like to travel. You're just ignorant if you don't like to travel. You have to drink. I'm not a lush but I like to drink. You have to like cowboy boots. Jameson. 

You have to like Jameson?
Yeah. Well, maybe not. Weed. Oh yeah, you've gotta smoke weed. I love that in a man. If we can smoke together, that's beautiful. Just lie in bed and smoke a bowl. 

 

Josh, 26

What do you do for a living?
That's a good question. I'm not really sure. 

How does "not really sure" work for your dating life?
It works fine; it doesn't really play into it. I work at a couple of restaurants and play music. I've pretty much worked in restaurants since I started working and I'm trying to be an artist and do that stuff and get away from working in restaurants. 

Do the ladies like your art?
So far, I think so. 

Do you romance them with your artistic skills?
Not really. I just sit back and let the magic happen, I guess. I'm kind of casual and let whatever happens happen. 

How's your romantic life right now?
It's pretty good. It's steady for the first time in a few years.

If your bedroom style were an animal, what would it be?
I actually did, when I was really drunk, attack my girlfriend for thirty minutes making an unknown animal noise, which wasn't sexual at all really. It was just me acting like some sort of mutant wolf for thirty minutes the other night. So the animal we'll say is a mutant wolf. 

That's terrifying.
Terrifyingly beautiful. I'm a very caring mutant wolf. 

When you're not being a mutant wolf, what's the sexiest non-sex act a woman has ever done to you, like making dinner?
Making dinner definitely wouldn't be the answer. I can make myself dinner. I like doing stuff outside. A lot of things I end up doing involve not the most legal activities, so, people who are willing to put themselves out there. People who are willing to do things that will potentially be dangerous but who are conscious of what could happen. 

Any dealbreakers?
I have a ten-year-old son. I'm a musician. I'm an artist. I work two jobs. I have a lot of things going on in my life. I appreciate my time to myself. So balancing my time is difficult, and a person who doesn't respect that is definitely a turnoff. It's okay to need something from someone. But you need a balance.

Has your son ever been a dealbreaker for someone else?
Not yet. I've been lucky. The fact that I'm involved with my son's life hasn't come up yet. Maybe it's because certain people I dated never got close enough to me to where that was an issue, or people who get to know me and we actually date for a while see that it's not going to be any sort of hindrance to our relationship.  

What was the last romantic thing you've ever done for a woman?
This morning my girlfriend told me she didn't want coffee when I left to go drop my rent off at my landlord's house, but I got her coffee anyway.  

That's it? Coffee?
I'm just saying that was this morning! That was recent. My memory isn't what it used to be. I have been criticized before for not being romantic enough. I'm just a spontaneous person, and things that are planned, I'm working on that. I'm working on my romance.