Talking to Strangers: Boston, MA
Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
By Elissa Gross
How would you describe the dating scene in Boston?
I've dated quite a few people, but I've never had a serious boyfriend in Boston. But, I've met them at anywhere from a birthday party to Relay for Life to Martha's Vineyard. And I've been on dates, but also gone places to do overnights way too quickly. There's a preppy theme here in Boston, and then blue-collar. I've tried both.
Any weird/embarrassing/off the wall sex experiences you're willing to share with the world?
Oh yeah. One guy asked me at the end of the date if I wanted to split it, which was mortifying. And then the sex was really bad that night and I could not get into it. And he got annoyed with me — we'd only been seeing each other about a month and a half. He got really irritated and then just rolled over and went to bed. So that was awful. But then, with this other guy... so, I have orgasms from everything else, but never from sex alone, and I had my first with him twice in the same sex session! It was so exciting. Best sexual experience of my life, by far. There was another guy, though, who must have had a premature-ejaculation problem, because both times I hooked up with him, he came within thirty seconds. So that was uncomfortable. He apologized, and I tried to make it okay, like "Don't worry about it! Why would you wait? Orgasms are fun!" but I think it was a deep-rooted problem for him. No complete horror stories though.
That's good. What are you looking for in a partner?
Right now, short-term, intense lust. Excited about each other, close communication. I'm a serial monogamist, so that's what I'm looking for. Two month stints, four months tops. Nothing less than two months though — then I feel cheap.
So, how do you know when you meet someone that you want to be with them? What about them attracts you?
Well, sometimes it's just an instant sexual attraction. Actually, it's usually just that, to be honest. If they're not too nice, not too mean, then I like them.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yeah, I guess so. I've never had it. I've never been in love — I said it once, but I wasn't. They made me say it. After a few months of just saying, "Thank you," I had to start saying it. But I do believe that maybe you could love someone at first sight. What I don't believe is there's one person for everyone and that you marry the first person you fall in love with. There's maybe 1200 people for everyone... probably closer to 1200 in the whole world. So you're probably going to have love at first sight happen in your life, but you shouldn't marry them. You should be in love with them for two to four months. No, I'm just kidding. Maybe a year if you love them. Then move on to the next. A year is a definite breaking point. I've had two year-long relationships and always at a year is the time where I decide, "Do I want to proceed or do I want to snip?" That's when you snip. If you're not sure, you snip. If you're not in love after a year, you snip.
Snip snip, got it. Kinkiest thing you've ever done?
Never had a threesome, never been with a woman, never had butt sex. Considered it, never got the courage to do it. Never had a vibrator. Have a vibrating ring from sex, which I kept, but it's not the real deal. Never had sex with two guys in the same day or week. Month, yes.
NEXT: "I find the men in Boston much more chivalrous and manly, and I like that..."