Marco, 35

Are you seeing anybody right now?
Yes. Well, we're beyond the phase of "seeing" each other. It's more serious. But we don't call it a traditional relationship.

Why not?
We're good as we are without the need to make it official, to define ourselves as "a couple." We don't have a formal commitment.

What do you do that is different from traditional couples?
Nothing, really. We actually spend a lot of time with her family. Because she's from the south of Italy, she's very traditional. So we go out with her family a lot, mostly with her sister and fiancé who are around our age. But also with her mother when she's here in Bologna and not back home in the south.

How is your girlfriend, or whatever you want to call her?
She's very peculiar. Let's say she lives life very passionately.

Do you mean she overreacts to things?
Sometimes she does. But I balance it out — I play it down, trying to convey my attitude of serenity toward life.

How do you impress the ladies?
My approach is very soft. It's definitely not the Latin-lover approach. It's not aggressive or physical. It's more subtle. I try to instill some curiosity about myself in the person I'm interested in. If I sense that we have some common points, I play those up a bit, maybe I act more compatible than I really am. I mean, it's like in advertising — you have to place the product you want to sell. After that, I proceed with the classic moves.

Do you find your soft approach is successful?
Yes, many girls have found it intriguing.

Some women complain that men fear approaching women now — they back out, they don't make their intentions clear. Do you think it's true?
Men have definitely changed. But that's because women have fought for and reached equality of the sexes. So men have had to take a step back, even two or three, so that women could take some steps forward. So women shouldn't complain. They should meet us halfway. Otherwise, where's the equality?

Do you mean women have to give it to men sooner?
No, I mean they have to give it equal to the men! There's this idea that men only think about sex, but it's not true. It's just that men are ready sooner, while women like to preserve their sexuality longer. I guess it's part of the nature of women, but if men could wait just a little longer and women anticipated a little then it would be ideal. And men wouldn't be thought of as perverts.

I guess it also depends on the type of relationship you want.
Yes, of course. For example, with the girl I'm seeing now, when I realized it could become serious, I was happy to wait. Also for me now, sex isn't the primary goal. It should be more like the confirmation of a good relationship.

Do you have any crazy exes?
Yes, I have one. We were together for three years. She just had a completely unrealistic sense of life. She was totally okay with not having a job and living off of her parents. She was a parasite toward everybody — she constantly used people for her own good. But at one point it became pathological. She didn't even appreciate what other people did for her. It took me a while to realize that it wasn't just a phase for her, that it was her way of being.

What's the nicest thing a girl has ever done for you?
It was from a girl who wasn't my official girlfriend because she already had a boyfriend. I'd been teasing her for a while about how she couldn't act like girls you see on TV — you know, very provocative, scantily dressed. One night she surprised me with a little show in her bedroom. She'd worked on all the details I had been testing her on, from her "non-clothing" to the rest. I had described certain things that I wanted and she provided them all.

Can we know what these things were?
Well, no! But she did it in a very ironic way, so in the end the funny part prevailed.

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