Talking to Strangers

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

Leda, 24

What's your job?
I am a waitress. 

Do you ever date people you meet at work?
I have in the past, but not at my current job, no. I used to pick up dudes at my other job.  

Is it a good way to meet guys?
Not necessarily, because if they really like coming into the place where you work, and it doesn't work out, you have to face the awkwardness of seeing them while you're working, and having to talk to them.

How would you describe dating in Austin?
There are some people who just do one-night stands. There are also people who really love long-term relationships. I know some people who have been together for five, six years, and they don't even think about talking about marriage. They just know that they're still going to be together for however long they're going to be. Especially among young people, it's very varied.  

What's your type?
I like a lot of different kinds of looks. I like the punk-rock look. I love the indie look. I'm kind of a sucker for nerds with glasses who read books by themselves in restaurants and stuff. But I also kind of like really wild-looking guys, who look like they maybe ride a motorcycle, and drink whiskey, and like to get in fights, and stuff like that. 

What about girls?
I used to date girls. Not a lot. I dated a couple. I mostly date guys. With girls, uh...

Higher maintenance?
Yeah, there was that. At the time I was also really inexperienced in that realm of having sex with girls, so I was pretty uncomfortable, and I felt really bad about myself, just as a lover, so that's kind of why I went astray from that. And also what was missing for me was the obvious. 

Penis?
Right. 

Your friend said you were a "ho."
Oh, wow. Well, she's a ho, too. I guess maybe she might be right. I don't ever claim that I'm just the perfect little chaste girl. I date a lot of guys. 

How many is a lot?
I don't have a number.  

Tell me a crazy hookup story.
I hooked up with the bassist from The Vibrators. I thought that was pretty cool. My friends and I went to this show, and they were really drunk, and I wasn't that drunk yet, and the bassist had kind of been making eyes at me all night. They ditched me, and he was like, "What are you doing? Why are you sitting all by yourself?" I said, "Oh, my friends ditched me." He was like, "Well, you're in luck, 'cause now you get to hang out with me." It was amazing. He was just... experienced, I suppose.  

What're you like in bed? 
I sort of like being in control. I like when he seems to be really into it, and really excited, and that just kind of makes me really happy as a person. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if I'm getting anything out of it. Just as long as they're, like, going crazy.  

 

Scott, 43

What do you do for a living? 
I'm a river guide in Idaho and Montana, and I'm also a vintage-clothing-store owner. 

How's dating in Austin?
The dating scene in Austin is pretty good, when you're dating. There are a lot of beautiful women in Austin. Whether they're my type, I'm not sure.

What is your type?
Naturally beautiful. No makeup. Can take care of herself. Stands on her own two feet. Enjoys life. Is fun. Exciting. 

You like hippie chicks?
I like girls that shave their armpits.

Do you have a method for hitting on women?
Just be myself. If they don't like that, they probably don't like me. Lately, they approach me. Probably because I don't do much approaching anymore, unless I'm severely into that person.  

Do you have any crazy exes?
My ex-wife is bipolar. It was pretty much a rough go.  

Does that make for an exciting sex life, because you're getting two for one?
It's pretty intense. I'm a Scorpio, and she's a Scorpio as well, and it makes for some real good sex, but passion and excitement in the sack doesn't always carry you through to a nice relationship that's healthy.  

Has anyone ever shocked you during sex?
All of a sudden, we're in the heat of passion, and this girl sticks her fingers up my butt, and tells me, you know, I'm gonna love that. It just made me want to go to the bathroom. It kind of killed the deal. 

What about the reverse?
I've done that before.

What's the most out-there place you've ever had sex?
I was in Turkey, on a hill, in a Turkish ruin that was built by Greeks and Romans, and we snuck up there and had sex. It was an amazing view. Really exciting because it was dangerous and mischievous.  

What's the secret to pleasing a woman sexually?
Maybe listen to her a little bit? Actually care for her? Instead of just fucking her?  

 

Kelly, 26

What do you do for a living?
I'm a hairstylist. 

Do you meet a lot of people you'd want to date doing hair?
No, I do not. Unfortunately. I've dated a couple of my clients, and it hasn't worked out very well. I wish that I could meet more men through the salon, but it doesn't happen that way.  

What's the dating scene like in Austin?
It's... interesting. I'm newly single, so it's a little frustrating. I'm also sober, about two years sober now, so I don't really go out to bars. It's hard to get into the dating scene when you're sober.  

What's your type?
I think personality's a huge thing. They have to have some sense of humor. The more the better. But also be able to be serious. Physically? Fit. I like guys with tattoos a lot. They don't necessarily have to have tattoos on them. One of the boys that I'm dating right now has no tattoos. 

Did you say one of the boys that you are dating?
One of the boys. 

How many boys are you dating right now?
Um, about three boys. 

What's it like to juggle three guys at the same time?
It's pretty difficult. I've almost cross-texted on accident. It's interesting. 

Do you sleep with all of them?
Uh, yes. For the record, yes. 

What's your secret?
Shit. See, I feel like I just fall into it. I don't mean to. I mean it's fun for a little bit, it's exciting, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, because at some point you have to make a decision, and at some point you're going to hurt somebody's feelings, and I don't like that. I'm not huge on dating because I feel like it's a bunch of mini-breakups, and I hate breaking up. Out of the three boys, there's one that I really enjoy having sex with. The other two, I would say, meh. So maybe, like, if I could splice them all together in some sort of way, I'd have the perfect man. 

What's the craziest hookup you've ever had?
Well, there's quite a few. I mean, shit. Craziest? Definitely done three-way, with two guys. This was back when I was drinking, and I was pretty drunk, and I started making out with one guy, and I guess the other guy thought it was pretty hot, so he got in on it, and stuff started happening. Actually, it was more of a blur than anything. There are a lot of crazy sex stories from when I was drunk. 

Has anyone shocked you in the bedroom?
I don't know if anything's really shocking. I'm pretty open to anything. One time, a random hookup, this guy totally slapped me in the face with his penis. It was a huge dick. I couldn't believe that he did it. It was very shocking. But all I could do is laugh.  

What's the craziest place you ever had sex?
I lost my virginity on a trampoline. That was awful. The bouncing was not good for losing your virginity. 

Is there anything you won't do sexually?
No anal. Hell, no. Fuck that. Not into that. Tried it. Don't like it. 

You must have some crazy exes.
Oh, I've had a lot of crazy exes. Well, I'm still married for one, but we haven't been together for about three years now. He's not really crazy; we're actually still really good friends. Recent crazy ex is this guy I was dating for maybe a week. He got really, really too attached. I broke up with him after that happened, and he proceeded to, like, basically stalk me, and since then, I've gotten, like, a huge, giant flat-screen TV, a leather couch, a red leather chair from him. But I manipulated that situation as well.  

You seem like a little bit of a heartbreaker.
You know, I told my twelve-year-old niece, if a boy wants to give you something, material-wise, take it and don't ask questions, because most guys, in my opinion, are kind of stupid.